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Imitation is the best form of flattery (or so they say)


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I have two daughters aged 8 and 18 months. The baby imitates everything I do while the older one imitates everything I say. Actually, the baby will also try to repeat what I say, but isn't always successful or clear. This is very daunting considering what I say or do will then be repeated in the worst possible situations.

 

 

Any thoughts or ideas on how to be mostly perfect around them? No one is perfect as my 8 year old loves to tell me, but I feel that I need to be somewhat "perfect" when they're at this learning stage. I never thought too much about this when the 8 year old was younger, but now that I have two at different learning ranges it has become more apparent to me. Thanks!

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Originally posted by Thor

 

Any thoughts or ideas on how to be mostly perfect around them? No one is perfect as my 8 year old loves to tell me, but I feel that I need to be somewhat "perfect" when they're at this learning stage. I never thought too much about this when the 8 year old was younger, but now that I have two at different learning ranges it has become more apparent to me. Thanks!

 

The best way to set a good example for your kids is to live according to your own principles. So if, for example, you don't want your kids cursing a blue streak, you obviously feel that it's better to express oneself without resorting to vulgar language. So stick to your principle as much as you can. If you work in a place where cursing is common, you can at least curb yourself a bit, and be sure to turn off the cursing "switch" when you get home. Don't curse at home IF you feel that such language is inappropriate in a home. Regardless of whether or not there are kids there.

 

But if you're not particularly bothered about cursing, and it's an ingrained part of your speech, I think there's little point in trying to be "perfect" in front of your kids -- you'd be basically putting on a show for them, and kids can see right through that. Kids also hear things you don't think they do, so your effort to shield them from foul language would probably fail anyway.

 

Just using the language thing as an example, since you weren't more specific about what you do that you think is objectionable. Basically you should be as honest as you can with your kids. You've got to believe what you're promoting. If you smoke and dont' want your kids to smoke, make it clear that you actually think that smoking is bad and you don't want to expose them to it -- so restrict your smoking to outside the house. It's not about being "perfect" -- never letting a four-letter word slip out of your mouth, etc. It's about having a clear-cut set of principles that you follow as consistently as you can. That's what your kids will pick up on.

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Those were great suggestions. It's very clear to me that all kids (not just my own) are very perceptive to what is in their environment. I will definitely make it a point to practice what I preach.

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