ImThinkingWTF Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 ok im a single mom. i have a 4 year old. I moved to this city to be closer to my support system. ie: my mom. well recently my mom told me that she "wishes i would just get a boyfriend and get married". I moved here, to be near her. for the whole life of my child, she has been there for me. now, i am finally -- after forever, ready to start dating again. and NOW after all this time of helping me when i needed her to help me, she decides that shes never available to keep my child. i am a single parent. i dont have a lot of money for a babysitter nor do i trust anyone. im just really annoyed. not so much at her, but at myself. i love my kid more than anything but, damn, i am feeling like i will never be able to date like a normal person because of scheduling. i cant just drop by on a moments notice to hang out. i need days and days notice in advance. my kid is glued to my side so, anytime i get a phone call i cant even talk in peace. so no phone calls until after 9 im pretty sure me talking to a potential date and my kid talking in the background isnt the most attractive thing. now, dont get me wrong. my child is my number 1 priority but, i need some romance! Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Boy, have I been there. I didn't move to where my Mom lives, but I had no babysitter(s) for my kids in order to date. I couldn't afford to pay anyone and had no family within 700 miles. It was a very rough time. On occasion a friend would offer to babysit, but that was usually when she was setting me up with someone. I didn't have many friends, either. I wasn't smart/ambitious enough to think of this when I was struggling. I know you have trust issues, but there must be other single Moms in your area in the same shoes. My best advice is to join forces. Through word of mouth, internet (Craig's list,) playgroups (daycare?,) advertising, or whatever means you can come up with, devise a networking group. A coalition of 3-4 Moms in the same predicament could be a real asset to one another. One could babysit for the others once every 3-4 weeks on a rotation basis. Is it ideal? Does it allow for spur of the moment plans? No. But it would give each of you a needed break on occasion and allow you to date fairly frequently. I didn't say it would be easy, either, but it's an option. you always have options. Even married women might want to have a date night but have few babysitting resources. It would be free to all, just requiring a trade-off night. 4 Moms, 4 Saturdays per month. Each Mom could have 3 of those Saturdays as free to date nights if each is willing to take on the kid(s) of the other three. More Moms could make the deal sweeter, but it would also require a fairly regular "slumber party." Good luck with your dilemma! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 that is a great great great idea....and I nevvver in a million years would have thought of that. thank you sooo much!!! *scurries away to post on every networking site i can find. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 We Mom's stick together. Especially single Mom's. The internet wasn't even an option for me in my worst days, but VOILA! Here it is! Good luck in your networking! Link to post Share on other sites
Little Saint Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Hey what about single dads, I feel we get forgotton about:( Link to post Share on other sites
MissMaris Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Yes, that was great advice! Good luck. I hope you can find a support system of peers. I think they'll be just the type of friends you need. Nobody understands single parenthood like other single parents. They'll be there to nod and smile sympathetically when you talk about having to do it all alone, finding people to date who understand your priorities, the financial struggles, the fear of having to be both a mother and a father. I feel for your mom, too, actually. I'm sure you're frustrated with her, but it may be possible that she's already done raising her kids and wants some 'adult' time of her own now. So try to be understanding of her dilemma. I'm sure she loves her grandchild, but she worked hard to bring you up and if she needs a break, she should get one. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
GALT Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 There is a forum that I go to on single parent travel dot net that seems pretty good. A lot about travel but there are areas for raising kids and dealign with issues! Link to post Share on other sites
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