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Braless. Have I done something wrong?


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 18th February 2019, 4:43 AM   #31
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sports bra.
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Old 18th February 2019, 5:12 AM   #32
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Tell your mom to hire women to work in your house.
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Old 18th February 2019, 8:35 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
There have literally been men on here who think because they notice a woman's boobs means the woman wants them. Literally. More than one. There was a study a few years ago that showed men photos of attractive and less attractive women and asked which ones of the women would be attracted to them -- and a vast majority chose the prettiest women and believed those women would be attracted to them -- because they were attracted to them and for no other reason.

So if a woman purposefully doesn't wear a bra around some workers, at least some of them are probably thinking you're doing it to make them attracted to you.
This is because in many cases, those guys would be right. I have been there myself. A lot of ladies like to put on a little bit of a show and I have caught them checking to see if I was looking at them. If I was hired to work on someone's home and their 18-year-old daughter was hanging around with her nipples poking out, I would probably think this about her. Now, if she just happened to walk by once to get a drink from the fridge or something, I wouldn't think much, but I have noticed that it rarely ends there.
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Old 18th February 2019, 9:11 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by losangelena View Post
A man can’t see a set of untethered breasts and expected to keep control of himself?
You make a good general point but sometimes motherly instincts trump the feminist stance.

What if mum saw one of the workmen look at her daughter lavisciously?

I barely wear a bra myself; I went to work braless by accident (it was hot, I forgot to put one on) a couple of years ago. There were no students and barely any colleagues but the walk to my office was not my favourite time - I was looked at not just by the couple of men who were there, but by the women in the admin office too.

I am a woman in my 40s, I've never been fussed about how people see me - I very rarely wear make-up and sometimes go to uni in jeans and trainers - so I just shrugged it off. As a mother, I would want to protect my daughter from this; especially if she's a pretty 18yo with a bit of a rebellious streak.
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Old 18th February 2019, 9:22 AM   #35
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Your mom was hoping to prevent a malevolent misunderstanding.

You were not wearing a bra because you wanted to be comfortable. However, what if the workman looking at your thought you took the bra off for him because you want him to have sex with you? Although that was not your intent what if some blockhead thought you were just playing hard to get & then committed a crime by raping you?

Although I am not blaming the victim, there is something to be said for taking precautions for your own safety.
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Old 18th February 2019, 8:18 PM   #36
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If we're advocating self-protection here, a bra is not going to prevent a rape, and lack of a bra isn't going to provoke one. The best form of protection from rape isn't a bra - it is a gun, a knife, and a "don't mess with me" attitude! The few times I've had to deal with strangers working at my house when I lived on my own, I open carried a pistol on my hip. I makes the weirdos back off, but also sparked some cool conversations with like-minded people. But that's kind of beside the point for this thread.

If a mother wants her daughter protected, she shouldn't have unknown workmen coming over to the house, bra or no bra. Hire friends and neighbors only, or hire women. Of course, an interested female might check you out if you aren't wearing a bra
I think there's plenty of options to be comfortable without presenting your nipples to the whole world. Thicker fabric, darker colors, looser fit, or even some of those wireless bras that girls with smaller breasts wear. Find something that works for you, rather than what your mother demands.
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Old 18th February 2019, 8:33 PM   #37
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You know, there's a LOT of things before you get to rape. Things you don't want. Like to feel uncomfortable because some guy is salivating and staring at your chest. Things like maybe he propositions you. Things like maybe he starts driving by your house. Things like two workers talking and laughing at you behind your back.

Don't be ridiculous. Use common sense. This isn't a hill anyone should want to die on. Wear a bra, wear a vest, wear a heavy jacket. It won't kill you.
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Old 19th February 2019, 3:44 PM   #38
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Yes I still live at home but I'm 18. Not 12

But thanks for your replies. I understand a few things now that I hadn't thought of
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Old 19th February 2019, 4:06 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by losangelena View Post
More and more, I question who decided that it was “appropriate” for women to wear bras. Says who, exactly ... ?

I actually don’t mean that to be a combative question, it’s sincere. It’s kind of like high school dress codes that include shorts that come down below the fingertips and no visible bra straps. Why, so the boys can go through their days with slightly fewer erections?

Why must a woman’s choice of dress be policed? Why can’t we socialize boys and men to respect a woman’s bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear? If I go braless in my own home while a plumber is there, and he decides he wants to take advantage of me, he’s firmly in the wrong. A lack of a bra is NOT an invitation.
Wouldn't you be embarrassed to go out to a nice restaurant with, say, a middle aged woman who wasn't wearing a bra and everyone thought was tacky?

Look, I get away without a bra most of the time because I work from home, and I hate bras, but I have a sister who would go anywhere without one and her boobs showing through a thin t-shirt who's 70. It looks tacky. No one wants to see that.

I have a friend who was still wearing braless tank tops (she has a nice rack) everywhere in her 40s. It just wasn't appropriate to go out to eat at a nice restaurant like that. It's fine for the beach or river. Now she's a teacher, she's required to wear extra supportive very substantial high-dollar bras to be totally contained and nothing visible and nothing moving -- and this is elementary school because the little boys react. Older ones are even more distracted. I just don't know why anyone would want to draw attention to themselves from unknown random workmen.

I run around my backyard in my pajamas sometimes, but that's not anyone seeing me up close at least. I'm glad that when I was real young, it was braless times, but I was flat chested anyway. However, I had a friend built about like me who wore a bra and she got more male attention because the bra gave her shape and lift. I now regret I didn't at least wear one when I dressed up to go out. I wore camisoles instead. I'd have gotten more attention if I'd pushed them up there, especially since I was so flat.

Last edited by preraph; 19th February 2019 at 4:16 PM..
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Old 19th February 2019, 4:20 PM   #40
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Going to restaurant with a braless middle aged lady? Then it depends on her size, shape, colour and the fabric choice. For some, it would barely show.
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Old 19th February 2019, 4:45 PM   #41
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Well, I'm talking about if it did show. Because it usually does. Even if you wear a coat, your breast line is going to be way low. I mean, that's fine, because it's not rude looking, but everyone can tell if they are paying any attention. I mean, I went to the store this morning with a coat instead of a bra.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 5:23 PM   #42
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Thanks everyone
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