Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Familial > Parenting

How can I break my 3 year old from sleeping with us?

Parenting Discuss tips, concerns, and all the mayhem involved in raising kids.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 14th October 2006, 8:08 AM   #1
New Member
Abenaki Blood's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 9
How can I break my 3 year old from sleeping with us?

I am in the middle of saving my marriage and I crave a night alone with my wife just to cuddle her. Our son has never once slept in our bed because we learned from the first one not to do that, but we can't seem to find a way to keep her in her room. I bought her a tv and vcr and tons of movies. Those worked for a few weeks but they no longer work. I feel guilty because I love my daughter to death, I just miss sleeping alone with my wife.

Any suggestions?
Abenaki Blood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th October 2006, 7:58 PM   #2
Posts: n/a
Wink It's Simple!

You or your spouse,
Try sleeping with your child in His or Her OWN room at night (Instead of having the child to sleep with you in your bedroom). Provide night light(s) and comfort things for the child to sleep with such as, favorite stuffed animal.
Sweet Dreams!
  Reply With Quote
Old 14th October 2006, 8:12 PM   #3
Established Member
laRubiaBonita's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Up your Butt (!)
Posts: 8,207
it will not be a quick fix.... unless you lock her in her room.

tv's are NOT good fix for anything..... IMO.

i would suggest, either you or your wife, read a story or two to her around 8:30 each night, same time each night..... children THrive on structure. initially try and let her fall asleep, lay with her, then leave when she goes.

you just need to instill some bopunderies, and it is hard, at first..... but alone time in YOUR own bed with Your wife...... that is important!
‎"I am willing to move out of my comfort zone and experience life in a new way." ~ Louise L. Hay
laRubiaBonita is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th October 2006, 1:04 AM   #4
Established Member
JamesM's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In Between Two Large Bodies of Water
Posts: 8,485
Totally understand.

Sleep with her for awhile until she falls asleep in her rrom.

When she comes in your room at night, carry her back to hers.

If she starts out in your bed, carry her to her room. If she comes back, do it again.

Be not give up. Do not make her bed a punishment, but never let yours be the reward. Consistency is the key.

We still let one of ours sleep initially in our bed, but I carry him off to bed when we go to bed. He doesn't come back any more.

She needs to know that her bed is for her. She needs to feel secure there. And she needs to know that she won't be able to sttay in yours.

The TV and VCR? Bad, bad idea. Her coming to your room is being rewarded.
"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."
JamesM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th October 2006, 7:00 AM   #5
New Member
Abenaki Blood's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Thanks for the comments. I will put her TV in the play room then. I hadn't really thought about it. Thanks for the tips.
Abenaki Blood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2006, 11:18 AM   #6
Established Member
littlekitty's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Berkshire, UK
Posts: 3,470
All good comments!!

LBR is right, bedroom is not the place for a tv for a child of this age.

1) Formulate the bedtime routine, stick to it. Consistancy is the key here. Make sure they know they are winding down for bed. Perhaps even draw up a chart with the bedtime routine so they know each step. Read a book in their room, and if necessary stay with them for a while.

2) Use rapid return when they get up from bed. Do not engage the child in conversation. The first two times, say 'It's time for bed' and return the child to bed. After that, no conversation just return the child to bed. **Note, you might have to do this 50-100 times a night at first, but if you continue to be consistant with the method you will see results.

3) Once you have the child sleeping through in their own bed you need to start using the slow withdraw method. For example instead of cuddling next to child in their bed, just sit next to the bed (no interaction) until they fall asleep. Next move to the door and sit there (no interation) until they fall alseep. Eventually you should be able to put down your child and leave the room.
littlekitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2006, 11:29 AM   #7
Established Member
hotgurl's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ski country
Posts: 5,041
My daughter had this problem though it was caused by a diffferent reason.

Here's what I did.

I made sure bedtime was the same time everynight. 1/2 hour before bedtime I would let her know bedtime was coming up and start getting her ready. This included getting into pj, reading a booka nd singing a song while rubbing her back. She also had a nighlight and it helped her to have a music box set while she was falling asleep.

I followed the bedtime routine consistanly.

If she got up and she did a lot at first. I would put her back to bed. I know at 1 am it's pretty tempting to say screw it and let them sleep with you but don't do it.

Basically that's it. It did take several motnhs for her to stop getting up in the middle of the night to sleep with me.
Music is my hot hot sex.
hotgurl is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Girlfriend admits to sleeping with someone after 1 week break yawhatever Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 30 8th March 2006 12:55 PM
on a break. we broke up but says he'll want to get back together in a year. xyz_212 Breaks and Breaking Up 3 23rd November 2005 8:29 PM
Raltion break up after 7 year [long] taylor3205 Second Chances 7 31st October 2005 5:19 PM
Sleeping with someone while on a break.... is starting again normal? notsurewhattodo Breaks and Breaking Up 4 20th July 2005 7:34 AM
Questions on a 3 year relationship, having a break and No Contact Urban Rubble Second Chances 30 26th September 2004 2:05 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:29 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.