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My cousin can never stick to a plan to get together


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 22nd February 2019, 5:55 PM   #31
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Don't confront her or be blunt or rude. Be honest and speak from your heart. Let her know that it's been hurting your feelings that she keeps cancelling. Tell her that you were really looking forward to spending time with her and getting to know her again as adults. Say that you understand she has a son and is busy much of the time but would it mean a lot to you if she made time for soon.

You're assuming a lot of her and her life seeing as you don't know her well or see of often enough.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:02 PM   #32
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I asked my dad if I can write that and he says noooo. Even though we think it sounds fine, he thinks it sounds awful. He thinks itís very passive aggressive.

If your dad thinks it's bad, in the interest of family harmony, don't send it.


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Now I keep on getting let down. And Iím upset and itís not as easy as just turning off a light switch. So Iím not sure what I can do to not care anymore.
You change it by recognizing that she's unreliable & then you stop caring. Right now you still think there is something you can do to motive her.

I'm sorry you are hurting but when you continue to engage with her, you set yourself up to be disappointed again & again. Just stop talking to her. Write her off as a flake. Then go do something fun that doesn't make you crazy.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:11 PM   #33
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Okay so write her off as a flake? I wonder if there’s any way she can know I know that. She writes 2 page apology letters for not coming. Why does she do that? Anyways last time she did that, my response back was very short. I wonder if that gives her a hint. Or if she thinks I believe her spiel.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th February 2019 at 5:05 PM.. Reason: Redact quote of prior post
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:48 PM   #34
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You don’t understand. We have exchanged thousands of messages.
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She might not write for 3 months because she says life is busy, even though she don’t work a job.
Trying to do the math to reconcile these two statements. Why don't you go visit her?

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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:49 PM   #35
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Does it matter?

We can't fix her. You are the one who is here. So you are the one I'm trying to help.

The best thing you can do for yourself is give up.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:52 PM   #36
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.

Trying to do the math to reconcile these two statements.

Why don't you go visit her?

Mr. Lucky


I don’t mind visiting her but she didn’t invite me. My friend says I need an excuse.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:53 PM   #37
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LOL
ten characters.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:53 PM   #38
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Does it matter?

We can't fix her. You are the one who is here. So you are the one I'm trying to help.

The best thing you can do for yourself is give up.

But if it best to tell her Iím hurt before giving up?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:54 PM   #39
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LOL
ten characters.


What do you mean?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 6:59 PM   #40
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I donít mind visiting her but she didnít invite me.
So she doesn't invite you to come see her. And she doesn't follow through on plans to come see you.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm....

Mr. Lucky
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:06 PM   #41
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But if it best to tell her Iím hurt before giving up?
No. Just stop trying to get together.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:37 PM   #42
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Okay so write her off as a flake? I wonder if thereís any way she can know I know that. She writes 2 page apology letters for not coming. Why does she do that? Anyways last time she did that, my response back was very short. I wonder if that gives her a hint. Or if she thinks I believe her spiel.
Don't respond to her messages anymore then she will get the idea you think she's a flake.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:39 PM   #43
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So she doesn't invite you to come see her. And she doesn't follow through on plans to come see you.<snip>
It's obvious the cousin doesn't want to be bothered except to write her feelings down and send a letter. That's all she wants. I would leave her alone for good.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th February 2019 at 5:07 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:42 PM   #44
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So she doesn't invite you to come see her. And she doesn't follow through on plans to come see you.<snip>
But she was the one that said she wanted to come visit. She was literally 2 days away and she messaged me before and said she is so looking forward to it.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th February 2019 at 5:07 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:43 PM   #45
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It's obvious the cousin doesn't want to be bothered except to write her feelings down and send a letter. That's all she wants. I would leave her alone for good.


Then why did she say she wants to come and was about to come until she found out she had something else?
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