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Stupid Things We Tell Our Kids


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** Told my daughter a fluorescent pick 6" vibrator was an emergency road flare. One day when my ex, her Dad was over fixing something in the dark...she came running into the room with it "Dad, use this!"

 

** More recently after looking at her cell phone bill...."If you dont stop texting so much I will insist that you stop actually speaking" She was so confused by this, she didnt have a smart response. Thank god, because it made no sense to me either.

 

** Or the guilt thing: You want what?? Look at my shoes!! How can you think about asking for anything while I am wearing crappy shoes!"

Mind you, I'm driving a mercedes.

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Last night in a bookstore:

 

"I'm telling you, all this READING is going to have to stop"

 

Overheard by numerous parents who dont realize that she reads fiction instead of studying.

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Last night in a bookstore:

 

"I'm telling you, all this READING is going to have to stop"

 

Overheard by numerous parents who dont realize that she reads fiction instead of studying.

 

That was me when I was a child! My mom actually took away my books to punish me.

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GorillaTheater

"Old photographs weren't black and white, they're actually in color. It's just the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too."

 

I stole it from Calvin & Hobbes.

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Told my daughter that cows could fly just like in the Nursery Rhyme - but only at night.

 

She was livid when her preschool took the field trip to the farm and the teachers had to tell tell her the other kids were right.

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funniest one I heard was from a friend's daughter, then in junior high – these kids were like nieces to me, so we'd get pretty silly: "Ma! She stuck me the tongue!" (I'd stuck my tongue out at her)

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In a previous life my stepdaughter while boarding a plane with me asked me if she was going to see god.. ( she was 7 at the time )

 

I told her I hope not :laugh:..

 

 

 

I then explained that he was much higher than the clouds...

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** More recently after looking at her cell phone bill...."If you dont stop texting so much I will insist that you stop actually speaking" She was so confused by this, she didnt have a smart response. Thank god, because it made no sense to me either.

This really did make me LOL for real!

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Teacher at school shouted- Shut up and Tell me what happened in here!

We all looked at her like Okay which one of us knows sign language??

 

As kids we thought it was Common to say "Hail Marys" When driving up a hill.My Mom would say start praying! It would be years later that we found out it was because my mom couldnt ever get the gears right and we grinded them the whole way up! We figured Mary got us up the hill .:)

 

PS to Gorilla Theater- I swear I would think that very thing when I saw my grandmas pictures! I thought how dreary her life was without color in it LOL!

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My four year old saw me bathing in the tub one day. He asked why do you have hair there? My reply.. It's fur.:o:laugh: Did not know what to say was caught off gaurd and did not want to get into giving him a long explanation of that question.:eek:

 

I was telling my 9 year old son a few years back about how he was due to be born on the same day as baby jesus.. My son then said "Oh, then jesus is my age".:laugh: I said.. right!:o:lmao:

 

 

 

Mea:)

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melodymatters

Had out a cigarette ( pot) rolling paper when a friends child popped out and asked what it was. I explained it was a blotting paper to dab off the sweat without smearing your make up and proceeded to use it that way !

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Last night in a bookstore:

 

"I'm telling you, all this READING is going to have to stop"

 

Overheard by numerous parents who dont realize that she reads fiction instead of studying.

 

 

whats wrong with reading fiction?:(

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  • 2 weeks later...

Stupid thing we tell our kids: "fighting never solves anything."

 

That is true for adults. When you're a young kid, fighting solves lots of things.

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