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Change my newborns schedule??


porter218

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My daughter is now 5 weeks old and I am not getting any sleep. She was born 7-8 weeks premature but perfectly healthy and 20 hrs a day a very easy baby. I am running into this problem where my daughter is up all night and a little on the fussy side around 3-4am and then she is sleeping all day and perfectly easy. I am already back at both of my jobs...been back to work since she was 7 days old...and I can't afford to stay up all night. I feel like a zombie all week long until the weekend hits and then I can't function enough to hardly get out of the house. What can I do to get her schedule switched to being awake during the day and sleep at night. I am still not allowed to let her miss a feeding by more then an hr and she is on an every 3hr schedule by doctors orders until she is full-term. I can deal with feeding her every 3 hrs at night but it is when she stays awake and a little fussy all the way to her next feeding that really drains me. Please help..If anyone has a suggestion I would appreciate it.

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Why did you go back to work so fast? I know "maturnity leave" is a thing of the past, but you sould at least be able to collect disability. A week after giving birth is not enough time for your body to heal. You need rest girl!

Full term babies usually begin to sleep through the night between 2.5-3 months. The fact she was premature, it may be longer.

 

She is too small to have a "routine." That usually doesn't start to develop until 2-3 months either. When my son was born I got into a routine with him, doen't mean he got it though! lol

 

Best bet, call your doctor. Don't wait.

 

Where is she during the day while you are working?

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I was healed just fine. I am allowed at 1 of my jobs to take 6 weeks off but only one of which is paid. But they needed me back and I stand to make a great deal of money with them if I am there for them when they need me the most. With my second job I am a model. I don't work very many hours with them so it is not a huge stressor plus my hourly rate is through the roof so it is hard to pass up. Well my son (my 1st baby) slept through the night by his 2nd week so this is all new to me. As far as schedules go the doctors in the NICU say that all babies even preemies are put on schedules unfortunately mine likes the late night hours. They have told me that my daughter is interacting more like a 3 month old and except for her feeding schedule that is how I am to treat her. What did you do to get your son on a routine?

 

She is with my mother or my husband while I am at work. She is far to early to be put into daycare.. too many germs. Lucky for me my mother is a nurse in the NICU so my daughter is in the best care while she is with my mother:).

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Oh sticking my neck out here.

Your daughter is in the best care when she is with you.

 

Money is irrelevant when it comes to measuring whether you should be making money, or being with your new baby.

If you desperately need the money, perhaps having a baby wasn't the ideal decision.

My opinion is that you should be with your dearest little one, and stuff the job.

Take your time going back to work.

You will never be able to re-capture and enjoy these formative first few months.....

 

My opinion.

 

Sorry. :o

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I have heard that this is very common, actually, when moms go back to work - baby will sleep all day when they are away from mom, and be awake and alert when mom is home. I think its just because they wanna be with mama! My son is almost 5 months now, but he does this whenever I leave him with my mother to go out for the evening. He sleeps the whole time and wakes up to be with me as soon as I show up to get him - even after my mother feeds him 10-11 oz of breastmilk in 2 hours!!

 

And of course you know, every baby is different, so you can't expect your daughter to behave like your son.

 

It is true, though, babies just can't be in a routine when they are that young. My son was full term but no matter how much I tried, he wouldn't get into a routine until he was about 8-10 weeks old, I can't really remember. At least, according to my pediatrician - although he is a CIO doctor, so I don't really take what he has to say about behavioral issues seriously. I am an attachment parenting kind of gal, so you may or may not agree with my experience/opinion.

 

I totally intended to return to work after my baby was born. I didn't think I was cut out to be a stay at home mom. After he was born, I just couldn't be away from him. And I don't know how I would be able to maintain a breastfeeding relationship away from my son. My hats off to those moms who are able to do that. I am also blown away that you even wanted to go back to work that early. I was still healing, and according to my midwives it's not adviseable to do that much until your lochia stops. I actually tried to do too much around the house about 3 weeks after my son was born, and my lochia ot really heavy. On my midwife's advice, I took it easy and stopped bleeding by about 4.5 weeks after the birth.

 

To be honest, though, this is to be expected with a newborn. They have tiny tummies the size of a marble, and their cognitive goal at this time is to bond with a consistent caregiver. Does she fuss for 3 hours or more, three or more times a week? If this goes on consistently for 3+ weeks, she may just have colic.

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Oh sticking my neck out here.

Your daughter is in the best care when she is with you.

 

Money is irrelevant when it comes to measuring whether you should be making money, or being with your new baby.

If you desperately need the money, perhaps having a baby wasn't the ideal decision.

My opinion is that you should be with your dearest little one, and stuff the job.

Take your time going back to work.

You will never be able to re-capture and enjoy these formative first few months.....

 

My opinion.

 

Sorry. :o

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't think working 20-30 hrs a week makes me a bad mother. It isn't like my daughter is in daycare and away from family. My H has cut back his work schedule drastically so he can be with her more and I cut my schedule back from 60+ hrs. While I may be at work right now I do it so we can take 6 weeks of family vacation a yr...that is the whole family together 24hrs a day for 6 weeks. How many kids get mom and dad together like that??

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. Does she fuss for 3 hours or more, three or more times a week? If this goes on consistently for 3+ weeks, she may just have colic.

No she fusses for about 30 minutes to an hr around 3am. I think it may have to do with her milk being fortified. She will have to have fortified milk for another 2 weeks. I guess it is just impossible for me to sleep when I am aware that she is awake, even if she isn't complaining. She will spend an hr wiggling around in her bassinet grunting and stretching. I have a suspicion that her schedule will switch around once her due date passes. I guess I will live with it for now.

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Once she is full term you can play around more easily with schedules, feedings, formulas, and even amounts.

 

My daughter slept almost thru the night the whole time I was on maternity leave - and then started getting up for hours each night the day before I returned to work.

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't think working 20-30 hrs a week makes me a bad mother. It isn't like my daughter is in daycare and away from family. My H has cut back his work schedule drastically so he can be with her more and I cut my schedule back from 60+ hrs. While I may be at work right now I do it so we can take 6 weeks of family vacation a yr...that is the whole family together 24hrs a day for 6 weeks. How many kids get mom and dad together like that??

 

Kids who have a stay-at-home mum...... Maybe.......? One out of two, 24/7, ain't bad....

 

And I never said you were a bad mother.

I would never accuse anyone of that unless it was wanton neglect.

 

The fact that you have safeguarded your child's care to the people you love and trust the most, is not a mark of a bad mother.

 

But I sometimes just wonder why people have a child, if it's only to then get someone else to look after it.

 

Which is what I did with my first.

Until I realised that all I was actually doing was receiving my salary at the end of the month.....and syphoning it all, directly into my childminder's hands!

So I cut that out, and stayed home to care for her, and her sister, when she was born.

 

I didn't have the privilege of being able to call on those close to me to help care for my daughters, incidentally.

I had to resort to using a registered Local Childminder, who also came highly recommended.

 

You are an extremely lucky woman.

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Both of my daughter's were four weeks early so they started doing things four weeks later than most kids. Both of mine did the whole sleep all day, up from like 3am on too...it was horrible; however, it didn't last long. I tried to interact with them more during the day...tried to keep the tv or music on while they were in the same room with me, keep things bright, etc, etc...anything that might keep them awake and let them know it was daytime. Then when it was evening, quiet things down. I did read that at that age it is very hard to get them on a schedule that it isn't until they're around 2 to 3 months old. I felt the same way; like a zombie, especially with my second because I had a toddler running around the house that I had to attend to so napping wasn't happening while I was on maternity the second time around. Good luck...

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I have a suspicion that her schedule will switch around once her due date passes. I guess I will live with it for now.

I agree. A schedule that's every 3 hours, 24/7, isn't going to encourage a normal sleep rhythm. Don't know if you're already doing this... when feeding during the night, try no lights, no talking and no picking up. Less stimulation might shorten the fussing time.
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I agree. A schedule that's every 3 hours, 24/7, isn't going to encourage a normal sleep rhythm. Don't know if you're already doing this... when feeding during the night, try no lights, no talking and no picking up. Less stimulation might shorten the fussing time.

I will try that. Just not sure how good I am at changing a diaper in the dark but I will learn. Yeah... the every 3 hr schedule is really hard. Well her Dr. just changed her to a 3-4hr feeding schedule so maybe it will give me a little more rest.

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Just not sure how good I am at changing a diaper in the dark but I will learn.

I wasn't good at it until I left a little nightlight on in the corner. ;)

 

Might take several days for the new routine to normalize but I hope it works, for both of you.

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I will try that. Just not sure how good I am at changing a diaper in the dark but I will learn. Yeah... the every 3 hr schedule is really hard. Well her Dr. just changed her to a 3-4hr feeding schedule so maybe it will give me a little more rest.

 

I breastfeed on cue and my son (when he was that tiny) ate sometimes every 90 minutes. I got this tiny little nightlight to use so that I didn't have to turn on a lamp, but I was still able to see better, because he still pooed every time he breastfed at that time. Now he holds it in for 3-4 days sometimes, ha ha.

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Well I tried it last night. I had the house all quiet and kept the lights off while I fed her and blindly changed her diaper LOL (luckily she had pooped earlier). Before we went to bed my H kept her awake to play with her and when she finally fell asleep she stayed calm the rest of the night. Wow, I feel much better today. Thanks guys.

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Kids who have a stay-at-home mum...... Maybe.......? One out of two, 24/7, ain't bad....

Sorry for the late response here but I must address this one. I get what you are saying, but that is not always the best answer. If the other option is daycare then a stay at home mom is much better for the kids but that isn't my situation. I value my mother and sisters influence on my children's life and I think it is very beneficial for them to have 4-5 adults of blood relation raising them instead of 2. Even when I was a stay at home mom for a while with my son when he was a baby, I spent a large majority of the week at my mothers house so my mom and little sister could spend time with him...and he loved his time with them. My kids are with close family 24/7 and they get to have a change of scenery, instead of only having one house to play at they have two. Sure, I could just decide to be a stay at home mom right now and live off of $30-40k but my children's schedule wouldn't be any different. They would still spend a lot of time with grandma and auntie. So knowing that why should it matter if I go to work as well and let our income soar to well over $100k. Also in doing this they are able to get daddy more since he can afford to work part-time.

 

Sorry I just had to clarify since I know what type of career mom I am being compared to...that isn't me..my priorities are in line.

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absolutely.

Why?

 

Oh - this may be why she's fussy, why not try to nurse her when she gets fussy? Do you adhere to the feeding schedule strictly, or do you allow her to nurse whenever she shows signs of being hungry?

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Oh - this may be why she's fussy, why not try to nurse her when she gets fussy? Do you adhere to the feeding schedule strictly, or do you allow her to nurse whenever she shows signs of being hungry?

I nurse her whenever she acts hungry. I just make sure that it doesn't go longer then when scheduled. It is pretty obvious when she isn't hungry because she will take a mouthful of breast-milk and then spit it at me:laugh:.

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absolutely.

Why?

 

The reason I asked was because I know that breast milk is thinner than formula and sometimes breast feed babies don't sleep as long, that's what I was told when I was nursing 3 little ones. Now, if she is getting enough to eat and spitting milk out at you when shes had enough then it does not sound like a hunger issue. She probably needs to be kept awake more during the day so that she sleeps better during the night. This was the case with my first born. As soon as I stopped letting him fall of to sleep in the baby swing and kept him up, he was much more content at night. Good luck.

 

AP:)

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lonelyandfrustrated

I would bring the babies into my bed and nurse them while I slept. Do you rest during feedings? lol, some folks may balk at the idea of lying next to your child and sleeping while feeding them, but the breast has a built-in stop-flow mechanism so there is little chance of choking, and unless you're an 'active' sleeper, you aren't going to roll over and crush the baby. I did this with four kids without a single problem, but I only nursed each for about three months...the first one a little longer, the last one a little less. I wouldn't want to do that with a rolling baby.

 

And I hate to tell you this porter, but my 1st born started sleeping through the night after a few weeks...the 2nd never slept more than 2 hours at a time for nine entire months, until we began to let him just cry it out. I was exhausted by then (and also pregnant! grrr).

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And I hate to tell you this porter, but my 1st born started sleeping through the night after a few weeks...the 2nd never slept more than 2 hours at a time for nine entire months, until we began to let him just cry it out. I was exhausted by then (and also pregnant! grrr).

AHH:eek:... don't scare me like that.

 

Sometimes I try to keep her in the bed with me but the problem I run into is my milk supply is out of control so when she is done feeding I still leak. And also if I were to feed her while resting what do I do about the other breast?? I can't feed her from only one unless I want to be in a lot of pain in an hour or 2 with the other breast being engorged. I have always been curious about that when women tell me they just go to sleep with the baby on their breast and just sleep that way at night. I have to sleep with a freakin bra on with nursing pads in them to save my sheets from a milk bath.

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AHH:eek:... don't scare me like that.

 

Sometimes I try to keep her in the bed with me but the problem I run into is my milk supply is out of control so when she is done feeding I still leak. And also if I were to feed her while resting what do I do about the other breast?? I can't feed her from only one unless I want to be in a lot of pain in an hour or 2 with the other breast being engorged. I have always been curious about that when women tell me they just go to sleep with the baby on their breast and just sleep that way at night. I have to sleep with a freakin bra on with nursing pads in them to save my sheets from a milk bath.

 

I had an oversupply of milk in the early months, but I never slept with a bra on, even though my breasts are pretty darn big now - I use a prefold cloth diaper (the big rectangles that you fold and pin and use diaper covers with) and just lay it over the breast I am not nursing on and it absorbs the milk quite handily.

 

When I had a huge oversupply in the beginning, I would lay a flannel receiving blanket underneath the baby and I while I nursed him in the side lying position. The flannel is absorbent as well. Then, when I changed him during the night I would change the receiving blanket under us. Now that he's older my milk supply is regulated, unless I eat a lot of galactogogues that day (oatmeal, coffee, etc.)

 

I also switch sides throughout the night. I just hold him close to me and roll over and lay him on my other side. Then, he nurses on the other breast.

 

In the beginning, though, I would have to get up and hand express breastmilk sometimes just to relieve some engorgement.

 

It is true that, unless you are taking sedative medication, or are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it is nearly impossible to roll over your infant - unless you have a tendency to roll off the bed while you sleep. The same awareness that keeps you in your bed while you sleep prevents you from rolling over your baby. When I sleep with my son I am always oriented towards him and curled up around him, my legs up under his feet and my arm curled over his head. There are certain rules, though - don't have a lot of pillows, don't have fluffy covers.

 

I do have a side rail on my side of the bed, and we took the mattress off of the frame and put the boxsprings and mattress directly on the floor, just in case, though.

 

I attended a web seminar on cosleeping and bedsharing when my son was about 6 weeks old to learn how to share sleep safely.

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RecordProducer
While I may be at work right now I do it so we can take 6 weeks of family vacation a yr...that is the whole family together 24hrs a day for 6 weeks. How many kids get mom and dad together like that??
Porter, the vacation is absolutely unimportant for your baby. It's important to YOU. Nobody called you a bad mother, but people pointed out that your baby needs you. You will not get any magical answers as to getting your daughter to sleep all night. We don't have them; we also spent sleepless nights feeding our children. If you don't want to quit working for a while, then all you can really do is collect breast milk before you go to sleep (unlikely to have it after breastfeeding her) or use formula and have your husband or someone else wake up and feed her. But your husband also works and your mother probably doesn't live with you.

 

What can we tell you? You want to have a baby, but you don't feel like being a mother. You don't want to sacrifice the money or the vacation. So you end up sacrificing yourself and your sleep. Either change something or suck it up and wait for the negative side effects of lack of sleep to kick in, which will affect your entire family.

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