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ex want's joint cusody


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My son is 3 yrs old and has medical problems. Meanwhile his father walks in and out of his life when he see's fit and decides he can't " handle" the many medical problems/ decisions my son has. Well we are still going through a visitation/ cusody fight in court and he stated in last meidation that he would like Joint cusody of our son. I don't think he deserves it! He can't communicate with our son, He can't support him, and every time my son's in the hospital his father decides to do drugs to deal with the stress!! I on the other hand will say I am a Dammed good mother and am there for my son morning, noon, and night and always will be! Well, the meidator and many lawyers here in Florida have stressed that it is very hard to get Sole cusody of a child. And I don't understand why I deserve it! He's my life!! I will not give my son to any person ( father or not) that is not sutible to take care of him. And still the " law" want's my to grant joint cusody to an irresponsible person. I just don't understand this Cusody crap! I don't think I am going to win!! and that scare's me. I feel like everyone's telling me to give up and grant him joint cusody but I just can't do it !has anyone been in this situation?

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My understanding (having gotten a divorce here in South Florida roughly 10 years ago) is that the courts almost always grant joint custody but that one parent is the "residential" parent. In my case, this means that although my ex technically has joint custody, our kids live with me and I make the majority of decisions concerning their lives.

 

Do you have a lawyer? I think you need one. And I would be very leery of mediation as I have not heard of very many good outcomes from it. Can you document the times your ex has abandoned your son and/or turned to drugs? Can you get any of your son's doctors to out in writing the need for your son to have a single, stable home environment? The less emotion and more fact you have at your disposal, the better. But start with a good lawyer.

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  • 5 weeks later...

When I was divorced, mediation was a lot of help. I think it depends on the mediator and how much the parents want to work things out.

 

We had joint custody, but I was residential parent. He has visitation, etc. but I make decisions and have control (most of it, anyway) of what goes on. I also agree you should talk to a lawyer about what joint custody means for you.

 

Have you considered other extended family members? How about grandparents - are his involved with the children in a positive manner. In my opinion, the more loving adults there are to raise children, the better it is for them!

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surley if he that bad parent then cant u go for the father visiting but only with another responsible adult there? if u worried about the drugs and stuff then he is not a fit person to have your son alone?

 

You should get full custody and him jus accomponyed visitation rights?

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You're just going to have to present the judge with reason to believe that this child's best interest in staying in your custody. Usually, judge's favor the mother, but if your ex has a good lawyer, it might be difficult. Just get you a good lawyer too and fight, girl!! You know you deserve your son, and your ex is proabably just doing it to get back at you. Just get you some good evidence that will convince the judge.

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