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Braless. Have I done something wrong?


Lozza1

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Hey

 

I joined here because it seems the best place to ask this. I just wanted some opinions please and advice if I've done something wrong. Yesterday I was at home doing not much and we have had tradesmen working on the walls inside the house for a few days because of some water leaks we had

 

To try to make a long story short, I'm pretty sure I'm like most women and when I'm at home I don't wear a bra and basically my mom came home and noticed I wasn't wearing a bra under my top. I never do at home because of comfort but my mom kinda went off at me and said it was not appropriate for me to be braless when tradesmen are here working.

 

I just want to know if what my mom said is true or if she's over reacting? I don't have big boobs. And I was wearing a top obviously but just no bra underneath. So I don't really see the issue I will say that even though i don't have big boobs, i guess you could say my nipples are not small but Is this any reason why I should wear a bra if someone is here?

 

Basically my mom pretty much said it looks awful and its very inappropriate when tradesmen are here. Is she right or is she over reacting do you think?

 

Thanks

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thefooloftheyear

IMO. she's right....

 

Heck, I see women out there in public with their tits riding right above their navel, looking like a sweat sock with a bunch of coins at the bottom...I also see men and women out in their pajamas...

 

But that's their right, Id never say anything to anyone and at the end of the day, what they do is their business...I can think its inappropriate as does your mom., but at the end of the day, its your choice...

 

 

TFY

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Happy Lemming

My girlfriend goes out in public (to the store, etc.) from time to time. without a bra on. She is a "C" cup, (nipples are average). No big deal... I don't care either way. If we are going out to a restaurant, she'll always wear a bra, but a quick trip (locally) she doesn't bother with it.

 

You've covered your body (with the work man in the house), you're fine.

 

The few times I caught (trade jobs) drywall, tiling, painting, etc. for other people, my goal was to get in, get out and collect my check. I could care less what the owners of the home were wearing. I'd prefer if they left me alone and let me work, I didn't like homeowners hanging over me and watching every move. I'm sure you just let them in and left them alone to do their job.

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littleblackheart
Thanks for your reply. I'm 18

 

Thanks. As a mother, I can see her point. If my daughter was walking around braless with workmen in the house, I would most likely be a bit protective of you and have the same reaction.

 

You haven't done anything wrong, imo. It's not about stifling your freedom (I assume she's normally ok with you being braless in the house?) it's more about avoiding potentially embarrassing situations.

 

But I also remember being 18... :)

 

I think on this occasion, you could perhaps strike a compromise and wear a bra when the workmen are in. It's only temporary, and you'll be back to your usual braless left in no time - plus you'll be avoiding an unnecessary tiff with your mom!

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Your mother is overreacting.

 

Oh no, you have breasts!

 

Tell her, however gently you have to, that you’ll do what you want around the house. There is no need to shame you for choosing comfort.

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You shouldn't be required to wear something uncomfortable just because men are around. Frankly, I find this sort of thinking so very patriarchal - would your mum tell your brother that he needed to wear, say, a tie (honestly, I can't think of anything men EVER wear that is as uncomfortable as a bra, so this is the best I can come up with) in the house just because the female cleaner was coming? Eugh.

 

On the other hand... you do live under her roof, presumably rent-free, so unfortunately I think you do need to compromise somewhat. When you are able to move out, you can look forward to being bra-free whenever you want. :)

 

As an alternative compromise, maybe tell your mum that if she buys you one of those nipple pasties, you can wear it for these occasions. They tend to be more comfy, just expensive because they're limited-use.

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Your mom is just being protective of you - and in a normal way, not overly protective. You are 18, you are in your physical prime but not experienced in life yet so she's watching out for you. She's your mom!

 

This is probably not an issue you want to wage a battle about. If I have workmen coming in I either put on a bra or I wear something like a baggy sweatshirt where being bra-less isn't so obvious. I'm still comfy but avoid any awkwardness.

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major_merrick

I think it depends on three things - Breast size, type/color of shirt fabric, and nipple size/color.

 

I have large breasts...no way in hell I'm going braless outside of the bedroom. It just doesn't work for me. My GFs have tiny breasts...I don't think my GF#1 even owns a bra because she is washboard flat. However, her nipples are huge and very dark, so light-colored shirts or thin fabrics are a no-go.

 

For comfort, a black t-shirt is often a great thing to wear. Shows nothing, but is very light and easy.

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Oh, hey, I sympathize, but she's right. There are actually men out there who think boobs are an invitation to have sex, even more who think boobs without a bra are an invitation to have sex, even more still who think boobs without a bra around strange men is a desperate invitation to have sex.

 

Here's what I do: I have three vests, one for summer (denim) and two leather ones for winter. My lawn man has a habit of showing up uninvited, so I got them just for him. So I can throw that on before opening the door.

 

However, if I know a man is coming over to work ahead of time, I put on a bra, and you need to too. There's too many guys who make something of it, think you're a sex fiend, etc., think you're indiscriminate.

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I'm pretty sure I'm like most women and when I'm at home I don't wear a bra

 

I'd guess when you're working or at school, you wear a bra because you think it's appropriate. The same standards should apply if someone's working inside your house.

 

Like most people, I also dress differently if I know I'll be around others...

 

Mr. Lucky

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More and more, I question who decided that it was “appropriate” for women to wear bras. Says who, exactly ... ?

 

I actually don’t mean that to be a combative question, it’s sincere. It’s kind of like high school dress codes that include shorts that come down below the fingertips and no visible bra straps. Why, so the boys can go through their days with slightly fewer erections?

 

Why must a woman’s choice of dress be policed? Why can’t we socialize boys and men to respect a woman’s bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear? If I go braless in my own home while a plumber is there, and he decides he wants to take advantage of me, he’s firmly in the wrong. A lack of a bra is NOT an invitation.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

My daughter is almost 18. If she did this, I wouldn't be happy. She would never do it, though. She's too modest.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Why can’t we socialize boys and men to respect a woman’s bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear?

 

All the socialization in the world isn't going to make boobs less attractive to men. I think we can do our part to not shove them in their faces, especially when it comes to a teenager and adult men.....

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thefooloftheyear

I don't think anyone is policing anything...

 

Heck, I am old enough to remember(even though I was a kid) when its was pretty commonplace to see women without bras Especially in summer...Oh those "tube tops"....:):laugh:

 

Too bad then that most of the women that went braless were actually the types that wouldn't get male attention no matter what they did...Same for the nude beaches...:sick:

 

But a mother telling an 18 year old to wear something appropriate around men is just a motherly thing to do...As a dad to a young woman not quite 18 Id give the same advice...

 

TFY

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All the socialization in the world isn't going to make boobs less attractive to men. I think we can do our part to not shove them in their faces, especially when it comes to a teenager and adult men.....

 

Yes, but, again ... so what? A man can’t see a set of untethered breasts and expected to keep control of himself? I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Yes, but, again ... so what? A man can’t see a set of untethered breasts and expected to keep control of himself? I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that.

 

I don't think the OP said the men in question couldn't control themselves. As a parent, I would not want those men going home and thinking about/remembering what my teenage daughter looked like with no bra on. There's no shame in just removing the temptation when you have no idea who you're dealing with.

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There have literally been men on here who think because they notice a woman's boobs means the woman wants them. Literally. More than one. There was a study a few years ago that showed men photos of attractive and less attractive women and asked which ones of the women would be attracted to them -- and a vast majority chose the prettiest women and believed those women would be attracted to them -- because they were attracted to them and for no other reason.

 

So if a woman purposefully doesn't wear a bra around some workers, at least some of them are probably thinking you're doing it to make them attracted to you.

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thefooloftheyear
I don't think the OP said the men in question couldn't control themselves. As a parent, I would not want those men going home and thinking about/remembering what my teenage daughter looked like with no bra on. There's no shame in just removing the temptation when you have no idea who you're dealing with.

 

Right...

 

I mean, a fart is just a normal human bodily function, but I wouldn't think most people would find it acceptable to walk into a room full of people and let one go...

 

I know boundaries like to be pushed nowadays, but at the end of the day, its more to do with general decorum and class..

 

TFY

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Of course, everything is fair play if the worker is bending over showing his butt crack the whole time. But still.....you don't really want to get THAT GUY excited, right?

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healing light

Personally, I think your mom overreacted. But I'm not very busty and also like to go braless in the home, haha. I mean, I don't tend to wear see-through t-shirts, nor do I hang around excessively in an area when work men are over--so I think it depends a bit on the context. I do find your mom going off on you about it to be a bit harsh and tend to agree with losangelena on this one. In public, I'd always wear a bra. In the privacy of my own home with workers in an adjacent room? Maybe not.

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