Poor families sending kids to private schools

[BubbleFreak]

A friend of a friend was complaining about having to pay rediculous amounts of money to put her 4 kids through private schooling. Her family is poor, and can't even afford a TV.

 

She and a teacher at the school were arguing. The teacher's main concern was that the kids were being teased because they were different and needed to be in proper school uniform to fit in. The parent was more concerned about why her 8 year old daughter still could not read, and that having an $80 official school backpack was really a superficial issue regarding education.

 

Perhaps noteworthy is that the teacher also said to the parent "Maybe if you stopped breeding you would be able to afford a school bag."

 

I am not a parent, and I won't pretend to know what is best for kids in terms of education, but it does bother me that many poorer kids inevitably go through social hell amongst their richer piers when their parents choose to put them in private schooling. Of course, I'm sure there are some kids that have positive experiences instead.

 

What are you opinions? Why do parents choose to put their kids through private education when it is beyond their means?

[D-Lish]

Considering how much private schools cost, I seriously doubt a poor family with no tv could afford to place 4 kids in a private school. I also seriously doubt a teacher at such a school would tell a paying customer they should stop breeding. Rubbish.

[BubbleFreak]

It's quite possible she was exagerating. I only heard the parent's side of the story. She told me this story last night, first time I'd met her, so can't really vouch for her.

[D-Lish]

It's quite possible she was exagerating. I only heard the parent's side of the story. She told me this story last night, first time I'd met her, so can't really vouch for her.

 

Well it costs thousands... Maybe that's why they don't have a TV:rolleyes:

[SpanksTheMonkey]

A friend of a friend was complaining about having to pay rediculous amounts of money to put her 4 kids through private schooling. Her family is poor, and can't even afford a TV.

 

She and a teacher at the school were arguing. The teacher's main concern was that the kids were being teased because they were different and needed to be in proper school uniform to fit in. The parent was more concerned about why her 8 year old daughter still could not read, and that having an $80 official school backpack was really a superficial issue regarding education.

 

Perhaps noteworthy is that the teacher also said to the parent "Maybe if you stopped breeding you would be able to afford a school bag."

 

I am not a parent, and I won't pretend to know what is best for kids in terms of education, but it does bother me that many poorer kids inevitably go through social hell amongst their richer piers when their parents choose to put them in private schooling. Of course, I'm sure there are some kids that have positive experiences instead.

 

What are you opinions? Why do parents choose to put their kids through private education when it is beyond their means?

The breeding comment is just disgusting but yet I bet she would be the 1st to comment on the evils of abortion really some are just to far up on that high horse!

 

That said I do wonder what compels people to keep having kids when their just not in a financial position to properly provide for them all no?

 

Don't get me wrong here I'm not talking about this situation no kid NEEDS an 80 pack pac and even if could afford one I wouldn't spoil them to that degree.

 

I'm talking about the ones on welfare who keep having kids I just don't get it! Sure I think its ok to send your kids to private school if it gives them a better head start.

 

Cause lets face it at the end of the day even in public school its a competition anymore designer this and that top brand cell phones and so on.

 

Why? its because the world has become ultra materialistic and thats something we must teach kids about one way or the other.

 

So we can show them that just because they don't have this or that doesn't mean there not as good as their peers..

[BubbleFreak]

Why? its because the world has become ultra materialistic and thats something we must teach kids about one way or the other.

 

So we can show them that just because they don't have this or that doesn't mean there not as good as their peers..

 

That's a good point. I do wonder though, if showing kids they can excel in education without having heaps of money is worth the teasing they have to go through if put in a school where everyone else is rich.

[BubbleFreak]

Well it costs thousands... Maybe that's why they don't have a TV:rolleyes:

 

Hah yeah being poor could be the outcome of their decision to put kids through private schooling, rather than their original financial state.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

That's a good point. I do wonder though, if showing kids they can excel in education without having heaps of money is worth the teasing they have to go through if put in a school where everyone else is rich.

I was teased when I was younger it taut me to have compassion for others some times the best lesions are the hardest to deal with at the time what doesn't kill you gives you strength and character in the end.

[txsilkysmoothe]

Private school is desirable to poor parents for the same reason it is desirable to rich parents. It is considered superior by parents familar with the public school system. Why should quality education be limited to rich kids?

 

I would love to be able to put my child in private school. There are many reasons why, some factual, some assumptions. Public schools leave much to be desired in terms of educating children, providing a safe environment and eliminating negative influences.

 

Some "poor" families find a way to afford private school because they consider it "that" important to their childs upbrining. They pay for private school instead of buying a second car, taking nice vacations, etc. In my city, most private schools are religious based. For parents who feel the public school system impedes on religious beliefs, private school is the only option.

 

Rich kids and poor kids attend public school together, too. Public schools implement uniforms as well but usually uniforms are not expensive and they serve as an equalizer between the rich and poor. Public schools are full of clicks and social hell based on financial status.

[D-Lish]

Some "poor" families find a way to afford private school because they consider it "that" important to their childs upbrining. They pay for private school instead of buying a second car, taking nice vacations

 

Yeah, but having the option of buying a second car, going on a vacation, or sending their kids to a private school isn't indicative of a poor family.

 

If you have the option to send your kids to a private school- you aren't poor, bottom line.

[BubbleFreak]

Some "poor" families find a way to afford private school because they consider it "that" important to their childs upbrining. They pay for private school instead of buying a second car, taking nice vacations, etc. In my city, most private schools are religious based. For parents who feel the public school system impedes on religious beliefs, private school is the only option.

 

I think you have a great answer to my question. I can see that maybe not having a TV was actually a sacrifice because investing in their kids' education must just be more important. Also I didn't think about the religious aspect.

 

Wow, I think this would put a lot of pressure on the kids though, to perform well in school.

[txsilkysmoothe]

If you have the option to send your kids to a private school- you aren't poor, bottom line.

 

I would agree with that. But in order to answer the OP's questions I operated on the scenario she provided (her definition of poor) and I agree that it's a scenario that exists. That being that the only common factor among some private school students (rich/poor) is that they attend the same school. For the rich kid, continued attendance is a guarantee. For the "poor" kid -next month or next year, they may find themselves in public school.

[BubbleFreak]

By poor I mean not being able to afford the basics that a private school expects of all their students, such as having kids dressed in complete school uniform. It's a comparative definition based on the context.

[sb129]

Lots of private schools have scholarships for kids from families on lower incomes.

 

I am not a big believer in private education, my H and I both went through the public school system and both have bachelors and postgraduate degrees.

 

H is a high school teacher and believes that the quality of education in our countries schools is reasonably standardised with just a few exceptions. He also believes that children from families who place a high value on education will generally succeed regardless of which school they go to.

 

I would be concerned that the 8 year old can't read yet too - but thats not entirely the teachers fault.

[LucreziaBorgia]

A friend of a friend was complaining about having to pay rediculous amounts of money to put her 4 kids through private schooling. Her family is poor, and can't even afford a TV.

 

What are you opinions? Why do parents choose to put their kids through private education when it is beyond their means?

 

What is her complaint with the public school there? If it is a terrible area, I could understand but if she is against public school in general that just sounds like snobbery.

 

As for why they do it (and there are people who do - I know people here who sacrifice big time just so their kid/s can go to the private school here in town), I guess they want their kids to have what they didn't, or they want them to have what they see as 'the best' (even if it may not be considering she has a second grader that can't read). What they don't realize is that sometimes when you are a 'have not' and you throw your kid in with the 'haves' it doesn't help the kid so much as hurt them.

[Krytie TV]

I'm not going to presume to know whether this school is better than the local public school, but my opinion is based on that assumption.

 

I applaud this mother for wanting to sacrifice other "luxuries" to send her children to a better school for a better education. It's unfortunate that the children have to endure the disgustingly pretentious microchosm that is the world of the richer and more entitled. Wealthy families tend to produce children that are so detached from reality. It's sad.

 

That said, good for her. If more Americans could step away from the television long enough to do what's right for their children we probably would not be witnessing the current decline of the Western Civilization.

 

As for the teasing they endure, it will make them stronger while the entitled children become simply more entitled.

Edited April 26, 2010 by Krytie TV

[califnan]

I'm not going to presume to know whether this school is better than the local public school, but my opinion is based on that assumption.

 

I applaud this mother for wanting to sacrifice other "luxuries" to send her children to a better school for a better education. It's unfortunate that the children have to endure the disgustingly pretentious microchosm that is the world of the richer and more entitled. Wealthy families tend to produce children that are so detached from reality. It's sad.

 

That said, good for her. If more Americans could step away from the television long enough to do what's right for their children we probably would not be witnessing the current decline of the Western Civilization.

 

As for the teasing they endure, it will make them stronger while the entitled children become simply more entitled.

 

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I believe that I can speak for every aspect ..

 

My ninety year old mother and her sisters were "dirt poor" - living with their grandmother, who barely existed.. She still speaks of the humiliation in her school days.

 

My grandson was read to and had a thirst for all aspects of learning from the beginning.. Was on the computer early .. At the age of 8 he was far advanced in a public school in an oppressed area, as to be put in other classes such as science as a filler.

 

I came from a middle class family .. Other students did not know that they too, were from middle class families .. and acted very upity.. I was not miss popularity .. ha

 

My sons were raised in an area of a wealthier residents .. Still they were spat upon by other students when they were in high school .. Being premature - in the beginning my sons started out very slow learners in school .. I found a wonderful tutor who taught them reading and math skills toward advancement ..

 

My answer: Your friend would do better with the children in public schooling - and with some of the leftover funds, get a private tutor. The tutor will only be for a matter of weeks to months. Not years.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Lots of private schools have scholarships for kids from families on lower incomes.

 

I am not a big believer in private education, my H and I both went through the public school system and both have bachelors and postgraduate degrees.

 

H is a high school teacher and believes that the quality of education in our countries schools is reasonably standardised with just a few exceptions. He also believes that children from families who place a high value on education will generally succeed regardless of which school they go to.

 

I would be concerned that the 8 year old can't read yet too - but thats not entirely the teachers fault.

 

The majority of public schools in our area stink. The ones our kids would go to stink. ALL of the private schools in our area have scholarship programs.

 

Many families here struggle to send their kids to private schools. I paid more for my sons books in a private school than I did for my daughters college books last year. When he starts high school, his tuition will be more than her college for 2 semesters.

 

I have over heard people badmouthing some scholarship families. One child was talking about his trip to Disney for spring break and when he walked away a parent said something to the effect that if they could afford that vacation then they shouldn't be getting scholarships for their kids.

 

I can't believe though that someone hasn't stepped up to provide the child with a book bag. The school we are at would have asked around for a used one for the child.

 

I'm affraid I would have taken the teacher out for questioning my "breeding" though. I would also take my son out for making fun of a classmate for what they did or didn't have. I caught my daughter doing this with her friends at a slumber party. She lost all of her clothes and was given a very small allowance to replace them and a ride to Walmart. From that point on, for a few years she spent her own money on clothes and learned to shop very frugally. Probably the best lesson she ever learned.

 

That is an awfully strange story to tell someone whom you have just met! :eek:

[califnan]

-----------------------

 

I believe that I can speak for every aspect ..

 

My ninety year old mother and her sisters were "dirt poor" - living with their grandmother, who barely existed.. She still speaks of the humiliation in her school days.

 

My grandson was read to and had a thirst for all aspects of learning from the beginning.. Was on the computer early .. At the age of 8 he was far advanced in a public school in an oppressed area, as to be put in other classes such as science as a filler.

 

I came from a middle class family .. Other students did not know that they too, were from middle class families .. and acted very upity.. I was not miss popularity .. ha

 

My sons were raised in an area of a wealthier residents .. Still they were spat upon by other students when they were in high school .. Being premature - in the beginning my sons started out very slow learners in school .. I found a wonderful tutor who taught them reading and math skills toward advancement ..

 

My answer: Your friend would do better with the children in public schooling - and with some of the leftover funds, get a private tutor. The tutor will only be for a matter of weeks to months. Not years.

 

-------------------------

 

The two things I am trying to say from my prev post is: Other children in a school environment can be rotten, regardless of financial circumstances of the family .. And you cannot always rely totally on the school if you wish for your children to have a head start in learning..

[Peaceful Guy]

"Maybe if you stopped breeding you would be able to afford a school bag."

 

Why do parents choose to put their kids through private education when it is beyond their means?

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh:yeah, why WOULD they do that? why would someone that can't afford a tv spend all their money so that their kids could get the same education well off kids get.. its a real puzzler!

[BubbleFreak]

Thanks for all your replies.

 

Well, next time I see this lady again (friend of a friend) I will ask her why she sends her kids to a private school, and if she has ever thought of hiring a tutor instead. It's probably to do with many reasons you all have mentioned.

 

The area we live in is made up of mostly working class but there are some small developments where upper middle class and a few rich people live. I went to a public school which, in comparison to other schools (both public and private), was not that good in terms of facilities but had a few remarkable teachers. Some friends of mine from primary school thought it was worth travelling 45minutes away by bus to better public high schools that are on par with private schools (but much cheaper). My boyfriend, for one, was one of these people. Though, come to think of it, the final result is the same- we have both now got university degrees and similar incomes.

 

I really think that, although which school you attend matters, a lot of how much the student learns also depends on how much they themselves want to learn.