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What's wrong with being childfree??


BlackLovely

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I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT. I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

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There's nothing wrong with not having kids, if you're both happy with that. But I find some of your reasons to be a bit ill-informed.

 

Pregnancy is not fat - it's a baby inside you. I actually know some larger ladies who lost weight while pregnant, because they ate healthier for the sake of the baby.

 

If women with kids were *ahem* significantly flappier afterwards, no guy would ever want to date a sin gle mother, or even do it with their own wives. From what I understand, there isn't an appreciable difference, especially if the woman exercises her internal muscles to tighten them a bit.

 

Birth isn't always painful. My Mum popped me out after a 30min labour. Plus there are drugs for the pain nowadays.

 

I can understand if you don't want the expense and hassle of kids, but it doesn't seem like expense and hassle if it's your own kids - you would give them anything because you love them so much.

 

Children don't necessarily disrupt the parents' relationship, and a man who is jealous of his own child is obviously some sort of freak. Plus mothers still have sex! (although perhaps not as frequently and easily as before, due to childcare considerations).

 

Do you really think you would abuse your own children, just because you were abused? That's pretty sick if you would hurt your own kid because someone else hurt you.

 

As I said, I have nothing against your decision not to have children if your priorities in life lie elsewhere, but I do think that some of your reasoning is rather ill-conceived.

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Sounds like not having children is the perfect choice for you.

 

Oh and by the way,

 

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

 

There is no truth to that statement whatsoever. Women are amazingly elastic "in that certain spot".

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Nothing at all wrong with not wanting children. It's a choice, not a requirement. You can have a very meaningfull, rich life.

 

It's not like the old days where you need to have a lot of children to take care of the farm, to take care of each other, and you. Now there is (in most industrialized places) access to birth control, plus sexual health eduction. Children are a choice, and it's up to each person to either practice safe safe, family plan, and decide what is best.

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I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT.

 

You would gain weight and some might be fat, but you would lose it afterward too. My wife has gained and lost after every pregnancy. She usually returned to her pre-baby weight and even lower.

 

I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

 

While I sympathize with that (my wife has a tough time losing weight, too), it IS about calories in versus calories burned. Again, pregnancy weight is not the same as "regular" weight gains.

 

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

 

How do you know? :laugh:

 

After four babies, my wife is NOT as tight, but as for enjoyment, it is not a big deal. Different positions can be used to enhance enjoyment.

 

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

 

Here is a valid reason. The pain can be alot. My own wife was scared of the pain of labor and delivery. Our first pregnancy was scary for her. Yet the same day after our first was born, she was talking about "when we have our next one." I was still reeling from the idea of our life being changed. :laugh:

 

Why would you go through that? Only for the joy a child can bring. And speaking for my wife as I know her opinion, she had no clue how much joy they could bring. Before children, we honestly were as you are.

 

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

 

It is. :mad: But the smiles and laughter can erase the other irritations.

 

And I do not like other peoples children very well. I cannot attach to children in general. But my own? Whole different story.

 

Having a child is very expensive.

 

It is what you make it. Personally, we spent more money on ourselves and had less left over before we had children. Now that we have children, we save more and think of our future and theirs more.

 

Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

 

You will. But honestly, my wife enjoys spending more on the kids than on herself.

 

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

 

It is a real problem that can be solved with time. It will disrupt your relationship at first. Personally, it did take some time. The question we always have for each other is...would we be happier alone as a couple? And we always say no. Yes we want time alone, but without children, we would be much less enriched as a couple and of course as a family.

 

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.)

 

This may be a reason that you do not want to be your mother. But I could tell you what my wife endured from her father, and you would wonder why she would want to trust her children to another man. Point is...I am not her father, and you will not be your mother. Perhaps counseling is good for you.

 

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

 

I have no problem if you do not want children. I don't think it is so horrible. My wife and I felt as you did prior to children. Would we have missed them if we never had them? Hard to say. When my wife was pregnant I was sad at all that we would lose. But not knowing what we would gain, I was scared what the future would bring. Looking back (despite our lack of sex...which is NOT related to children IMO), I cannot imagine a life without children.

 

Your opinion is fine, but I suggest that neither of you marry the other thinking that his or her opinion may not change at some later date.

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There's nothing wrong with not having kids, if you're both happy with that. But I find some of your reasons to be a bit ill-informed.

 

Pregnancy is not fat - it's a baby inside you. I actually know some larger ladies who lost weight while pregnant, because they ate healthier for the sake of the baby.

A woman is required to gain weight while she's pregnant for the baby. So while the baby herself is obviously not fat, being pregnant leads to signifigant weight gain.

 

If women with kids were *ahem* significantly flappier afterwards, no guy would ever want to date a sin gle mother, or even do it with their own wives. From what I understand, there isn't an appreciable difference, especially if the woman exercises her internal muscles to tighten them a bit.

I've talked to men who tell me that they don't like sleeping with moms for that reason. It's just common sense dear...a woman who pushes out a tiny human being could never be a tight as a non mom. Think about it.

 

Birth isn't always painful. My Mum popped me out after a 30min labour. Plus there are drugs for the pain nowadays.

I'm aware of the drugs. Your mother is the exception and not the rule. Most births are very painful.

 

I can understand if you don't want the expense and hassle of kids, but it doesn't seem like expense and hassle if it's your own kids - you would give them anything because you love them so much.

 

Children don't necessarily disrupt the parents' relationship, and a man who is jealous of his own child is obviously some sort of freak. Plus mothers still have sex! (although perhaps not as frequently and easily as before, due to childcare considerations). Exactly! I don't want the frequency and the ease of my sex life to change. Of course mothers have sex, this is why they are mothers, duh!!! :)

 

Do you really think you would abuse your own children, just because you were abused? That's pretty sick if you would hurt your own kid because someone else hurt you. You come across as someone who loves to label people; "freak" "sick". Read a book. Parents who were abused as children are much more likely to abuse their own kids. Google this topic and you will see that the only sick freak here is you.

 

As I said, I have nothing against your decision not to have children if your priorities in life lie elsewhere, but I do think that some of your reasoning is rather ill-conceived.

:laugh:Whatever you say.
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Sounds like not having children is the perfect choice for you.

 

Oh and by the way,

 

 

 

There is no truth to that statement whatsoever. Women are amazingly elastic "in that certain spot".

 

We are elastic, however, no woman can expect to give birth and still be as tight as before. It's not possible. I'm told this by mothers.

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A pregnant woman is not required to gain weight for the baby. The baby needs an extra couple of hundred calories per day; whether these calories come from eating more or from existing fat stores makes no difference. If you're already fat it is possible to actually lose weight during pregnancy. Most women use pregnancy as an excuse to over-eat and that's why they get fat.

 

If a woman has a caesarean section, of course she's still as tight as a non-mother. Even vaginal birth doesn't result in a significant increase in looseness as long as the woman exercises afterwards. You also become looser with age, and also if you lose weight, so by your logic all men should want to nail fat chicks because they're tighter. You'd better make sure never to slim down or get older if you want to be sure of preserving your tightness.

 

Parents who were abused as children are more likely to abuse their own children, because they have emotional problems as a result of the abuse. But a person who hasn't suffered significant emotional damage from the abuse is still perfectly able to raise a child without abusing it. In addition, poverty is related to child abuse, and that tends to persist from generation to generation, which is why the abuse is perpetuated. If you're a better person than you parents were, there's no reason why you can't avoid abusing your own child.

 

If you want to focus on your career, or you have other financial priorities such as travelling or buying property, or other personal priorities such as having more free time, then it's fair enough if you don't want kids. But it's a lifestyle decision which is unrelated to the inaccurate information you are spouting such as "mothers are flappier".

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We are elastic, however, no woman can expect to give birth and still be as tight as before. It's not possible. I'm told this by mothers.

 

*shrug*

 

Granted, my wife only had the first vaginally, the second was c-section, but I could never tell any difference.

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You would gain weight and some might be fat, but you would lose it afterward too. My wife has gained and lost after every pregnancy. She usually returned to her pre-baby weight and even lower.

 

 

 

While I sympathize with that (my wife has a tough time losing weight, too), it IS about calories in versus calories burned. Again, pregnancy weight is not the same as "regular" weight gains.

 

 

 

How do you know? :laugh:

 

After four babies, my wife is NOT as tight, but as for enjoyment, it is not a big deal. Different positions can be used to enhance enjoyment.

 

 

 

Here is a valid reason. The pain can be alot. My own wife was scared of the pain of labor and delivery. Our first pregnancy was scary for her. Yet the same day after our first was born, she was talking about "when we have our next one." I was still reeling from the idea of our life being changed. :laugh:

 

Why would you go through that? Only for the joy a child can bring. And speaking for my wife as I know her opinion, she had no clue how much joy they could bring. Before children, we honestly were as you are.

 

 

 

It is. :mad: But the smiles and laughter can erase the other irritations.

 

And I do not like other peoples children very well. I cannot attach to children in general. But my own? Whole different story.

 

 

 

It is what you make it. Personally, we spent more money on ourselves and had less left over before we had children. Now that we have children, we save more and think of our future and theirs more.

 

 

 

You will. But honestly, my wife enjoys spending more on the kids than on herself.

 

 

 

It is a real problem that can be solved with time. It will disrupt your relationship at first. Personally, it did take some time. The question we always have for each other is...would we be happier alone as a couple? And we always say no. Yes we want time alone, but without children, we would be much less enriched as a couple and of course as a family.

 

 

 

This may be a reason that you do not want to be your mother. But I could tell you what my wife endured from her father, and you would wonder why she would want to trust her children to another man. Point is...I am not her father, and you will not be your mother. Perhaps counseling is good for you.

 

 

 

I have no problem if you do not want children. I don't think it is so horrible. My wife and I felt as you did prior to children. Would we have missed them if we never had them? Hard to say. When my wife was pregnant I was sad at all that we would lose. But not knowing what we would gain, I was scared what the future would bring. Looking back (despite our lack of sex...which is NOT related to children IMO), I cannot imagine a life without children.

 

Your opinion is fine, but I suggest that neither of you marry the other thinking that his or her opinion may not change at some later date.

 

Your post is the most intelligent and thoughtful. You are speaking honestly as a parent and you have confirmed my reasons. One of the reasons we are marrying each other is that neither of us want kids. We don't need screaming demanding little people to ruin our sex life. I am in counseling right now, because of all the abuse I have endured. I may not be my mother, but I have inherited her bad temper. I am working on this with my therapist.

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Good pelvic floor exercises actually made me tighter than before.

 

so I'm told by those who'd know...;)

 

My daughter is expecting her first child at 26, and she's already a 'big girl' (18 stone. I'm sorry, for my USA friends, but if you want to know what that is in lbs, work it out.... :D)

She's actually lost weight during her pregnancy.

 

Pain?

you're kidding, right?

 

I can honestly tell you, labour pain is something you actually forget. I can remember my ankle-break pain. I can remember my slipped disc back pain.

can remember my migraines.

Labour pain?

I can't begin to even to describe it, because I don't remember it.

but they do have pain management, you know....

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One of the reasons we are marrying each other is that neither of us want kids. We don't need screaming demanding little people to ruin our sex life. I am in counseling right now, because of all the abuse I have endured. I may not be my mother, but I have inherited her bad temper. I am working on this with my therapist.

 

And that's all the reason you need.

you don't want them.

And that's OK.

 

Good luck with your counselling.

I wish you well.

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I guess..you really don't need a list of reasons why not. If you don't want to be a mother, then it's okay!

 

Honestly..it seems the biggest headache of being childless..is all the questions and comments about your decision. Don't let it get to you! ;)

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One of the reasons we are marrying each other is that neither of us want kids. We don't need screaming demanding little people to ruin our sex life. I am in counseling right now, because of all the abuse I have endured. I may not be my mother, but I have inherited her bad temper. I am working on this with my therapist.

 

I agree that this is all the reason you need. Don't let anyone back you into a corner and make you explain your reasons.

 

Now, like some others, I find some of the explanations you offered to be misinformed, or at least "off-point" (e.g. I have enjoyed sex quite well with more than one woman who has given birth multiple times - whether you can argue that "you'll never be 'as tight' as before," it certainly doesn't somehow "ruin" you...)

 

However, that doesn't even matter - I'm not one of those who would try to convince you otherwise. Having kids is for people who are sure about it. If you've decided that kids aren't for you, and you've found a life-partner who feels the same way, then you're doing it right, and I support your choice. I am truly happy for you, and I wish you the best!

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"My goodness, you don't want children? Why ever not??"

 

"Because they're a drain on resources, this world is already over-populated and I'm not the maternal type."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll change your mind...."

"$350,000 dollars says I won't....."

"What do you mean....?"

"That's how much it costs to raise a kid. One kid. I'm happy to keep that money and spend it on something I want to spend it on, not on something society seems to think I should spend it on...."

 

 

Does that help....? :D

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I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT. I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

 

I lost all my weight after having my son but if this is a fear of yours, it may be valid.

 

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

 

If you get a c-section, you would be as *ahem* tight as ever.

 

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

 

I really think this is why I ended up having to have a c-section. I was in so much fear about the pain and I simply could not understand how a baby was going to come out of there! C-section is the way to go, hon, if you ever have a child.

 

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

 

Children can be very demanding and they can even make you nuts sometimes. If you're not up for that, then don't have any.

 

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

 

Yes, they do take up a great deal of your income. I notice it more than ever now that my son is in college. When they're young, they're really not that expensive. It's just that most parents love spending money on their kids.

 

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

 

I think a lot of men get jealous because women get too obessed with the child, to the exclusion of everything else. Not a good move.

 

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

 

I had a c-section and they said we couldn't have sex for 10 days. It nearly killed me because, to me, being able to make love again was the thing that made me feel like a woman - and I wanted to feel that again after being pregnant. I never lost interest in sex and I've never understood why women do.

 

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

 

This pretty much tips the scales right here. I think you would be smart not to have kids just for this reason alone. If you feel that you would repeat your mother's behavior, do not have children.

 

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

 

There's nothing at all wrong with being childfree. The thing is, children are such a joy, especially when they get older and you watch them grow into adults. I was never super attached to the idea of having kids but I finally decided that I should because I was afraid I would regret it. I totally love my son, like no one else on this earth. I do think you're missing something by not having kids but that doesn't mean your life isn't fulfilled or it's a great tragedy. Kids are a lot of work and they take a great deal of sacrifice. If you're not up for it, and your husband isn't either, then I wouldn't recommend having them.

Edited by Angel1111
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I can honestly tell you, labour pain is something you actually forget.

 

I haven't forgotten it. It was pretty horrible as far as I'm concerned. This is where drugs come in... :)

 

I thought a 'stone' was 27 lbs but that can't be right because that would make your daughter almost 500 lbs!

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There's nothing at all wrong with being childfree. The thing is, children are such a joy, especially when they get older and you watch them grow into adults. I was never super attached to the idea of having kids but I finally decided that I should because I was afraid I would regret it. I totally love my son, like no one else on this earth. I do think you're missing something by not having kids but that doesn't mean your life isn't fulfilled or it's a great tragedy. Kids are a lot of work and they take a great deal of sacrifice. If you're not up for it, and your husband isn't either, then I wouldn't recommend having them.

 

I agree that children are a joy. But the OP isn't asking to be convinced to have children. I am sure she is aware of what she wants and doesn't want. If someone says "well, you will miss out". Yes. You miss out on a lot of things in life when you decide you don't want to do them. If you don't go to college, you miss you on an eduction. But if you don't care to miss out, then it doesn't really matter, does it? If I had children at a young age, I know I would have felt like I "missed out".

 

OP don't let any of that sort of talk get to you. Sounds like you know what is right for you!

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I haven't forgotten it. It was pretty horrible as far as I'm concerned. This is where drugs come in... :)

 

I thought a 'stone' was 27 lbs but that can't be right because that would make your daughter almost 500 lbs!

 

14lbs. So daughter is approximately 250 lbs.

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Your post is the most intelligent and thoughtful. You are speaking honestly as a parent and you have confirmed my reasons. One of the reasons we are marrying each other is that neither of us want kids. We don't need screaming demanding little people to ruin our sex life. I am in counseling right now, because of all the abuse I have endured. I may not be my mother, but I have inherited her bad temper. I am working on this with my therapist.

 

Thank you. When we did not have children (a five year period) I remember two comments I would get: 1. "You don't know what you are missing." and 2. "I envy all of your freedom."

 

Both comments are correct.

 

I didn't know what I was missing. Now that I have children, I could give many reason why I like having them. Our house was never a home until the children filled it with noise and laughter :) ...oh, and fighting and crying. :laugh:

 

And yet, the freedom we both had is different. We cannot just up and leave to do something. Now that the oldest is a teenager, we can leave them alone but it is different. The question is....do I wish for that freedom back in exchange for no children? And that would be a resounding no.

 

As for screaming and demanding little people...yes, they can be. But the reverse is true, too. Happy and smiling little bundles of joy. Of course, those bundles of joy no longer needs bottles or diapers changed. IMO this helps me love them more. :D

 

Sex life? Ours was much better while we were trying to have children and even when they were babies, then it is now. Was it better prior to children? In the sense that it didn't need to be scheduled. And yes, the demanding little people kept my wife busier than before.

 

I wonder whether most of your concerns and lack of interest rest in two categories: fear of what you may become and fear of what your marriage may become. My wife had many counseling sessions before children. She would say and has said many times that the best therapy for her was unexpectedly the birth of her first child. No, she is not a needy person regarding her children by any means. Yes, her counseling was very helpful and may have been what prepared her for being a mother. But many of her fears were put to rest and she felt fulfilled.

 

I think your counseling is excellent for you and may be of great service. My wife felt much different after she went for a few years. She was abused in every way possible by her father and it left (and still leaves) an indelible mark on her psyche. By finding the right counselor, thankfully she was able to put much of the past behind her and not let it affect her parenting.

 

Pain?

you're kidding, right?

 

I can honestly tell you, labour pain is something you actually forget. I can remember my ankle-break pain. I can remember my slipped disc back pain.

can remember my migraines.

Labour pain?

I can't begin to even to describe it, because I don't remember it.

 

My wife said/says the same thing. She can list every pain she has had and will say that they are worse than the labor pains that she so feared.

 

But I want to say....your opinion is not something that I would change. It is something that you will either solidify or change. What I still do caution is that while today you both do not want children, realize that in time we change. One of those things that many couples do change is their opinion about children. Some don't. So do. What will make it difficult is if ONE of you changes and one of you doesn't.

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Thanks for injecting some humor to lighten things up! ;)

 

 

Oh crap :laugh:. Too much caffeine this morning!

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I agree that children are a joy. But the OP isn't asking to be convinced to have children. I am sure she is aware of what she wants and doesn't want. If someone says "well, you will miss out". Yes. You miss out on a lot of things in life when you decide you don't want to do them. If you don't go to college, you miss you on an eduction. But if you don't care to miss out, then it doesn't really matter, does it? If I had children at a young age, I know I would have felt like I "missed out".

 

OP don't let any of that sort of talk get to you. Sounds like you know what is right for you!

 

If you actually read everything I wrote, you would know that I wasn't encouraging her to have kids at all.

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I read what you wrote. That's why I responded to it.

 

I didn't intend to offend you, I apoligize if I did.

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A pregnant woman is not required to gain weight for the baby. The baby needs an extra couple of hundred calories per day; whether these calories come from eating more or from existing fat stores makes no difference. If you're already fat it is possible to actually lose weight during pregnancy. Most women use pregnancy as an excuse to over-eat and that's why they get fat.

 

If a woman has a caesarean section, of course she's still as tight as a non-mother. Even vaginal birth doesn't result in a significant increase in looseness as long as the woman exercises afterwards. You also become looser with age, and also if you lose weight, so by your logic all men should want to nail fat chicks because they're tighter. You'd better make sure never to slim down or get older if you want to be sure of preserving your tightness. :laugh: We were not discussing C-Sections. We were discussing vaginal births. Try to keep up. It's quite obvious that a C-section birth would not result and looseness. Think about it...a baby is signifigantly larger than a woman's vagina. This is where the looseness comes in. Who ever said that fat women are tighter?

 

Parents who were abused as children are more likely to abuse their own children, because they have emotional problems as a result of the abuse. But a person who hasn't suffered significant emotional damage from the abuse is still perfectly able to raise a child without abusing it. In addition, poverty is related to child abuse, and that tends to persist from generation to generation, which is why the abuse is perpetuated. If you're a better person than you parents were, there's no reason why you can't avoid abusing your own child.

People who have been abused never survive that experience, without being at least a little bit screwed up. Of course, one can realize that the environment they were raised in was dysfunctional and heal from it too; just as I am trying to. There have not been generations of poverty in my family, just generations of abuse. I agree that I can avoid it, but I choose not to take that chance.

If you want to focus on your career, or you have other financial priorities such as travelling or buying property, or other personal priorities such as having more free time, then it's fair enough if you don't want kids. But it's a lifestyle decision which is unrelated to the inaccurate information you are spouting such as "mothers are flappier".

How in the world are you telling ME what MY decisions are related to?? People have different reasons to be childfree. Is this not my choice? I do not feel the need to defend my reasons and quite frankly, I don't care what you think of my thought processes. The bottom line is, I don't want any children.

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