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My cousin can never stick to a plan to get together


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 26th February 2019, 11:03 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
How far distance wise is your cousin from where you are?

I have some cousins I rarely see, they live far away and the few times a year I do see them it's great but most of the time communication is online or a phone call/skype.

I think you're putting way too much pressure on this friendship with your cousin, too much energy and emotion. You don't really "know" her and are reconnecting as adults. Slow down and get busy with other friends, don't let this be your only focus otherwise you're going to drive yourself crazy.

Your cousin has a busy life and I think if you lower your expectation level you'll feel happier and just accept things as they are now and hope that will come to the reunion so you two can hang out then.

She lives more than an hour away, itís not a short drive. But itís not like she canít ever come down. If itís something she wants to do she would. Plus she should be coming and seeing her mom more. I donít believe that sheís that busy. Sheís on fb all the time and is a full time wife. She goes out to lunch and dinner with friends frequently. I believe she just gets overwhelmed with simple things.

I guess now I have to just forget about her. I reached out. I made the effort.
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Old 27th February 2019, 5:50 PM   #77
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Unbelievable....

I used a gif that said Actions speak louder than words.

And she hit LOVE. Iím talking about her!!!!
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Old 27th February 2019, 6:00 PM   #78
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Vague passive aggressive messages are easily misinterpreted.
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Old 27th February 2019, 9:57 PM   #79
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Now I'm wondering how much of this is in your head and your own spin on things. She is someone you 'barely' know now and certainly you two are not besties. Your expectation level is so high when it comes to her!

It's very possible you two aren't close in her mind and she just wants to keep things simple and online until the timing is better. You seem to be reading into everything she says or does, like she's playing you for a fool. Honestly she probably isn't giving much thought to you and all this drama you're creating for yourself. Focus on your face to face friends that you see often and less on her. Take a break and stop thinking of this so much, otherwise it's going to drive you crazy.
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Old 27th February 2019, 9:59 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Intevel80 View Post
She lives more than an hour away, itís not a short drive. But itís not like she canít ever come down. If itís something she wants to do she would. Plus she should be coming and seeing her mom more. I donít believe that sheís that busy. Sheís on fb all the time and is a full time wife. She goes out to lunch and dinner with friends frequently. I believe she just gets overwhelmed with simple things.

I guess now I have to just forget about her. I reached out. I made the effort.
You two don't "know" one another well so leave it at that. Casual and a cousin that you see once in a blue moon though stay in touch online. She has a busy life with her family and friends, her actions show you she isn't rushing to meet up with you, so stop asking her to get together. All you're doing is hurting yourself.

If someone is interested they will make the effort. She does, online but not face to face so leave it alone.
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Old 27th February 2019, 11:17 PM   #81
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..........................
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Old 28th February 2019, 4:23 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
Now I'm wondering how much of this is in your head and your own spin on things. She is someone you 'barely' know now and certainly you two are not besties. Your expectation level is so high when it comes to her!

It's very possible you two aren't close in her mind and she just wants to keep things simple and online until the timing is better. You seem to be reading into everything she says or does, like she's playing you for a fool. Honestly she probably isn't giving much thought to you and all this drama you're creating for yourself. Focus on your face to face friends that you see often and less on her. Take a break and stop thinking of this so much, otherwise it's going to drive you crazy.

She was also the one that said she would help with anything I needed for our upcoming family event. She said whatever I need.

She hasnít done a thing. Hasnít showed up. And just says to keep her posted.
She has actually irked other relatives. We have to know the cost for what she plans to do but sheís been too busy to get back to us.

Iím starting to not think too highly of her. Iíve been told sheís flaky and super emotional.
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:46 AM   #83
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Why is this all so important to you?
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:44 PM   #84
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Why is this all so important to you?


I guess the way I should look at it is the hell with her
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Old 28th February 2019, 7:08 PM   #85
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You need to quit demanding too much from people. In friendships, there is everything from someone says hello when you pass and that is all to a full-time union and everything in between is most common. You can't demand more than what people are willing to do. It's rude.
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Old 1st March 2019, 12:47 AM   #86
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I may have missed it in one of the posts, but have you thought of going to HER? Tell her you are going to be in her area one day and would love to invite her to lunch or meet her somewhere public. I'm sure you could find some event going on in her area where the two of you could spend some time in a neutral location.
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Old 1st March 2019, 1:26 AM   #87
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Originally Posted by Intevel80 View Post
I guess the way I should look at it is the hell with her
Again, why is this so important to you? I can't see how any of this warrants such a strong reaction from you. An element of disappointment, sure. But not this.
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Old 1st March 2019, 8:38 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by Intevel80 View Post
I used a gif that said Actions speak louder than words.

And she hit LOVE. I’m talking about her!!!!
She interpreted that gif to mean that you finally understood. Her actions in not coming are telling you all you need to know: Back off!
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