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Members who were NOT the favorite child ??


Suckstobeme93

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GorillaTheater

My sister was the favorite, but considering that I drove my parents bat**** crazy with all the stuff I pulled as a kid, that's probably fair.

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I believe favoritism ruins family relationships. My mother outright told me my older brother was her favorite. She said she favored him by default because he was (wrongfully) diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when he was a child (he's a healthy 60+ year old, so....) I understood that at the time. My brother was that kid who would yes you to death and promise to do his chores, and never finish anything. He could do no wrong in her eyes, though. I was the one who rebelled at every turn, complained about doing chores, but I did them. He joined the Navy when he was 19 years old and got kicked out because of his poor behavior. My sole purpose for going into the Navy was to show my mother I could be successful where he failed. I lost my mom in 1992. Not long before then, she did "confess" to me that I had become her favorite.

 

I make sure my daughters know I do NOT favor one of them over the other. There are special things about each of them that I love that makes them unique, but I love them all equally and make sure they know that.

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Both my son's claim the other is the favourite, they are both my favourites!!

The older son was "easier" (well behaved, never caused any trouble) but the younger son is more thoughtful and selfless...so I have favourite parts of each of their personalities.

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Suckstobeme93
Both my son's claim the other is the favourite, they are both my favourites!!

The older son was "easier" (well behaved, never caused any trouble) but the younger son is more thoughtful and selfless...so I have favourite parts of each of their personalities.

 

 

You sound like the perfect Mother when it comes to this subject

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Whoever on here that knew that they were NOT the favorite child name a situation or two that you remember from childhood and up to now. ???

 

If this topic weighs on your mind in your 20's, is it something you've ever spoken to a counselor or therapist about? At some point, have to let it go...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I was the least favorite, but there were no favorites. All three of us were treated without much respect, to say the least. Name calling and disdain. I forced myself to live with it, and it is something children always remember like a bad scar.

 

Examples: my entire childhood, every week. Then my 20's also.

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littleblackheart

No favourites when my 2 sisters and I were growing up. We are now all close to our parents and very close to each other as adults.

 

I have a son - he's my favourite boy - and a daughter - she is my favourite daughter.

 

Parents declaring they have a 'favourite' or a 'least favourite' among their kids is outright emotional abuse, to me.

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My mom enabled my sister because she was a premie with colic, a real challenge, and then she was used to being an only child. I came 7 years later. She didn't like it.

 

Mom always sided with her on everything, even as an adult, and yet she mostly didn't give our mom the time of day and did some nasty things. She spent her whole life sucking up to her trying to win her approval. My sister is a narcissist. She went so far when we were both adults to "remembering" bad things that happened that were my sister's doing and switching the story to blame me for it. I called her out on it at one TG dinner. Man, that made me mad.

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I have two siblings and all three of us felt we were the least favorite, likely means we were treated the same, and only saw our childhood thru our own perspective.

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, likely means we were treated the same, and only saw our childhood thru our own perspective.

Naturally...because none of us, in childhood or adulthood, has any other perspective/filter through which to see. Still, though, it is on each parent to help their child(ren) feel special and unique,

so this 'sense of self' that each of the three siblings developed, of being 'least favourite' is still on each parent, individually.

 

However, in adulthood (+18 or 21 years of age), as Mr. Lucky said, our own beliefs and thoughts, and sense and feelings, are on us, and on us alone.

We can't blame parents and/or siblings; we need to fix it, or to get professional help to help us fix it.

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By no means am I saying my childhood was difficult, it was an amazing experience with wonderful but flawed parents. My point is from each of our own perspective we all felt we were the least favorite. I imagine this would be the same for most, meaning that those parents actually had no favoritism. Its human nature to blame any and every one or thing for difficulties in life, most often its inaccurate. Even in childhood. Action create consequences. Awful children will most often have to be treated differently than those who aren't. I would call a parent that treats the differences the same incompetent as parents.

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Its human nature to blame any and every one or thing for difficulties in life,

No, it's not. There is an equal chance that people (child or adult) will take responsibility that does not actually belong to them, for whatever is the problem, and trend towards guilt instead of blame.

 

Sure, of course...two sides of the same coin, one might reasonably argue, but not all people fit the 'one-size-fits-all' mold, and, thus, one must also be careful of what one assigns as "human nature",

because such generalizations and stereotypes are sure to come back and bite one right in the arse...sometimes especially when we are least expecting, and when the bite is going to hurt the hardest.

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I'd say getting shipped off to boarding school so my mother could raise her new family kids with no distractions was a bit of a hint. :cool:

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I have one sister and she seems to just get whatever she wants but I never did

 

But I've just grown to accept it. I have no idea why its like this but it is

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I have so many bad memories of childhood that I wouldn't know where to begin. Both my parents were the kind who favoured one kid and the others were made to feel blatantly unwanted. The favoured kid grew up to be criminally inclined while the other three of us are honest and honourable people. Even when Miss Favourite committed serious crimes, (arson, insurance fraud, etc), the sun still shone from her rear as far as our imbecilic parents were concerned. This dynamic fosters an unhealthy and miserable family life and can cause lasting damage to the children who have their needs ignored and their achievements downplayed or over-loooked. Parents who do this are child abusers, and are often narcissistic.

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