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Sleep deprivation and new baby


tinktronik

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tinktronik

Alright mommies, I am 3 1/2 weeks in with Baby E and I have not had more than 50 mins of uninterrupted sleep since she was born. I am starting to lose it.

 

Baby is nursing and does mini sleep, sleep for 40 or 50 mins, eat off and on for 50 mins, stare and startle and flail around for 20 mins and then back to sleep; sometime in there we get a diappy change. In her defense she is quite gassy and having some reflux issues and the drops and gripe water don't seem to help much. Burping her is not helping much either.

 

Last night I fed her at 2:30 and we worked at that for a while, around 3 I just could not do it anymore. I set up her swing and the damn batteries were dead, I started to cry, I went and tried to wake up daddy and he wouldn't wake. I flipped on his light and yelled at him until he was awake. So in effect I am at the end of where my body can physically keep up with Baby's sleeplessness. What do I do? Help!

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donnamaybe

Have you talked with your doc about the gas? Has he/she told you what not to eat while you're breastfeeding? Like onions, for example? And chocolate?

 

Also, if baby starts to doze while breastfeeding, chances are she isn't getting enough, so she wakes up too quicly from being hungry. Keep gently waking her and get her to fill up so she won't wake so quickly once she does go down for a nap. I found I just got naps as I could when my babies were really young, and their naps grew longer and longer as they got older and I got them on a good feeding schedule.

 

I'm sorry you're having troubles when you just want to enjoy this time. Things will even out. :)

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tinktronik
Have you talked with your doc about the gas? Has he/she told you what not to eat while you're breastfeeding? Like onions, for example? And chocolate?

 

Also, if baby starts to doze while breastfeeding, chances are she isn't getting enough, so she wakes up too quicly from being hungry. Keep gently waking her and get her to fill up so she won't wake so quickly once she does go down for a nap. I found I just got naps as I could when my babies were really young, and their naps grew longer and longer as they got older and I got them on a good feeding schedule.

 

I'm sorry you're having troubles when you just want to enjoy this time. Things will even out. :)

I have cut out all of the no-nos from my diet to eliminate gas.

 

Baby dose doze and that's why it takes almost an hour to get her fed, she falls asleep, I jiggle her, I mess with her feet and hands, I use a cold tolwlette to wake her, we re-latch and off we go for another 8 mins, then I jiggle her... ect.

 

My SO says let her be upset and skip a meal so she'll be hungry enough to feed well at the next one. Maybe we will try this today.

 

I'm back working during the day so there is not a lot of opportunity for naps then but if I don't get some sleep I'm just going to fall over.

 

This will pass, I know but man I'm a mess right now.

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tinktronik
I feel for ya! But what a beautiful girl you have! :love:

 

I love her too.

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donnamaybe

It was quite a rush of feeling, wasn't it, when she was first in your arms? Nothing like it! :)

 

Well, I hope someone else weighs in and has some sound advice for you.

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TaraMaiden

supplement feed her. It sounds as if breast is best - but just not enough.

 

Have her stomach examined. She may not be digesting properly, if her pyloric sphincter is partially malfunctioning. happened with my G'son. Simple procedure to rectify.... if that's the case, that is....

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tinktronik
It was quite a rush of feeling, wasn't it, when she was first in your arms? Nothing like it! :)

 

Well, I hope someone else weighs in and has some sound advice for you.

 

It was indeed quite the feeling. I hope someone can tell me how to get baby on a schedule that works. My boys just had an easier time nursing and slept a lot more and a lot more soundly that baby E. This is like doing it for the first time.

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donnamaybe
It was indeed quite the feeling. I hope someone can tell me how to get baby on a schedule that works. My boys just had an easier time nursing and slept a lot more and a lot more soundly that baby E. This is like doing it for the first time.

Interesting! My girl was more difficult than my boys as well! MUCH more needy too! Hmmm...... :D

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laRubiaBonita

what about pumping and having someone else (SO) do feeding so you can get some rest?

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Oh honey, I did this. All of it, for 7 months. You have been given good advice regarding the baby.

 

Thing is, it can be a long road to figure it out and meanwhile you need sleep. You have GOT TO HAVE IT.

 

It needs to be made a priority. Someone else has to help. If not every day then every other. You at least need to know a few times a week that you are going to be able to get 5 or 6 hours straight until this is solved. During the day or at night. Otherwise, its downhill.

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tinktronik
supplement feed her. It sounds as if breast is best - but just not enough.

 

Have her stomach examined. She may not be digesting properly, if her pyloric sphincter is partially malfunctioning. happened with my G'son. Simple procedure to rectify.... if that's the case, that is....

 

I think I'm at the verge of breaking and just giving her formula. It tends to be heavier and takes longer to digest so I could maybe get a 3 hour run of sleep from her, which would be a huge difference. The lactation specialists all sway you to not use any formula at all but I don't know at this point.

 

I will ask her docs this week at her check-up about pyloric sphincter and see if that could be the cause. Thank you.

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tinktronik
what about pumping and having someone else (SO) do feeding so you can get some rest?

 

This is something I would LOVE to do... It's just that she feeds so often that there is no time to pump between feedings. As soon as I get her down it seems she's back up.

 

Last night I had her on one breast and was desperately trying to pump the other before she was ready to switch but could not get simultaneous let down to happen. I have a huge abundance of milk, for pete's sake the stuff sprays out all over the place day and night, but the minute I get the pump going it shuts itself off. Early days... early days.

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tinktronik
Oh honey, I did this. All of it, for 7 months. You have been given good advice regarding the baby.

 

Thing is, it can be a long road to figure it out and meanwhile you need sleep. You have GOT TO HAVE IT.

 

It needs to be made a priority. Someone else has to help. If not every day then every other. You at least need to know a few times a week that you are going to be able to get 5 or 6 hours straight until this is solved. During the day or at night. Otherwise, its downhill.

 

You're right. I'm like a drunk person wobbling around the house. I do have to sleep and sleep solid for a long stretch. My SO has his own bedroom right now and I get so mad at him because he sleeps so deep and is impossible to wake or he will wake and tell me he will be right there and never show up and then the next day he says how tired he is. BLAHCHHHHHH. He does not know tired.

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laRubiaBonita

how about doing some formulat... enough to get you reserves up enough and try to pump.

 

see if you can pump while you are feeding to try and fool you body into think that she is BF.... i don't know if that would work.... but hey- it's a worth a try!

 

:bunny::love::bunny::love::bunny::love: bunny love to you tired momma!

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I suggest formula! I know it is not what the specialists recommend, but they're not the ones living with a baby who won't sleep more than 50 mins at a time.

 

My daughter was like yours. She is now almost 8 (thank goodness!). When I started supplementing formula with a bottle she screamed like a banshee and rejected it. So I go a little syringe that is used to give babies medicine and I used that to feed her formula while sucking on my finger. Worked wonders!

 

Good luck. Things will get better!

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TaraMaiden
I think I'm at the verge of breaking and just giving her formula. It tends to be heavier and takes longer to digest so I could maybe get a 3 hour run of sleep from her, which would be a huge difference. The lactation specialists all sway you to not use any formula at all but I don't know at this point.

 

I will ask her docs this week at her check-up about pyloric sphincter and see if that could be the cause. Thank you.

 

When my youngest daughter was born at home, she showed a small cleft in her soft palate.

This was minor, but feeding her was a real ordeal. It would take two hours to breast feed her, and the wind she took down was vast, so projectile vomiting was a given. I'm not kidding, three or four feet....

 

I was getting severely distressed at simply not having enough milk for her, because she needed little and often, and I was getting really sore....

When the midwife visited me that morning, she disappeared out of the room for a few minutes - and came back with a bottle of formula milk.

 

"Here you are dearie - go with this. I'd rather see a happy mum and a peaceful baby, on formula, than a tired distressed mummy and a hungry baby on breast milk, any day of the week!"

 

SHE suggested it, I went with it - and got the best night's sleep that night, I'd had for ages.

Really - Formula is not defeatist. It helps you, helps the baby and you can alternate her with breast milk as you'll have time to calmly express when you need to....

 

Please - go with formula. Both my girls ended up on formula, and have never suffered any ill-effects. Quite the contrary!

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Oh I feel for you. Been there, done that and suffered. My first baby had colic for months and no-one could help. To be honest, I was so tired and desperate I got sick and tired of the soppy, earth-mother types suggesting I take care of what I eat (in case it was upsetting her tummy), that I nap in the afternoon, that I be calm and reassuring, that we have a strict routine, and ... you name it, all sorts of advice from well-meaning mothers who hadn't been through it. My baby was not interested in all this advice and cried and kept me awake every night for months. I do wonder now whether a supplementary bottle feed might have helped. I didn't resort to it at the time because I was convinced it was the wrong thing to do. I really don't know. I still feel quite angry at the advice I was given as I felt people had no idea what I was going through - quite simply it was torture!

 

Now that my baby is grown, I know there are problems with what seems to be an over-sensitive nervous system. Lights, noise, people, pressure, everything affects my grown-up child badly. We have all had to adjust to this and it was a long time before medical professionals really accepted there was a problem. My adult child is getting help now and may have a mild form of autism. It explains a lot. If I'd known there was a nervous system problem ages ago, I could have had understanding help and support. As I said, I feel angry now that I was made to feel like I must be doing something wrong when my baby just wouldn't settle. Instead, my baby appeared to get more and more wound up, despite all my efforts, and just didn't respond normally. Yours may eventually settle with all the standard advice - and I would certainly give that a go - but don't blame yourself if it doesn't work. Firstly make sure your baby has had enough food (if possible) and don't feel bad if you resort to formula. Secondly, if an over-sensitive nervous system is making things more difficult for you, I have the following suggestions:

 

- try not to have too much noise, bright lights, colours around when trying to calm your baby

- handle her gently, quietly and talk softly and calmly to her/him (I should think you are doing this anyway but I just mention it). Even a slightly raised voice upset my child and two people talking at once was too much - my adult child can only cope with brief periods of light/noise without becoming irrational

- try not to raise your voice or allow others to do so nearby (hard, I know, when you are desperate, frustrated and shattered)

- try to keep every interaction with the baby peaceful and calming, no jerky movements, no objects suddenly brought near her - imagine that movement, noise and light/colour all the same time might be too much (I know it sounds extreme but my child was reacting with panic to just about everything that impacted on the senses)

- do not expect him/her to interact with you too much, even if they seem to demand attention a lot of the time. My child demanded more attention because she/he was panicking and reacting to sensory stimulii - by giving more attention or getting the child to talk/play (thinking she/he needed attention) he/she was getting even more overwhelmed. What they needed was gentle, calming reassurance and a progressively non-stimulating environment

 

I know the above will sound weird and the last thing you might feel like it being calm, but the idea is to minimise any assault on his/her senses. I could not tell what was upsetting my baby as everything seemed normal around her but even normal noise and light was too much for the baby. This may only give you slight relief from the stress, but it may help somewhat. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job as you are working too. It really sounds too much for one person to cope with. I got to the stage where I felt incredibly angry with the baby and I guess I still feel angry that no-one really understood why my baby was so difficult and gave me proper support while dealing with that. I feel sad that you are having such a tough time and I hope it gets better soon. Feel free to message me if you think it might help.

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what about pumping and having someone else (SO) do feeding so you can get some rest?

 

 

 

I think I'm at the verge of breaking and just giving her formula. It tends to be heavier and takes longer to digest so I could maybe get a 3 hour run of sleep from her, which would be a huge difference. The lactation specialists all sway you to not use any formula at all but I don't know at this point.

 

I will ask her docs this week at her check-up about pyloric sphincter and see if that could be the cause. Thank you.

 

My midwife is a lactation consultant and she advised me to top up with formula when I was having some feeding issues. she also advised pumping and getting H to do the 10pm feed so I could go to bed earlier. Or using formula if I could't pump enough. She was a big breastfeeding advocate but she was also realistic and kind, I remember her telling me that formula was far better than a hungry baby and a stressed out mother.

 

 

My routine was 3 hourly feeds, and I had to top up with formula to get into the routine and it took about six weeks I think. we weren't overly strict with specific times apart from the bedtime one bath feed bed by 7pm in a darkened room and no stimulation (lights, etc) during the night feeds.

 

I also ate everything and it didn't end up being a problem.

 

Good luck, it will pass even if it doesn't feel like it ever will!

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Cute baby!

 

Maybe it is to do with your diet? Or you need more time off work to develop a new balance?

 

I found my daughters were addicted to the smell of the breast milk and wanted really to be close to me more than feed. So I would wash my breasts after feeding and change my top. The absence of the smell helped them to settle into a more regular pattern.

 

I only managed 10 weeks each time and supplemented with the bottle because I was not great at eating enough to produce the milk. The breast pump helped a lot and I found that I got into a pattern but the whole thing was really exhausting.

 

Never again..

 

Take care,

Eve x

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tinktronik

We gave a bottle (formula) at 2am and she slept in until about 5:20. It was fantastic. I also managed to pump 4 ounces today and took a quickie nap while daddy feed her. So 2am is daddy's bottle time for a while until we get her on more spread out feeding. I'm going to try a lot of the suggestions.

 

Eve, I think you clued me into something here. I'm covered in milk (even pads don't stop it) and baby wants to eat if she even hears my voice. I will try showering after feedings and changing clothes.

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pureinheart
Alright mommies, I am 3 1/2 weeks in with Baby E and I have not had more than 50 mins of uninterrupted sleep since she was born. I am starting to lose it.

 

Baby is nursing and does mini sleep, sleep for 40 or 50 mins, eat off and on for 50 mins, stare and startle and flail around for 20 mins and then back to sleep; sometime in there we get a diappy change. In her defense she is quite gassy and having some reflux issues and the drops and gripe water don't seem to help much. Burping her is not helping much either.

 

Last night I fed her at 2:30 and we worked at that for a while, around 3 I just could not do it anymore. I set up her swing and the damn batteries were dead, I started to cry, I went and tried to wake up daddy and he wouldn't wake. I flipped on his light and yelled at him until he was awake. So in effect I am at the end of where my body can physically keep up with Baby's sleeplessness. What do I do? Help!

 

Your baby is beautiful!!!!!!!! Congratulations!

 

Ok...I've not read any of the responses, so forgive me if this is a repeat:) My baby is 31 so it has been awhile....he was a pill though, that I'll never forget. I nursed also, and he had colic and cried constantly and it didn't seem like he ever slept, so therefore, niether did I.

 

After 4 weeks I was insane and had to quit nursing, as my milk was not satisfying him. After that I think he calmed down a bit with the formula...I want to add that he was teething and had already cut his two front teeth at two weeks, which added to his discomfort (and mine).

 

After throwing up for the whole nine months and not sleeping two weeks prior to labor, then 24 hours of labor and twelve of it second stage...let's just say, I can totally relate to you and your baby.

 

I am totally into herbs and used a lot of herbal remedies for teething (my grandmother told me to rub whiskey on his gums) and restlessness.

 

I know all of the doctors say not to give solid food to babies until they are older...when my son was a baby it was a year...sorry, but my kid was hungry, so I put Gerbers Cereal in his formula when he was three weeks old and cut a bigger hole in the nipple...then after a couple of weeks of the cereal I started him on fruits and veggies all through a bottle.

 

Congratulations once again...:)

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