Jump to content

Out of Control feelng that is making me feel very sick. !!!


Recommended Posts

I will just get right to it ,

 

I have a baby girl that is 9.5 months old, I am a kinship home for this child, (she was taken away from the mother at birth due to drug use durning pregnancy) . I have has her since she was 5 weeks old and I am really attached to her as well my olderkids are as well. This was all done with the mother there and signing temp care over to me as she was going to get her life back on track and regain this child. The mother was doing amazingly well , She was doing all of her programs and completing them even when they got hard for her to do, She was some what thinking of her little one through this, I say some what because she hardly came to see her, she lied a lot to the workers and our friends (we have been friends for over 20 years) she would make times to come here and not show up. There seemed to always be a reason not to come and if she could not face talking to me she would just not show up to see her. I thank god that happened when the child was to young to even care. Well lately she has went back to her old ways of using so she has not seen her daughter in 2 months. They were looking for Feb that the baby goes back to the mom to live so the mother has lost her now.

I am so worried because nothing has been said to me of what is going to happen and when I call them all I hear is that they are finalizing things and will call me back. It has been a a long week for me because I do not know what to expect . I do not know if they are going to keep her here with us or remove her. the only reaso I would think that they would remove her would be

1- Mother lives 2 blocks away from me

2- Father is getting out of jail and he has a toxic past

 

I really can not see them removing her from me due to anything I am doing at all because I am on track and following the rules of this agreement. But I am still in panic of not knowing. I am still wanting to call them everyday to say what is happening, I have to stop myself from doing that because I do not want to seem to overbearing to them however on the other hand they need to be reminded that there are people here and they should have enough respect to at least say yes she is staying or no she is not. I am sure that they know what is happening.

How do I deal with this feeling of being so out of control of something so close to me ? I honestly feel like I am going to get sick all day when I think of it, and I can not stop thinking of it as well . I feel messed up with this all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Hi , Here is the update ,

 

We had the visit with the workers , They asked me lots of questions and I got really no answers from them at all except for they can't tell me anything because they do not know. I said well you are aware that I do have kids in this house and please give me warning if you do remove her .

They told me that they thought that the mother and I would start to talk again and I said there is no way that will happen as it goes against what my personal values and morals are. They are going to do a surprize visit on the mother ( I do not think that is going to happen as they said this before and they did not). I gave them her new cell phone number and they have not even called her (gave them that within the last 1.5 months)

They did ask me if I still wanted to adopt if the mothers right are taken away and I said of course I do, I do not want this child to be surfing homes in foster care. They got all the information for this and took it to the office.

I told them that I will do what I need to do in order to get this done as well. I asked them to put my name on the list to get me licenced as a foster home.

I'm busting myself all over the place here and I get no answers , I think that it is so unfair on everyone involved. I sit here all the time just not knowing what to expect next. Hardly do they do what they say they are going to be doing, at the most it seems like just words to me and that is it.

It seems out of this world that kids in foster care get treated like this . They are wantng to do what is best for the child, The bio mom is using a lot now she is in full party mode all the time calling all over the place to try and score and they said they have to ask her first . I do believe that actions do speek louder then words do here and her actions shows and tells she does not want to be a mother to this child as well. It's hard given that she only lives a few blocks away from me and when I walk out of my house I her her apt. It's hard to stay calm and okay with everything .

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...