how would you feel?

[Brooke24]

Ok, so this is my second time posting here and the first time I got some good advice:) This post is not about my child but about me. So... it all started when my mother met her last husband, I was 10. He and I became very close and when I was 13 he decided that he wanted to adopt me:) Of course I was all for it being that I had never really had a good father, so he did (adopt me) He was a pretty good dad for much of my teen years, but when I was 19 he and my mother went through a horrible divorce. They both pitted me against one another and wanted me to chose sides... of course I tried not to tell either one of them anything for fear that one of them would get mad at me. When I was 20 I married my husband and became pregnant with our daughter, I spoke to my father on and off throughout my pregnancy but he never seemed concerned with me or the baby, it was all about what my mother was doing or saying. About a month before I gave birth my father went to my mother's office and acted like a child and tried to get her fired so I was very angry with him. I didn't call him when I had my daughter and he finally saw her when she was 8 weeks old for about 30 minutes. So, 2 and a half years pass and he does not call me even once (I tried to call him a few times but he never answered) one day I decided that I was willing to start fresh with him and give him another try so I called him and he answered. We went out to dinner and he seemed very happy to see me and my daughter. We spoke on the phone quite frequently for the next few months and I thougt everything was going well. We didn't get to see each other much because he is constantly traveling for business. A few weeks before Christmas I decided that I would cook a dinner for my little family and invite my father so that he would not be alone (he doesen't have much family) he agreed that it was a good idea and so we picked a date. The day before the dinner I called him and he said that he was sick and that we would have to reschedule. I called him a week later and he was already accross the country again for work, he told me that the minute he came back that we would have our dinner... 6 months later we still hadn't had our dinner. I got over it. Then... my birthday came and went and he didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday. The final straw was when the town that we live in was devastated by a tordado and he never even called me to make sure that we made it through it (I knew he was fine because he was again traveling for work) , I waited 2 weeks and still nothing so I decided to email my half sister (his daughter from another marriage) I asked her if he had called to check on her to make sure she was ok and she said yes of course he did! That absolutely broke my heart that he didn't even care enough to make sure I was still alive... am I overreacting?

[cmh2002]

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I would try my best to not even think about him or contact him unless you feel the need for some closure. If you feel the need for some closure I would wait until you are calm and talk to him.

 

My kids have a step dad and I would be crushed as well as my kids would be if him and I divorced and he chose to cut them out of his life. He has been in their lives for the past 4 yrs. My kids were almost 4 and almost 6 when him and I got together and we have a now 3yr old daughter together. My kids don't have a relationship with their birth dad due to his poor decisions, so they look to their step dad as their dad.