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Could they be using my son?


sugarmomma

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My son who is 18 has been dating a mexican female for 2 years who is also 18. She was born here but her parents were not. Her parents speak virtually no english and the father is a mechanic and the mother stays home.

 

Since the parents were not born here, doesn't that mean that the daughter is also an illegal citizen? I heard that even if the daughter was born here she still would not be able to apply for citizenship until she turns 18 but it would be quicker being pregnant by a us citizen.

 

Someone was also telling me that the daughter getting pregnant could be a plan so that the entire family can become us citizens. Since once the baby is born she can apply for public aid and child support while she still lives with her parents which would help the process of citizenship.

 

Is this possible? I am just trying to make sure my son isn't being used. He really cares for this girl.

 

Anybody that is familiar with how these laws work I would really appreciate it.

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Any person born inside US borders is a US citizen, so the daughter is already a US citizen. This may be difficult to prove if her parents did not go to a hospital and there is no birth certificate. If citizenship is a concern, they need to start the process of getting documentation now.

 

Tell your son to use birth control. There is plenty of time to have children when they are financially and emotionally ready.

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Kiki is correct - anyone born in the US is automatically a citizen. If her parents don't have her birth certificate, they can get one through the Bureau of Vital Statistics in their state. If they're lying about her birth, then that's a whole other issue. But I don't think the girl's citizenship has anything to do with her parent's citizenship, regardless of her dependency, especially since she's an adult. I could be wrong about this, though.

 

Unfortunately a lot of girls like this get pregnant in order to entrap a man. I know someone who is married to such a person. They now have 3 kids and most of the time, he'd like to run away. It's usually not so much about citizenship as it is about latching on to the man they want to be with because having kids and being married is often their only objective. If this girl fits that category, then you've got a problem. But since they've made it this long without getting pregnant, that's a good sign. Still your son would do better to go off to college instead of risking having a child at his age. What are his plans for the future? Have you talked to him about the possibility of her getting pregnant and what that might do to him?

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Kiki is correct - anyone born in the US is automatically a citizen. If her parents don't have her birth certificate, they can get one through the Bureau of Vital Statistics in their state. If they're lying about her birth, then that's a whole other issue. But I don't think the girl's citizenship has anything to do with her parent's citizenship, regardless of her dependency, especially since she's an adult. I could be wrong about this, though.

 

Unfortunately a lot of girls like this get pregnant in order to entrap a man. I know someone who is married to such a person. They now have 3 kids and most of the time, he'd like to run away. It's usually not so much about citizenship as it is about latching on to the man they want to be with because having kids and being married is often their only objective. If this girl fits that category, then you've got a problem. But since they've made it this long without getting pregnant, that's a good sign. Still your son would do better to go off to college instead of risking having a child at his age. What are his plans for the future? Have you talked to him about the possibility of her getting pregnant and what that might do to him?

 

He admitted to me that they were using protection and made a decision to not. If she did this to try to trap him, she has to deal with the consequences of that since we know that a baby won't necessarily keep a man around. As a result, he has a problem. He is going to college and has started the application process.

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Are you sure the parents haven't already applied for citizenship ? They have been here for at least 18 years ??

 

If they haven't do they have a green card or are they here without one ?

 

Also.. if your son does in turn get her pregnant what would you think he will do ?

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Your son is an adult. Let him live his life as he sees fit. He will make mistakes along the way, but he will also do some things that will make you proud. Ultimately, it's his life. You've done all you can.

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Depending on jurisdiction, your son can attempt to secure a copy of his GF's birth certificate, which is generally considered by the government to be proof of citizenship. I had to do this when applying for VA benefits for my mom. It turned out, as a home birth, she didn't have a birth certificate, but rather an affidavit of birth. Her parents were naturalized US citizens, becoming US citizens after she was born.

 

If the GF has proof of citizenship, she can sponsor her family to the US, following relevant statute. Your son is not relevant to that process. If she is illegal, and she and your son were to bear a child in the US *and* that child received a birth certificate, the *child* would be considered to be a natural born US citizen. The GF would still be illegal but would have certain rights relevant to the child being a citizen.

 

There's a ton of this stuff online, right from government web sites. I suggest you have your *son* learn about this topic, as he is the one with the potential dynamic.

 

Good luck :)

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This girl is what is known as an "anchor baby". One who is born to illegals, who automatically then gets citizenship, and therefore her parents get to stay in the country, even illegally, because she is a US citizen and a minor.

 

As for her parents, if they are still illegals, then once she turns 18, they have no legitimate argument to stay in the country, should authorities become aware of their status.

 

If things get ugly with this girl, and I *highly* suspect they will, you can threaten her with calling ICE on her parents, and I'm sure that will get her to back right off.

 

Still, as far as responsibility goes - when she gives birth, and names your son on the birth certificate, then HE is financially responsible for this baby, even though this girl will certainly be getting some public assistance.

 

God, our system sucks. (Separate issue - lol).

 

Does your son plan to be involved with her and his child, once born?

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. :( My BFF's step son did the same thing. He was 20, and knocked up an illegal (Cuban) who was 17/nearly 18. I can't even tell you the drama between her and her family and my BFF's stepson. Horrible. When push comes to shove, you will see hundreds of relatives show up out of the woodwork to support her, and hassle your son/family.

 

These kinds of things with very young people rarely have a happy outcome.

 

Please, whatever you do, try to force your son to make it to college. He's already made one life mistake, and it would be horrible to make another and give up his education and future.

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Once the GF is *confirmed* pregnant, IMO, it would be a good idea for the son to talk to a family law lawyer who can consult on immigration and citizenship laws relevant to a paternity action. I personally think, in these circumstances, it might be money well spent. He has his whole life ahead of him. He made a choice here. He still has lots of choices left to make.

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I don't think the girlfriend is pregnant yet, but it sounds like he is making a dumb decision to have unprotected sex.

 

If I were you I would be hollering at him left and right to wrap it up, putting pregnancy aside, the STDs going around are, literally, deadly. That is not to say she is sleeping around, but just what I was taught from an early age through high school. It actually made me uncomfortable the first time I had unprotected sex because it was against everything I had been taught (but, not too much choice since we were trying to get pregnant lol).

 

I do not want to jump on the girlfriend here. It sounds like they have been in a long term relationship and I do not want to get on a "the girl is just going to trap him into a horrible marriage with babies he doesn't want" - I have seen nothing to indicate this is her mindset. OP is floating this idea based on what someone ELSE is saying could be her intention.

 

If it were, I would think she would not still be with him - she would have slept around with whoever would have her until she got knocked up.

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The GF already IS pregnant.

 

SugarMomma had a longer thread about it. Done deal, and now she's just asking for advice about what's coming down the pike for her family.

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I don't think the girlfriend is pregnant yet, but it sounds like he is making a dumb decision to have unprotected sex.

I missed the inference here:

 

He admitted to me that they were using protection and made a decision to not. If she did this to try to trap him, she has to deal with the consequences of that since we know that a baby won't necessarily keep a man around. As a result, he has a problem.
This, to me, presumes someone is asserting a pregnancy. What remains is to confirm it medically (blood tests and imaging).

 

If already confirmed medically, I'd consult with a lawyer ASAP, just to be safe.

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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242055/

 

She is pregnant...

 

Being a Dad at 18 isn't the worst thing that could happen to him but it certainly isn't the smartest moves he will have made so far since turning 18.

 

What does your son say he wants to do now that he is going to be a father ?

You son chose to have unprotected sex with her.. so he is just as responsible for the pregnancy as she is.

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My son who is 18 has been dating a mexican female for 2 years who is also 18. She was born here but her parents were not. Her parents speak virtually no english and the father is a mechanic and the mother stays home.

 

Since the parents were not born here, doesn't that mean that the daughter is also an illegal citizen? I heard that even if the daughter was born here she still would not be able to apply for citizenship until she turns 18 but it would be quicker being pregnant by a us citizen.

 

Someone was also telling me that the daughter getting pregnant could be a plan so that the entire family can become us citizens. Since once the baby is born she can apply for public aid and child support while she still lives with her parents which would help the process of citizenship.

 

Is this possible? I am just trying to make sure my son isn't being used. He really cares for this girl.

 

Anybody that is familiar with how these laws work I would really appreciate it.

 

What people are telling you is all bigoted and ignorant b*llsh*t.

 

Her parent's legal status has nothing to do with whether they have US born grandchildren. If her parents have lived in this country at least 5 years and held down jobs they can apply for Naturalization status with no problems and become citizens. Their child can also sponsor them for the application process if they have not yet done so and they can have permanent green cards or become US citizens (taking the test) if she is of age (not sure if the law is 18 or 21).

 

She was born here. She has a birth certificate. She is a citizen. It DOES NOT MATTER if her parents are illegal in this country or not. Citizenship is birthright to those born on US soil. Period. If she has a social security number then it's a sure bet that she is a legal US citizen as you have to produce a US birth certificate to obtain one.

 

Please visit the official US Citizenship and Immigration Services website to inform yourself. http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

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This girl is what is known as an "anchor baby". One who is born to illegals, who automatically then gets citizenship, and therefore her parents get to stay in the country, even illegally, because she is a US citizen and a minor.

 

As for her parents, if they are still illegals, then once she turns 18, they have no legitimate argument to stay in the country, should authorities become aware of their status.

 

If things get ugly with this girl, and I *highly* suspect they will, you can threaten her with calling ICE on her parents, and I'm sure that will get her to back right off.

 

Still, as far as responsibility goes - when she gives birth, and names your son on the birth certificate, then HE is financially responsible for this baby, even though this girl will certainly be getting some public assistance.

 

God, our system sucks. (Separate issue - lol).

 

Does your son plan to be involved with her and his child, once born?

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. :( My BFF's step son did the same thing. He was 20, and knocked up an illegal (Cuban) who was 17/nearly 18. I can't even tell you the drama between her and her family and my BFF's stepson. Horrible. When push comes to shove, you will see hundreds of relatives show up out of the woodwork to support her, and hassle your son/family.

 

These kinds of things with very young people rarely have a happy outcome.

 

Please, whatever you do, try to force your son to make it to college. He's already made one life mistake, and it would be horrible to make another and give up his education and future.

 

 

Thanks so much. He is taking full responsibility for providing for the child once he knows its his. He also still has plans to go away to college and work to send money home for the child. If they start to give my son a hard time they will have hell on their hands since I don't deal with BS very well. You guys have really shed some light on this for me.

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Are you sure the parents haven't already applied for citizenship ? They have been here for at least 18 years ??

 

If they haven't do they have a green card or are they here without one ?

 

Also.. if your son does in turn get her pregnant what would you think he will do ?

 

 

She is already pregnant 6 weeks. Her parents speak virtually no english and I only assume they have been her 18 years since my son claims the girl was born here. I told him to ask her what hospital she was born in just like in a general way. He created this mess and I am trying to educate him without him thinking I'm bad mouthing the girl. I have no idea if they have green cards or anything. I met them once but since they didn't speak english I couldn't really talk to them.

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Depending on jurisdiction, your son can attempt to secure a copy of his GF's birth certificate, which is generally considered by the government to be proof of citizenship. I had to do this when applying for VA benefits for my mom. It turned out, as a home birth, she didn't have a birth certificate, but rather an affidavit of birth. Her parents were naturalized US citizens, becoming US citizens after she was born.

 

If the GF has proof of citizenship, she can sponsor her family to the US, following relevant statute. Your son is not relevant to that process. If she is illegal, and she and your son were to bear a child in the US *and* that child received a birth certificate, the *child* would be considered to be a natural born US citizen. The GF would still be illegal but would have certain rights relevant to the child being a citizen.

 

There's a ton of this stuff online, right from government web sites. I suggest you have your *son* learn about this topic, as he is the one with the potential dynamic.

 

Good luck :)

 

We talked about citizenship and how people are used all the time to become legal in this country. I think it did get him to thinking. He is just making things so much more difficult for himself.

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Once the GF is *confirmed* pregnant, IMO, it would be a good idea for the son to talk to a family law lawyer who can consult on immigration and citizenship laws relevant to a paternity action. I personally think, in these circumstances, it might be money well spent. He has his whole life ahead of him. He made a choice here. He still has lots of choices left to make.

 

That is a good idea. I thought that if she happened to be illegal and had a baby that would automatically make her legal. But since that isn't the case and she is illegal she may try to get my son to marry her to become a citizen. I already told him that would not be a reason to marry and that he may be being used if they were to suggest that. I just need to find out if the daughter is a legal citizen. I wish I knew how to do that.

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What people are telling you is all bigoted and ignorant b*llsh*t.

 

Her parent's legal status has nothing to do with whether they have US born grandchildren. If her parents have lived in this country at least 5 years and held down jobs they can apply for Naturalization status with no problems and become citizens. Their child can also sponsor them for the application process if they have not yet done so and they can have permanent green cards or become US citizens (taking the test) if she is of age (not sure if the law is 18 or 21).

 

She was born here. She has a birth certificate. She is a citizen. It DOES NOT MATTER if her parents are illegal in this country or not. Citizenship is birthright to those born on US soil. Period. If she has a social security number then it's a sure bet that she is a legal US citizen as you have to produce a US birth certificate to obtain one.

 

Please visit the official US Citizenship and Immigration Services website to inform yourself. http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

 

Best post on this thread.

 

Anyways, how are they in this country for almost 2 decades and virtually speak no English? Either the OP is exaggerating since they probably have accents or the girl is def. not born in this country.

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We talked about citizenship and how people are used all the time to become legal in this country. I think it did get him to thinking. He is just making things so much more difficult for himself.
Yes, I learned about that over a decade ago when educating myself about the potential pitfalls and scams wrt marrying a 'foreign' woman, especially one from a disadvantaged country, in my case Eastern Europe/CIS. This was called the 'K-1 scam', relevant to the 'fiance visa' a foreigner can enter the country on in order to marry.

 

I'll bet if your son took a couple hours and did some google searches on government web sites, he'd establish a clear perspective of the potentials and pitfalls. My approach, like it appears your is, is one of education. Becoming knowledgable. Being in love is wonderful; being a father is a big responsibility. Not being fully informed, is there a positive and respected male role model in his life, one he can talk to 'man to man'? IMO, remembering back to the conversations I had with my father when his age, I can see the value in that. Hope it works out :)

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What people are telling you is all bigoted and ignorant b*llsh*t.

 

Her parent's legal status has nothing to do with whether they have US born grandchildren. If her parents have lived in this country at least 5 years and held down jobs they can apply for Naturalization status with no problems and become citizens. Their child can also sponsor them for the application process if they have not yet done so and they can have permanent green cards or become US citizens (taking the test) if she is of age (not sure if the law is 18 or 21).

 

She was born here. She has a birth certificate. She is a citizen. It DOES NOT MATTER if her parents are illegal in this country or not. Citizenship is birthright to those born on US soil. Period. If she has a social security number then it's a sure bet that she is a legal US citizen as you have to produce a US birth certificate to obtain one.

 

Please visit the official US Citizenship and Immigration Services website to inform yourself. http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

 

Thank yo so much. Her dad works as a mechanic (which could be under the table) and her mother does not work at all. would the daughter still be able to sponsor an application for them?

 

I just wish I knew whether the daughter was really born here. My son will take responsibility. I just don't want him to be made a fool of because he thinks he's in love. I know he has to learn but it is my job to provide some guidance. even though he obviously doesn't always listen to me.

 

This whole thing is making my ass hurt!

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Best post on this thread.

 

Anyways, how are they in this country for almost 2 decades and virtually speak no English? Either the OP is exaggerating since they probably have accents or the girl is def. not born in this country.

 

 

My son is at their house all the time and he told me. The father speaks very little english and mom speaks none at all. I asked my son if the dad could hold a general/basic conversation with an english speaking person and he said no. The daughter does not have an accent at all. You would be amazed. I work with spanish speaking families and I have to use an interpreter because they can't communicate.

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That is a good idea. I thought that if she happened to be illegal and had a baby that would automatically make her legal. But since that isn't the case and she is illegal she may try to get my son to marry her to become a citizen. I already told him that would not be a reason to marry and that he may be being used if they were to suggest that. I just need to find out if the daughter is a legal citizen. I wish I knew how to do that.

 

If this girl was born in the US, as she claims, then county will have birth records, which you can go and search.

 

If she doesn't show up, then that could mean she wasn't born in a hospital. If that's the case, she'd be VERY hard-pressed to be able to prove she was born in the US.

 

If she ends up being illegal, the child will be still be legal, if born here, but she still won't be, and neither will her family. Just that no one would force her to leave the country at this point, as they won't separate an illegal parent and an anchor baby. :(

 

I hope your son isn't considering marrying this girl.

 

What are her plans? Is she going to school? Working? Does your son plan to have a relationshiip with this child, besides financial support?

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Yes, I learned about that over a decade ago when educating myself about the potential pitfalls and scams wrt marrying a 'foreign' woman, especially one from a disadvantaged country, in my case Eastern Europe/CIS. This was called the 'K-1 scam', relevant to the 'fiance visa' a foreigner can enter the country on in order to marry.

 

I'll bet if your son took a couple hours and did some google searches on government web sites, he'd establish a clear perspective of the potentials and pitfalls. My approach, like it appears your is, is one of education. Becoming knowledgable. Being in love is wonderful; being a father is a big responsibility. Not being fully informed, is there a positive and respected male role model in his life, one he can talk to 'man to man'? IMO, remembering back to the conversations I had with my father when his age, I can see the value in that. Hope it works out :)

 

My son's dad is in his life very much but he knows nothing about this issue. He's kind of slow. :)

 

My sister's boyfriend married a mexican girl that used him to become a citizen and my son is going to call him tomorrow. I just want him to share his experience with my son so that he understands somewhat what the possible consequences could be legally besides child support (which I will make sure he pays). My son believes in the goodness in people whereas I am more street smart and question everything. He is supposed to find out what hospital she was born in.

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If this girl was born in the US, as she claims, then county will have birth records, which you can go and search.

 

If she doesn't show up, then that could mean she wasn't born in a hospital. If that's the case, she'd be VERY hard-pressed to be able to prove she was born in the US.

 

If she ends up being illegal, the child will be still be legal, if born here, but she still won't be, and neither will her family. Just that no one would force her to leave the country at this point, as they won't separate an illegal parent and an anchor baby. :(

 

I hope your son isn't considering marrying this girl.

 

What are her plans? Is she going to school? Working? Does your son plan to have a relationshiip with this child, besides financial support?

 

 

They are still together and my son really cares for this girl. She has broken up with him a couple times and I tried to get him to move on but he went back to her. Thanks so much. I am going to find out if their is a public record of her birth in the county records. I am so glad I started this thread since I didn't know where to start.

 

I already told him he had better not even think about marrying her until he has a degree and can provide a roof over her head. He wants to stay with her but I think the pressure of the situation will make them break up since they are immature and the hormones are about to go crazy. I think she creates drama but my son is really cool and doesn't tell me a lot about their r problems.

 

She made 18 in April and won't graduate until next june which means she may have failed a grade. My son will be officially 18 in a few weeks.

You guys ROCK!!!

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