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Who else is the black sheep of the family?!


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 14th February 2019, 8:59 PM   #1
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Exclamation Who else is the black sheep of the family?!

Soooo you would think after all the things Iíve been through with my mom/family I would be used to these kind of surprises by now but nope.. it never fails my family really know how to hurt me and they donít even have to try!
So many times has my mom bad mouthed me to anyone who would listen but I feel this one is really aggravating. So Iím 23 my brother and his gf are seniors in high school around 17 years old. And trust me like I said Iím kind of used to my mom bad mouthing me to people itís wxpected but I canít stand the fact that I just found text messages in my moms old phone that my kids use to watch YouTube kids on of mundo mom talking **** about me and my husband to my little brothers gf
About how I raise my kids how I spend my money about my husband lieing to me about how much he gets paid my mom I found litterly makes fun of me and vents to her about me.. like if it was my aunt or sister or dad or her friends she was talking to I would be annoyed but again still expected but my brothers 17 year old gf? Cmon now... Iím just so tired and at this point I just want to cut ties and love her from a distance cuz itís hust ruining my sanity at this point..
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Old 14th February 2019, 11:52 PM   #2
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So move. Take your kids far away from her also because she’ll probably try to trash you to them too one day.
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Old 15th February 2019, 11:05 AM   #3
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"Who else is the black sheep of the family?!"

Me... Right here... (Waving hand in the back)

Yes, I'm the "black sheep" of my family and it has no effect on my life because I don't let it. Words can only hurt you, if you listen to them & allow them to hurt.

Personally, I've had this "nomadic" gene in my DNA, that had caused me to be on permanent "Wanderlust" throughout my youth. Needless to say, my family criticized me, put me down (called me irresponsible and unstable), but that never stopped me.

I haven't spoken to my sister in over 25 years and hadn't spoken to my mother in over 10 years. It hasn't affected my life in the negative, at all.

You have your own family now, you have your husband and your kids. Concentrate on the positive aspects of those relationships and excise the negative out. Just because she is your mother there is no reason you have to associate with her if she is going to be hurtful.
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Old 15th February 2019, 11:17 AM   #4
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I always wonder how people cope without a strong, unconditional support system that only family can offer.


Does this make you put more effort into seeking and maintaining friendships? Be more needy with other people?
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Old 15th February 2019, 11:29 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I always wonder how people cope without a strong, unconditional support system that only family can offer.


Does this make you put more effort into seeking and maintaining friendships? Be more needy with other people?
Nope, other way round. Since I didn't have unconditional (or pretty much any) support from family, I learn to succeed the hard way - relying solely on myself.

It is still that way up to date - in friendships my friends rely emotionally on me, not other way round. I really never felt the need for emotional support from anyone, maybe because I wan't conditioned to expect it

In a way I think bad parenting is a blessing in disguise- if you get through it, you can get through anything. Not encouraging it, just saying it to people that feel sorry for themselves for being the 'black sheep'
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Old 15th February 2019, 11:37 AM   #6
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was a black sheep, then left home
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Old 18th February 2019, 6:49 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by LastStraw View Post
Nope, other way round. Since I didn't have unconditional (or pretty much any) support from family, I learn to succeed the hard way - relying solely on myself.

It is still that way up to date - in friendships my friends rely emotionally on me, not other way round. I really never felt the need for emotional support from anyone, maybe because I wan't conditioned to expect it

In a way I think bad parenting is a blessing in disguise- if you get through it, you can get through anything. Not encouraging it, just saying it to people that feel sorry for themselves for being the 'black sheep'
I'm so with you. The weak support I got from my family taught me I had to rely on myself and myself alone to take care of everything. I'm one of the least needy people I know. I also am extremely turned off when anyone tries to give me a guilt trip or make me feel obligated to do anything for them out of duty. I give the moon and stars to people I love, but I cannot tolerate guilt trips for a second.

I've also come to see that the silver lining of growing up with poor guidance is that you're forced to become exceptionally strong and independent. I also feel it gives you a deeper sense of compassion for the misfortunes of others.
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Old 24th February 2019, 9:36 PM   #8
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Haven't spoken to my mother in years, so I guess I'm still the black sheep? Maybe someone else has taken the title since then, who knows.

I recently got a new job with a 25% raise over what I was making before just starting out and one of the guys I'm doing orientation with was having a long exchange with his mother on his phone, she was telling him how proud of him she was, what a great man he's become, the whole thing was just so bizarre and foreign to me. Made my heart melt though.
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Old 26th February 2019, 4:31 AM   #9
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Can anyone elaborate - why is there a need for that "black sheep" in families? What's the reason for splitting up a family and hurting each other?

I am sorry for anyone who has experienced that type of humiliation.
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Old 26th February 2019, 4:43 AM   #10
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Some families are just messed up. They try to keep up appearances and rather than look bad themselves they choose another person to focus on.
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