Tim'sAngel Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Short version: My mother is 47 and has been separated from my dad since '03 (My dad left her) After 3 unhappy depressive years she is engaged to be remarried in June to a man I hardly know. I am happy that she is moving on w/her life as most of her time was spent crying over her failed marriage, but seriously, we hardly know this man!! She met him on a Christian online dating site, and I can't speak because I met my S/O who I am now living with on an online dating site also, but I knew him almost a year before we got involved romantically, she only knew her fiance a few months and met him in person twice before they became engaged!!!! I try to get along with him and let him spend time w/my 1 year old son who he seems to adore, but sometimes, I don't feel comfortable with him being around my son alone. Not that I think he would do anyting questionable, I just don't know him!! Now my mom is saying she wants my son to come stay with them in the summer, and I just don't know if I'm ok with that. Also, he seems to have a really weird family. There are more factors in this that would take way to long to mention them all. I had a talk w/my mom about this and she seems to take offense to my attitude and says she thinks I resent the relationship. I don't think this is true, I am truely happy that she is happy. Im just not sure she is with the right man. I don't want this to strain my relationship w/my mother because our relationship is already rocky. I just hope this isn't going to discourage me from going to see them because I know she loves me and is so attached to her grandson. Has anyone else had to go through getting used to new step parents? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I think you're right to be leery. This isn't about a new step-parent, it's about a new unknown person in your life. Tell them they're welcome to come to your town to visit in the summer but you have plans for your child (if you don't have any, make some quick) and prefer to have him with you this year. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 You have to do what you're comfortable with, especially as regards your son. If you feel uneasy, go with your gut. It may cause some problems with your mother but that's preferable to worrying about your son over the time he'd be there. You're the mom. You have the control. Use it! I'm on the opposite side of the fence. I'm the stepdad. My stepdaughters were 20 and 22 when my wife and I married. The girst are now 29 and 31 and have disliked me from day-one. They were still living with their mother when she and I got together and they feel as if I've stolen her from them even now, going on 10 years later. I simply encourage my wife to have whatever relationship she wants to have with them and stay out of the way. The older one is especially toxic towards me because she never believed her mopther belonged with anyone but her father even though they'd been divorced for 18 years when we got together. That he died a year later (killed himself with a booze and drug overdose) didn't help. Step situations can be maddening! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tim'sAngel Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 See I am going out of my way to not become the bitter step daughter. I am very happy for my mom and he is a very nice guy. He always buys my son and I stuff when he comes down to visit and does things like that to show he really cares. Like I said I don't think he would do anything funny, I just don't know him enough to make any judgement just yet. And see he has 2 daughters and a son, and they haven't made any effort to get to know my mom. Neither of is daughters talk to there dad because there psycho mother turned them against him. It's just so weird. I fear for my mom getting mixed up in that drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts