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Braless. Have I done something wrong?


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Old 17th February 2019, 6:43 PM   #16
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More and more, I question who decided that it was “appropriate” for women to wear bras. Says who, exactly ... ?

I actually don’t mean that to be a combative question, it’s sincere. It’s kind of like high school dress codes that include shorts that come down below the fingertips and no visible bra straps. Why, so the boys can go through their days with slightly fewer erections?

Why must a woman’s choice of dress be policed? Why can’t we socialize boys and men to respect a woman’s bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear? If I go braless in my own home while a plumber is there, and he decides he wants to take advantage of me, he’s firmly in the wrong. A lack of a bra is NOT an invitation.
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:32 PM   #17
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My daughter is almost 18. If she did this, I wouldn't be happy. She would never do it, though. She's too modest.
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:34 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by losangelena View Post
Why canít we socialize boys and men to respect a womanís bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear?
All the socialization in the world isn't going to make boobs less attractive to men. I think we can do our part to not shove them in their faces, especially when it comes to a teenager and adult men.....
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:36 PM   #19
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Iím sure the mom wouldnít be happy if her son was shirtless and just wearing a tight pair of shorts revealing his junk.
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:41 PM   #20
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I don't think anyone is policing anything...

Heck, I am old enough to remember(even though I was a kid) when its was pretty commonplace to see women without bras Especially in summer...Oh those "tube tops"....

Too bad then that most of the women that went braless were actually the types that wouldn't get male attention no matter what they did...Same for the nude beaches...

But a mother telling an 18 year old to wear something appropriate around men is just a motherly thing to do...As a dad to a young woman not quite 18 Id give the same advice...

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Old 17th February 2019, 10:08 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
All the socialization in the world isn't going to make boobs less attractive to men. I think we can do our part to not shove them in their faces, especially when it comes to a teenager and adult men.....
Yes, but, again ... so what? A man canít see a set of untethered breasts and expected to keep control of himself? Iím sorry, I just donít buy that.
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Old 17th February 2019, 10:21 PM   #22
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Yes, but, again ... so what? A man canít see a set of untethered breasts and expected to keep control of himself? Iím sorry, I just donít buy that.
I don't think the OP said the men in question couldn't control themselves. As a parent, I would not want those men going home and thinking about/remembering what my teenage daughter looked like with no bra on. There's no shame in just removing the temptation when you have no idea who you're dealing with.
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Old 17th February 2019, 10:38 PM   #23
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There have literally been men on here who think because they notice a woman's boobs means the woman wants them. Literally. More than one. There was a study a few years ago that showed men photos of attractive and less attractive women and asked which ones of the women would be attracted to them -- and a vast majority chose the prettiest women and believed those women would be attracted to them -- because they were attracted to them and for no other reason.

So if a woman purposefully doesn't wear a bra around some workers, at least some of them are probably thinking you're doing it to make them attracted to you.
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Old 17th February 2019, 10:39 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I don't think the OP said the men in question couldn't control themselves. As a parent, I would not want those men going home and thinking about/remembering what my teenage daughter looked like with no bra on. There's no shame in just removing the temptation when you have no idea who you're dealing with.
Right...

I mean, a fart is just a normal human bodily function, but I wouldn't think most people would find it acceptable to walk into a room full of people and let one go...

I know boundaries like to be pushed nowadays, but at the end of the day, its more to do with general decorum and class..

TFY
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Old 17th February 2019, 10:45 PM   #25
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Of course, everything is fair play if the worker is bending over showing his butt crack the whole time. But still.....you don't really want to get THAT GUY excited, right?
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Old 18th February 2019, 12:06 AM   #26
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Personally, I think your mom overreacted. But I'm not very busty and also like to go braless in the home, haha. I mean, I don't tend to wear see-through t-shirts, nor do I hang around excessively in an area when work men are over--so I think it depends a bit on the context. I do find your mom going off on you about it to be a bit harsh and tend to agree with losangelena on this one. In public, I'd always wear a bra. In the privacy of my own home with workers in an adjacent room? Maybe not.
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Old 18th February 2019, 12:29 AM   #27
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I believe it started with Christianity, probably earlier, not wearing a 'modern day bra' obviously but not exposing the breasts with some form of clothing.

There is nothing shameful for boys in school to get erections in the sight of breasts, it is a completely normal bodily function and not a matter of 'bad social skills'...

So nobody here (I think) assumed the workers were going to rape OP. But the mom was probably aware they WILL get aroused by seeing a young woman without a bra... So I don't think she did anything wrong telling OP to cover up.

Btw if OP was wearing layered dark shirts etc - the mom wouldn't even be aware she's braless... It's not about the bra itself, t is about how to dress in presence of strangers, and it's not a bad skill to learn it young.


Quote:
Originally Posted by losangelena View Post
More and more, I question who decided that it was ďappropriateĒ for women to wear bras. Says who, exactly ... ?

I actually donít mean that to be a combative question, itís sincere. Itís kind of like high school dress codes that include shorts that come down below the fingertips and no visible bra straps. Why, so the boys can go through their days with slightly fewer erections?

Why must a womanís choice of dress be policed? Why canít we socialize boys and men to respect a womanís bodily autonomy regardless of what they wear? If I go braless in my own home while a plumber is there, and he decides he wants to take advantage of me, heís firmly in the wrong. A lack of a bra is NOT an invitation.
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Old 18th February 2019, 12:34 AM   #28
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Oh god, men's clothing is FAR more uncomfortable than ours... In the summer I slip on a dress while my male coworkers wear their brains off in pants and shirts and ties... yuck.

Btw if the son of this mom showed up in his boxers in front of the female cleaner, she would have reacted too I bet lol.

I can't even imagine how nipple pasties (stuff you stick on the skin) is more comfortable then a bra... I would wear the stick on cups under backless dresses and they are itchy and non-supportive ... Unless the bra is ill fitting, it's a comfortable enough item of clothing (well, in the general case - I'm standard size, I guess these with Fs and up would have issues with straps etc).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Elswyth View Post
You shouldn't be required to wear something uncomfortable just because men are around. Frankly, I find this sort of thinking so very patriarchal - would your mum tell your brother that he needed to wear, say, a tie (honestly, I can't think of anything men EVER wear that is as uncomfortable as a bra, so this is the best I can come up with) in the house just because the female cleaner was coming? Eugh.

On the other hand... you do live under her roof, presumably rent-free, so unfortunately I think you do need to compromise somewhat. When you are able to move out, you can look forward to being bra-free whenever you want.

As an alternative compromise, maybe tell your mum that if she buys you one of those nipple pasties, you can wear it for these occasions. They tend to be more comfy, just expensive because they're limited-use.
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Old 18th February 2019, 2:03 AM   #29
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I think many are missing the point here. There are two purposes for a bra: support and concealment. I believe the OP indicated that her breasts are small, so unlike me support is not an issue. Thus, the only major issue is concealment. Unless the fabric is really thin or really light, concealment issues can be worked with. At that point, a bra isn't the issue...it is fabric choice. Wear a thicker, darker fabric and those issues are solved. No dark nipples/areolas, and minimal unsightly pokies.

Maybe I'm more of a bra-burning feminist than most? I'd get rid of mine if I could, but having D's flopping around in your shirt gets a bit uncomfortable if you want to be active.
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Old 18th February 2019, 2:11 AM   #30
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I don't like wearing bra when I am home as well (and mine are small too) but when there are guys around I wear them or at least cover them. It's not because of shaming or anything - I just don't want to give those guys some small freebie and just to be safe... you'll never know what goes on to their minds.
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