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shizzle_84

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shizzle_84

For so long now - years close to a decode - I've been living with so much anger. I hate my family. I hate how they've continually failed me. Again and again I've been left out of the loop. The black sheep.

 

I used to think my mom was innocent, but in some ways she's complicit too. And that some of the "sin" had to be on her as well.

 

This is ****ing confusing.

 

Feels like I've come to the end of the road - and there's no one to reach out to for help. Damn I need to start making some ****ing FRIENDS.

 

It hurts to have my family do this to me.

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Dysfunctional families cause a lot of damage.

 

If you still live with them, make plans to move out as soon as possible. Get your own life & put distance in here. Know they will always be this way so have no expectations as hard as that can be

 

Perhaps seek therapy so you can build some of the skills you didn't get in childhood.

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Empower yourself so you don’t have to depend on help from your family.

 

The place firm boundaries with them.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

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It hurts to have my family do this to me.

 

If 84 is your birth year, you're 35 years old - and way past being able to use your family as an excuse for your dissatisfaction with life. Waiting for someone else to empower your success or deliver your happiness is a losing proposition, as those qualities come from within.

 

I'd guess a counselor would be valuable in helping you see how you might move forward. Right now, the thing holding you back is you...

 

Mr. Lucky

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If you are old enough to leave, then try that out and see if it makes you feel better overall.

 

I know that once I am able, I will never speak to or see my step-father again. Sometimes we are dealt the cards we are dealt, and all we can do is work with what we have. I wish you the best.

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One of my favorite quotes to repeat to others beside my sig is

“if you think you’re enlightened than go spend time with your family”

 

Took me a while to fully grasp this. And then to be around them a lot showed me all the things they were taught by their parents. How they react to each other. How they affect each other. It kind of made me realize all the things I was taught. Including the most freeing realization that I’m a Victim if circumstances. How one brother got treated better than me. How I was the black sheep. When really I never was. In a sense I have been more successful than all my brothers and have even been told by all of them. Not in the same ways though. As a parent myself I’ve been the go to for my older brothers and family for how to handle their children. How to not teach the hings they were taught by our father and mother to their kids. My one step brother once broke down in front of me about our father. How he didn’t want to be like him. I smiled and told him. Thank dad for all the things he lacked and all the things he did that he shouldn’t have. He was teaching you what not to do and what to do all at the same time.

 

When I realized no matter how corrupted my family is I don’t have to be that anymore. I could choose and do choose to be better. By simple actions like not getting angry at the way they act and treat others and myself. That action in itself has changed our whole dynamic and taught my parents to slowly let go of the things they were taught as well. Without even saying a word and just not letting the insanity of others affect me I effectively help them!

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