Conniving niece ruining family

[fed up]

OK,

 

I really need somebody's help. My brother's kids are driving my daughter to a breakdown and ruining every family gathering.

 

First some background. In short, my niece who just turned 6 sneaks around when she knows nobody can hear her and says mean things to our 7 year old. Things like I don't like you, you're not my favorite cousin, you're not nice, etc. My wife and I have caught her numerous times because we actually watch what the kids are doing unlike other people.

 

The thing is our daughter is great. I know, I know, there's only one perfect child and every father has it. But really, our daughter is very smart, very thoughtful of other peoples feelings, uses her words to ask, polite, etc.

 

But my brothers son and daughter are unstoppable. For example, this last summer, she was needling our daughter over and over and over to which our daughter kept asking to be left alone. After about 20 times (really) our daughter broke down crying (breakdown style) and said "I'm done, I can't take it anymore"

 

These kids were essentially raised by nannies the first 3 years of life and my brother and his wife never discipline their kids or even keep an eye on them when they are at family events. Their just too absorbed into whatever show they're watching or National Enquirer they're reading to notice that their kid is annoying everybody in the room and my daughter has asked 10 times to be left alone (and their daughter just keeps following her around). I don't think it is my place to be disciplining their kids and when we do, they claim it is our daughters fault.

 

I know personally that my twin brother and wife have stopped coming to family events because of the same type of behaviour and my sisters 10 year old actually locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour, crying most of the time just to get away. Of course my nephew was banging on the door the whole time if you can believe it.

 

The hard thing is they are so sneaky. Alot of the time you don't know these things have happened until after the fact because you know how good kids don't usually tell until after the fact. Doesn't it seem like the bad ones are the first to come crying when something doesn't go their way (yeah, they do that too).

 

The latest thing was that our daughter was at grandma's house over the weekend and told her that on Thanksgiving the niece told her all about the magic of christmas. Just the thing she would do just to be malicious.

 

I called my brother tonight and told him to make sure she doesn't talk about it again and because there is a three year old running around too. He actually had the nerve to say "no, I think she may have told mine at dinner". What??? What an ass! What he heard was this exchange with my wife sitting next to our daughter:

 

My daughter: "My friend caught him on video"

Niece: "Well, I'm not going to believe you because you didn't believe what I told you"

 

Riiiiiight. My brother called me back and gave me some off the wall story. I know full well that she thought she was going to get in trouble, which would never happen in my brothers' house, and says she said "you don't believe in SC because you won't let me play with your doll". What? Somehow in his world this makes sense? Not his daughter. Why would my daughter talk to her Grandma based on this?

 

Anyway, I am so done with all of them! No supervision, no discipline, bratty, disrespectful, selfish kids.

 

Whew, thanks for letting me vent.

 

Here's my question. I know for a fact when XMAS rolls around and my sister comes to town with her daughter there will be three girls. Three kids is a bad number to begin with. I know the niece will start the verbal abuse quickly and want some suggestions about how to stop it once and for all.

 

My wife and I are sick and tired of getting accussed of fighting our daughters battles. Somebody has to if your kid won't respect requests to be left alone.

 

My wife and I have tried to come up with good retorts our daughter could use when the "I don't like you" stuff starts up.

 

I really don't think those are going to do the trick. Words to this point are worthless. As much as I don't want to do this, I think my daughter is going to have to knock her cousin straight on her ass to get her point across once and for all. The verbal abuse has to stop. Any suggestions?

 

I am sick of a spoiled, bratty, conniving 6 year old running things like a game of survivor and everybody treating her with kid gloves! I love my brother but I love my daughter more.