gabby7986 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 ok im a 15 year old girl almost 16 and i really like this guy that is 18 almost 19 he says he really really likes me and wants to be with me he is concernd about his parents they dont want him dating me because he had sex with his last girlfriend that was my age and now there scared if we do anything he could go straight to jail (but i dont plan on having sex) thats all there worried about and hes a really good guy who respects his parents and doesnt want to upset them i really need some advise on what to do i am falling hard for him and nothing i say has changed his mind about it Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 He actually sounds smart. I would respect his decision not to date you, and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gabby7986 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 Thats the problem he wants to date me as much as i want to date him he just wants to respect his parents also Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 IF you were in my state, you'd be legal upon turning 16, so the wise advice if you were here, would be to wait until you're 16 before dating him. "16 and 19" isn't out of bounds, and while it probably limits a girl during her last couple of years of high school, I certainly wouldn't hold any such young woman responsible for understanding that (at the expense of missing out on some attention). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Where are you located. Age of consent is 18 in my state. Silly if you ask me. My boyfriend was 22 when I was 16. We were celibate until I was 18 for the same reason. Most people thought we were crazy to wait. If your boyfriend is willing to wait on sex until you're of age, there really isn't an issue. You can stay friends or in a celibate relationship if you really want to be with this guy if he's willing to wait. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Why can't you just hang out as friends for now? If you two can stay in a decent friend relationship for six months, you can show his parents that you are a good person and they will have time to get to know you. After that, they're more likely to consider the idea. And you still get to spend time with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Where are you located. Age of consent is 18 in my state. Silly if you ask me. My boyfriend was 22 when I was 16. We were celibate until I was 18 for the same reason. Most people thought we were crazy to wait. If your boyfriend is willing to wait on sex until you're of age, there really isn't an issue. You can stay friends or in a celibate relationship if you really want to be with this guy if he's willing to wait. I have new found respect for MCF, to wait 2yrs when you're gf is 16 ... wow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 I have new found respect for MCF, to wait 2yrs when you're gf is 16 ... wow. I was lost for words when I read this. I remember when I was in my Kate teens and went out with someone in his early 20s. He didn't wait for me abd dumped me for being a virgin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I was lost for words when I read this. I remember when I was in my Kate teens and went out with someone in his early 20s. He didn't wait for me abd dumped me for being a virgin. Yes if you are falling for him hard, then you should wait for him considering there is an age difference but still you have to understand where his parents are coming from because they don't want to see their son go to prison for having sex with you because they fear that if you guys do have sex and something bad happens, your parents will try to turn this around and say that he raped you or something Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I am assuming the age of consent is 18 where you are. I was 16 when I met my husband when he was 22. We did wait until I was 18 to have sex, hands down. However, I don't think the majority could wait 2 years unless you're pretty conservative. But if you're getting really serious, it might be hard to abstain from some type of sex. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 In ny I think the age of consent is 17. By age of consent it means that even if you have mutually agreeable sex...if it is with someone over the age of consent it is illegal because the person under 17 is not Able to consent. I only know this because I had to explain it carefully to an 18 year old interested in my daughter recently. He decided the same as your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I have new found respect for MCF, to wait 2yrs when you're gf is 16 ... wow. I don't remember if it was 2 years, but I think it was closer to 18 months of waiting. As they say, the longer you wait to be intimate, the longer the relationship will last. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 ok im a 15 year old girl almost 16 and i really like this guy that is 18 almost 19 he says he really really likes me and wants to be with me he is concernd about his parents they dont want him dating me because he had sex with his last girlfriend that was my age and now there scared if we do anything he could go straight to jail (but i dont plan on having sex) thats all there worried about and hes a really good guy who respects his parents and doesnt want to upset them i really need some advise on what to do i am falling hard for him and nothing i say has changed his mind about it Date him. You two are only 3 1/2 years apart. It's no big deal. In this day and age I've seen 15-16 year old girls running off with men well into their 20s, sometimes 30s. Nothing surprises anyone anymore . Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 You can still be friends, but considering he's 19, I'm not surprised that he doesn't want to hang around. Disappointed too, though, that that is such a common trend with people. It is amazing to me how impatient people can be with waiting. My first boyfriend and I were both 19 and still living with our parents, barely had any privacy. We both had crappy jobs. He knew that I wanted to wait for the right time, and I wanted to be prepared to handle the consequences, etc. He was convinced that I was cheating on him, despite spending so much of my time with him, because I wouldn't sleep with him. -_-' Future husband waited about a year. I was glad that he never pushed me into it, never pried and wanted to know why I wouldn't. He didn't act entitled to sex and respected my decisions, which I've learned is incredibly hard to find in a partner (and I wasn't a minor when we started dating). My advice to you, OP, when you are of the age of consent, even if you BELIEVE you won't have sex: read about birth control on the Planned Parenthood site. Depending on your state, you should be able to purchase condoms and spermicide over the counter without any ID (I'm in Michigan, and I know you can here. No age restrictions). I can buy packs of 30 condoms for $10 here, or a pack of 8 - 12 applications of spermicide for a bit more. And given your age, birth control would almost certainly be free for you if you went to a PP clinic. My household income was $30, $35k a year with 3 people and I was charged $20 a month for my birth control pills (and it eventually dropped down to $17 a month) through Planned Parenthood. Be prepared, even if you think you won't. What's the worst that could happen in that case? "Oops, we weren't going to have sex, but we did. And I'm on the pill, and we had condoms and/or spermicide on hand." Or, worst case scenario if you do but don't plan on it: babies? Yikes. Always use at least 2 forms of birth control every time you have sex: ideally, one should be a condom or some form of hormonal birth control, as those are generally among the cheapest but most effective forms of birth control. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I was 16 1/2 when I met my husband and we waited just over a year, which amazes me now. One of the reasons I started dating him, because he wasn't just eager to get into my pants and be done. He was 22. No you don't want to have to worry about getting into any sexual activity until you are of age. My husband and I worked with someone who was 19 and went to jail for having sex with a 16/17 year old. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 My husband and I worked with someone who was 19 and went to jail for having sex with a 16/17 year old. I'd love to know the true facts about that case. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Many States with age of consent set at 18 also incorporate so called "Romeo and Juliette" clauses for cases like this where both are young but one is technically an adult. I think such clauses are BS but that's a different thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Onpoint Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 This is a no go if I were the father. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 When I was 13 I started dating an 18 years old. We eventually had sex when I was 14, a few month after. Sure, it was not the best relationship ever and the age difference did cause troubles. Age of consent is 16 in my country. So I was younger than that and he was older. My mom was aware of the relationship, as only moms can be and she probably figured out we were intimate, but chalked it up to teens being teens. It kinda happened a lot in my group that we were all dating older guys and noone got into trouble. Still, if it's HIS decision, then you have to respect him. My ex from that time also broke up with me after about 8 months because we couldn't be really public due to all the looks and judgement we got... And I have to respect that even if I thought it was BS at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts