brandonmedlock Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I have a 2 1/2 year old son with my ex wife. Divorced since December 2011. She has started asking me to have our son call on the days I have him. I have no problem with this at all, but it seems now she is wanting to talk to him at the times i'm at work or late in the evening when he is sleeping. Also she has me watch him on her days when she is working, and expects me to give up one of my days since she gave me one of hers. Now I don't have to legally I know, but I'm not sure how to approach these situations without her flipping out. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Try to work it out between the two of you rather than have the courts choose for you. Wanting to wake a child routinely, to talk doesn't sound very motherly. This sounds like a new request, so you have to ask yourself; "what has changed in her life or yours"? Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Boundaries are your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Three things to ask yourself: 1: Would this benefit the child and if so how? 2: Is this a temporary change ? If its permanent, then seek counsel to modify if both sides wish. 3: Contingent on the age of the child...This too plays apart on how it affacts them. Co-parenting is challenging...compromising when need be and setting boundaries for one another as the childs parent can have its pitfalls as described above. I personally found that seeking counsel aided for those times when oral communication would lead to arguements. If its in writing and agreed...then its worth following. Link to post Share on other sites
MarinaEversole Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Are there moments when you wish you had a spare pair of comfortable flip flops in your bag ??? That's what Salvatos are for! Made for you, they will follow you everywhere you go and wait for the moment you will need a rescue... DON'T GIVE UP ON DOING THE THINGS YOU LOVE! Just put SALVATOS foldable flip flops in your bag and forget about ever saying "NO" when all you really want to say is "YES" ! Salvatos Revolutionary Patented Folding Flip Flops Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 First: Make sure this is all about the child, not about "winning" (for both of you) or messing with each other. As to the two issues at hand. . . At any rate, it seems reasonable that she cannot speak with your child when he's asleep or when you're at work and cannot facilitate the call. I would suggest just discussing that with her, and the reasons why, and saying you're happy to have a call take place - just need to be respectful of your and son's schedule. As to the work switching thing, if she truly is working and has you cover for parenting and misses out on her time with your son, I would suggest some reasonable flexibility. It's best for your son to spend sufficient time with both parents, so working around her work schedule sometimes and switching days seems like the "good parenting" thing to do, assuming nothing odd is going on. After all, work is something she actually HAS to do. I think it's hard to see past the post-divorce anger and bitterness sometimes (for both parties) so make sure you try to see things, always, through the guise of what's best for your son and try to encourage her to do the same. Waking your son up for a phone call probably isn't what's best, no. But neither is being so rigid on days that he misses out on significant time with his Mom when she can't help her work schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 She has started asking me to have our son call on the days I have him. I have no problem with this at all, but it seems now she is wanting to talk to him at the times i'm at work or late in the evening when he is sleeping. Simply tell her what time to call if she wants to speak with him. Don't let her restrict your time with your son. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 If she wants to talk to your son (2.5 years old) while you are at work, does she expect the babysitter or child-care provider to facilitate this call? Or do you have him there with you at work? I am actually wondering if this is an attempt to speak to YOU, rather than your son. Who initiated divorce proceedings, and how do you both feel about the actual divorce now that it is legalized? Link to post Share on other sites
StripeyShirt Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Does she have a history of "flipping out" when you discuss parenting issues? I would make email your friend. Send her an email devoid of emotion, requesting that you suggest A), B) or C) and ask for her comments. If she flips out, just take the bits out of it that you can discuss and dont engage with any of the other garbage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brandonmedlock Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 If she wants to talk to your son (2.5 years old) while you are at work, does she expect the babysitter or child-care provider to facilitate this call? Or do you have him there with you at work? I am actually wondering if this is an attempt to speak to YOU, rather than your son. Who initiated divorce proceedings, and how do you both feel about the actual divorce now that it is legalized? She knows my schedule very well. 9 times out of 10 I'm at work when she wants to talk to him. My mom watches him while I'm at work. If he is asleep when she calls my mom to talk him my mom won't wake him up. So she gets upset and feels she should have him if I can't watch him. BUT on her days with him Monday and Tuesdays during the day my mom watches him. So why is that she feels the need to possibly take me back to court to adjust visitation because my mom watches him on my days while I'm at work but on her days my mom watches him while she is at work? I do all the transfers of our son, not my mom. Also, now she tells me yesterday while doing the transfer that I need to have our son stop saying the word "crazy". She says that he called a guy "crazy" at the pet store, and she was embarrassed. And so she has twisted this around to be my fault that he is saying this word. I told her to lighten up, and I will watch for it in the future. She then called me a A**hole, and I'm thinking how is it appropriate to call me that and expect to tell our son not to say the word "crazy"? Am I missing something here? She said she wants to teach him right from wrong, and that I let him run the show and that's not parenting. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Just keep acting in dignity and logic; don't lower to her depths and she'll eventually figure out you won't go there with her. As for time, if she asks you to watch, preface it with "Sure, I'll be glad to. But I won't be trading my own scheduled time. Your choice." Link to post Share on other sites
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