DebraLee Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 My two year old is alwyas up my butt during the day. I don't know how to handle it. He has so many toys and stuff yet he wants to jump all over me all the time. I am contemplating having a job next week. How is he going to handle that? My other problem with him is eating. This kid wont eat any fruits or vegetables. In fact its hard to get him to eat anything at times. He refuses to open his mouth. We have to fight with him at dinner. My son is VERY stubborn and he is not like my 9 year old was. What do I do? He never listens to "NO" and my husband has to yell at him to get his attention. Ive tried tiem out and stuff but he is so active that this doesnt last long. My 9 year old as mild ADHD now Im wondering if Im going to have bigger problems with my 2 year old or is it just his age. HELP!!! WHat do I do or not do? Im going to go insane soon. Link to post Share on other sites
DebraLee Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Just trying to get a lil answer before the lil demon wakes up formhis nap! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 As far as your son being all over you, my son was the same way and I don't really see that as a problem. He wants to play and be with you. Being that he's only two, he's not really at an age where he's going to be able to entertain himself for very long periods quite yet. Just enjoy the attention while it lasts. If you get a job and it's necessary for him to attend day care or something, he'll more than likely end up having a blast after the initial separation anxiety. My son loves it. Lots of toys, and tons of kids to play with. By the time he gets home, he's pooped, and he's had a lot of fun learning and playing all day. The not listening thing is a problem. Yelling may get his attention in the short term, but it may not offer as many long-term results. It took a ton of patience on my part, but when my little guy acted up at that age or wouldn't listen to no, he'd have to sit down until he was ready to listen. Unfortunately, because two year olds don't like to stay put like you said, this would involve me sitting there gently holding him in place sometimes until he was ready to listen. I wish I had more advice to offer! Two is such a tough age. But i'm sure your kid is perfectly normal and I wouldn't expect problems in the future. YOu just gotta take it day by day. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I THINK this is why it is called 'The Terrible Two's'!!!!! Don't worry, if he gets hungy enough....he'll eat. He's just testing to see how much power he has. There are lots of good web sites which give parenting helps....you may want to search around to see if there are some tricks you haven't thought of yet!! I didn't spank my children very often. In hindsight, I sure wish I had done it more. A stubborn toddler grows up to be a stubborn child....and then OH GAWD....a stubborn teenager. A parent HAS to let them know who is in control! Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Yup, he's trying you alright. My son was into everything when he was two. I had gates to keep him out of certain parts of the house...he would stack his toys and climb on over. As frustrating as it was, I embraced it all too. I knew that everything was a phase, and I also knew and accepted the fact that he was stubborn and intelligent. My son didn't cling to me much...he was independent (like me!). I would just give him as much of your time to assure him of your love. Plan things around him. It will help him develop security issues. I KNOW how frustrating this age is. Ages three to four are pretty trying also. My little boy (whose 9 now) didn't mellow out until he was 5. I have a thing with children of this age being diagnosed are labeled as ADHD...it's natural for them to have the attention span of a fly. Can you engage your son in a movie? Mine wouldn't sit still and let anything televised capture him until he was about 2.5, and even then, he wasn't interested in the typical things at that time (Barney-thank GOD he didn't like that, as they will watch the same thing over, and over, and over, and over). He liked the Muppets, which I think are pretty cool. Same thing with my son with the eating at that age. They are going through autonomy development at these pre school ages where they want to control certain things. I hate to say it, but I would about give up forcing him to eat. That's a lost battle, and it's one that those little guys use alot to gain some sort of control over the adult. The same thing is probably going on with the defiance/authority issues. Time out did NOT work for my son. He would sit there and do anything he could to amuse himself to outwit the punishment to spite me. A good ol' smack on the tail did the trick for him. I agree with Arabess.......those stubborn ones need that. Now that my son is 9, he gets priveleges revoked for misbehaving or not doing what he's told. As these stubborn kids get older, you have to find other ways to be in charge. It's all about that...being in charge while letting them figure themselves out and meeting their needs. All I can say, is being a parent is the toughest job I've ever had! Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 ""All I can say, is being a parent is the toughest job I've ever had!"" Totally in agreement there. I had all of these ideals about what being a parent would be like and how I would act. I love being a parent, but my ideals sure went out the window. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I have a three year old, sounds like yours, all children want their mothers attention all the time and if you constantly give in it will get worse. I am taking a class called "Redirecting childrens behaviors" for the last two weeks It's helping me alot so far. The "Class" says when your children need attention simply look them in the eye acknowledge that they have your undevided attention for a moment and see what they need. ( only takes a second) then respond with I know you want _____ now,but mommie is doing________ in a minute I will help you. ( this takes a couple times before it worked for me.) also, they teach us not to yell or spank ( wich I did plenty of before) but to explain what the child did and punish in other ways. When children misbehave ( I find) they are trying to communicate something to you. My 3 year old is disabled and he misbehaves for the same reasons 'normal kids' do . Your child with ADD can not be treated diffrently because he has it......Try to take a class, I love it You get a break from your kids...and get support from other parents that are raising toddlers. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Your two year old sounds totally normal to me. I am furniture to my toddler, she always prefers to be on Mummy. She started nursey at 1 part time and found it hard for the first couple of months but then she was fine. I'm sure your boy will be too. It's hard if you find the clinging difficult - I don't mind it except when I am trying to get things done. If your boy is just 2 you may not be able to negotiate but if he's old enough do give it a try. Trade some time doing something else for the promise of cuddles on the couch watching a video (or whatever his favourite treat with you is). They are not in this phase for long - enjoy the adoration while it lasts Often conflict over dinner gives them just what they want - attention and a means of asserting their independence. Don't react. Either insist that no pudding arrives until they have eaten some tea (faviurite puds work best) or let him eat what he wants and give him a Vitamin supplement. This too will pass! It is frustrating I know. I have 2 kids and have been far more relaxed with the second. They all turn out OK as long as they are loved - take the long view and when it gets too much seek other mums to help you keep things in perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
gaia Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Your two year old sounds totally normal to me. Me too. I think they're pretty much all like this. If you're going back to work at least you'll get a break - most kids love nursery. Not all of us can do the full time earth mother bit. I would probably have lost my mind if I hadn't gone back to work! Have you tried inviting other mums over with kids the same age - the kids tend to play with each other a bit more then and let you chat. As for fruit and veg, keep trying different stuff, give him small amounts and don't react if he doesn't eat it. When you find something he'll eat, let him eat that - anything's better than nothing. He'll grow out of it - mine has been through more faddy phases than I can remember. Can't help you with the stubbornness I'm afraid - my 4 year old is as stubborn as a mule and I still haven't cracked it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 One of my pediatricians told me that toddlers need only a couple tablespoons of food a day to keep going so try not to let the 'not eating' issue make you crazy. They'll eat when they're hungry and they'll eat what they need. I agree with Gaia on trying different fruits and veggies in small amounts. Try to steer him away from the junk food, especially sugars. Both of my boys were extremely active at this age and the younger one we're currently having tested for ADHD so I know where you're coming from. Pace yourself, realize it's normal and repeat my favorite mantra: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Link to post Share on other sites
DebraLee Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Thank you Thank you Thank you for all of your advise. I have done most of what I was told so I'm more confident now with my punishments, etc. I never thought about the control thing and eating. Duh! I just didn't think about it becuase my 1st never did that to me. My first was very easy. He was independant at this age, not clingy but lovable (hugs and kisses) never threw temper tantrums like Tyler (my 2 year old), and he just ate most all of what I gave him. You would never know it the way he is so skinny now. Tyler is a pretty large kid for 2...figure that? Tyler complains a lot too. He whines, cries repeatedly. I reverted to the swat on the tail. Well, Im going to try to gain some sanity by getting a job landed this week. Maybe that is what we both need anyways. Unfortunately, I know of no one that have kids my age here..not even neighbors.. I tried the play group at the local hospital and everyone was snotty. Not ONE individual acknoledged me or tried to talk. Oh well. Thank you again for all or your help! It means alot to know that its just a phase. Link to post Share on other sites
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