pregnant ex-boyfriend wants custody will he get it???

[nikky863863]

I just had a questioned if anyone might know anything about custody. I am 5 months pregnant and am not with the babys father. I have had alot of problems with this man in the past, when he first found out i was pregnant he didn't take it so well and wanted me to have an abortion, then i left him when he threw me to the ground when he was drunk. Well now that i am no longer with him he lives with his mother, and always wants to know what is going on in my life and how the baby is well i stopped speaking to him got a temporary protection from abuse order on him so he can not have any contact with me. Well thats worked so far but before he told me he was going to take me to court and get joint custody. The entire time i have been pregnant he has done nothing to help me or prepare to be a father.

i am with a very nice man now that wants to take care of me and this baby and i really just dont want to be bothered by the babys biological father. So i was wondering how that works if i have to let him sign the birth certificate?? What rights he might have??

[cdn]

As the baby's father, your ex-boyfriend has rights. He will at least be granted visitation and possibly joint custody, especially if you cannot show legal cause why he should not. In my state, for instance, joint custody is the norm unless one parent is found unfit, which is mighty hard to prove legally. He may also be ordered to pay child support, or you may be (depending on your custody arrangement and financial situations). I really think you need to talk to a lawyer since the laws concerning this vary greatly from place to place and many factors influence judge's decisions.

 

By the way, if you choose not to identify your bf on the birth certificate, he can still have himself recognized as the father (through DNA testing, if need be).

[ArdeaCandidissima]

You need competent legal advice to help you keep the bio-father out of your life. If you cannot afford a private lawyer, please check with Legal Aid, social workers, or other sources.

[Bubbles]

Nikky,

 

What a feeble attempt this man is making at controlling your life.......still! JERK! Unless you are a drug or alcohol abuser, criminal or legally insane, it is very rare that ANY Judge would grant custody to the father.

 

Call a few Lawyers in the phone book, normally a "consultation" is free, so schedule an appointment with a few lawyers and I am confident that they will tell you the same as I just have. You also need to take pen in hand and write down all of your "experiences" with this man. Put a date to everything if at all possible. Everything must be written down in detail. As far as the "birth certificate" I don't think you have to give the father's name. Or at least I don't think you have to......you should check on this at your local hospital.

 

Please take my advise, I have been through exactly the same as you when I broke up with my childrens father. He swore he was going to take the kids away from me.....but when I spoke to a lawyer his quote to me was this:

 

"many men use this statement as a feeble attempt to continue controlling your life. He has obviously shaken you with this statement so therefore he feels he has "control" but what he doesn't know is that his chances are as good as snowballs chance in hell! In other words.......no chance at all!"

 

Nikki, you are the Mother.....be proud.......be strong.......find strength in the fact that you must do what you can to protect your unborn child. If in the near future you feel that he has made an honest attempt to be in the childs life then you make your decision then. Do not fall to the ground ready to be trampled on by his feet.

 

Remember....any man can help make a baby.....it takes a "Real Man" to Father a child!

 

Good luck to both of you, may God be watching over you everyday,

 

Bubbles

[lipglossboost]

As the baby's father, he does have rights, how much depending on the laws in your state. He will probably not get joint physical custody, but that does not mean he will not be granted visitation and ordered to pay child support.

 

If he has been abusive and that is on record, that will certainly count against him. Most states will not allow a parent to terminate rights unless someone else steps in to adopt the child. If the man you are with now is willing to take on that responsibility, (meaning if you two break up, *he* will then be responsible for supporting a child that is physically not his own,) it is possible the judge may terminate the father's rights.

 

It depends very much on the state you live in, the father's attitude and your situation. Does he know he will have to pay child support for the next 18 years? Is he willing to take that on, or is he just doing this to be vicious to you?