I can't believe I'm asking this, but was anyone else here super spoiled growing up?

[ZayKayWill]

I find it very hard to connect with like minded people in this regard, so I figured I would give it a try here.....I guess.

 

 

Gotta be honest with you guys. I have lived such a great life and childhood....but now that I'm older and more or less independent, I find that coming from such a prestigious and high class family has been....a lot harder than most people could probably imagine.

 

 

I am the youngest of three siblings....and both of my parents are surgeons. And let me tell you. Even though I am super blessed to have them as parents and wouldn't ask for any other parents, growing up with them as my dictators in life has been ANYTHING but easy.

 

 

 

I work for my dad in his office and he is anything but easy on me. If anything he's harder on me since I'm his son, yet alone his youngest son...

 

 

Meh idk why I even made this thread to be honest. I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there who could relate to me. Every time I mention what both my parents do, everyone's eyes just glow with sheer amazement. As I was younger, I didn't really see why it mattered much, but now that I'm out of college and more or less doing my own thing without their support, I guess it makes sense why people get so amazed that I have two surgeons in the house....my dad is literally the scariest man alive. I just moved out of my house maybe 2 months ago? I still work with him, though. Hands down one of the smartest people alive that I know of, but maaaaaan........idk. You would think that someone's career/success in the financial/business life would make them a more 'normal' person, but I can more or less tell you that that is FAR from the truth. Not that it's a bad thing....I don't necessarily think that crazy is bad, but just man....lol.

 

 

 

Again I have no idea why I made this thread, I guess was just looking for anyone else who could relate or just had some parents that were incredibly well off but still felt that their success in life kind of sorta made a difference in how they grew up or just their overall life perspective...? I hate to say it, but it was pretty easy to tell that a lot of the people that I surrounded myself with while growing up would be somewhat jealous of the background I came from. They never would outwardly say it of course, but it was just pretty obvious from their actions...sometimes I wish that I never was spoiled as much as I was so I wouldn't have everybody looking at me as a 'challenge' or a 'threat'. I hope I'm not coming off as cocky or pretentious when I make this, by the way. This is 100% my true feelings.

[paisleypanther]

I know exactly what this is like.



 

Both my parents are smart people and I grew up in a middle-class area. However, my parents were ridiculously hard on me. They assumed that because I had everything going for me I would just automatically excel at anything I did. They didn’t just want me to do everything. They wanted me to be THE BEST at everything. Ice skating, martial arts, painting, singing, dancing, piano, you name it. It was a lot of pressure for a little kid to have. That obviously evolved into them wanting me to go to a good university. So I worked my butt off to get into a prestigious school. I don’t wanna give names but it’s definitely in the top 5.

 

Honestly, to a lot of my friends, my life probably sounds like a dream. I got to pick up any hobby I wanted, I always got awesome grades, and now I’m at a really competitive school. However, I feel myself crumbling under the pressure a lot of the time. My parents constantly demand more of me. They know I never had to struggle with having a stable living environment so all of this has just been expected. Whenever I voice concerns about their overbearing behavior they just go on a rant about how hard they had it when they were younger and how I should be happy school is all I have to worry about.

 


So yeah, I definitely understand how having well-off parents can be a pain in the butt. I feel like I’ve been coddled and pressured to succeed my whole life and I hate it. But I honestly think a lot of it is just because our parents want us to be successful like them. Whenever I hear one of my mom’s speeches about how oh so hard it was back in her day, I realize she really does just want me to do well. And I think successful parents genuinely believe success is what’s best for their kids.

[d0nnivain]

I was pretty spoiled. My parents weren't wealthy but we were comfortable. I didn't want for anything; they paid my tuition through grad school so I graduated with no student loans & they gifted me most of the down payment for my house. Their parents had given them the downpayment for their 1st house.

 

They were strict & had high expectations. Sometimes that was hard to live up to.

 

When I opened my own business 15 years ago & wasn't making good money for the 1st time in my life I had to learn to budget. It was eye opening. I have gotten better at a lot of domestic things & weaned myself off "shopping therapy" or at least learned to downsize it.

 

Maybe it's time you go look for another job. Making yourself truly independent from your parents -- no longer living with them & no longer working for them -- may help you create a more adult relationship with them & may help you develop other life skills that before now you didn't need.

[MetallicHue]

I had more than I needed. But financial status doesn’t necessarily translate into anything you’d expect. Parents were full of themselves and split as I was a teen. Had tremendously unfair/unrealistic expectations from my father. My mother was very much and still partially self absorbed. Having a little extra dough didn’t translate into extra happiness.

[stillafool]

Yes I was the youngest child, the only daughter and was spoiled rotten when I was a child. It had nothing to do with my parents money or prestige; just a ****load of love.

[whichwayisup]

Sounds like you need to branch off on your own and find a new job and not work for either of your parents. They aren't being professional with you, treating you differently (and harder) than they would any other employee.

 

You were blessed to have wealth growing up, two parents who raised you, a happy and healthy childhood!

 

 

Always be humble and kind to others.

[basil67]

ZayKayWill, all you've written here is that your family was wealthy but were really hard on you. I'm wondering how you were spoiled. Was it that they paved the way for you to do and have things without you working for it?

[ZayKayWill]

ZayKayWill, all you've written here is that your family was wealthy but were really hard on you. I'm wondering how you were spoiled. Was it that they paved the way for you to do and have things without you working for it?

 

 

Not necessarily. They just literally would give me whatever I wanted when I was a kid, and they still go out of their way to do all these kind things for me. Honestly I feel that it's because I'm the baby of the family. My mom literally did my laundry for me when I was living there. If that's not spoiled, I have no ****ing idea what is. Lmfao.

[Wallysbears]

Not monetarily. My parents were pay check to pay check folks.

 

But I never wanted for anything and had 100% unconditional love and support and encouragement.

 

And they raised me well.

 

I’m very lucky in that regard and hope to be the same or better with my son.

[major_merrick]

My dad was a drunk and my mother took her clothes off at time for a living. So, I can't really relate to a privileged childhood. But....I can understand how it could stress you out. Inherited money isn't free - there's expectations that go with it. You have to behave a certain way, and your parents have a lot of power in your life. I'm sure that working for your father is not easy. Me...I left at 17 and was able to live my life by my rules. There's a kind of power in that. My husband's parents had some money, and so it was harder for him to become his own person and live his own life. Drawbacks to everything, I think.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I had a wonderful childhood, it was hands down the best part of my life. My parents weren't rich but I was showered with love. They continue to do so. This unconditional support is something I am so grateful for. Now that I live close to them again, when I work long hours, mum will come over, clean my house and leave me home cooked meals. They also run errands for me while I am at work

[Woggle]

Can't say I relate on any level. I ran away from home as a teenager because living on the street was better than living it home. I am glad as an adult to have married into a great family that genuinely loves each other but my childhood was pretty much hell.

[preraph]

It sets you up to feel entitled in other areas, that's for sure. No one else is going to give you anything like your parents and especially mother. You'll have to earn it elsewhere, whether in work or in love.

[ZayKayWill]

Can't say I relate on any level. I ran away from home as a teenager because living on the street was better than living it home. I am glad as an adult to have married into a great family that genuinely loves each other but my childhood was pretty much hell.

 

 

Did a lot of that have to do with your mom? I remember you posting in one of my topics a while ago regarding the "Me Too" movement, and well you mentioned that your mom....well....you know.

[Osho]

I tried to explain this perspective to someone complaining about having so little and horrible parents growing up. Nothing in this world is free. Everything has a price and to go into detail of the level of expectation and lack of freedom in that regard to me is worse than having to grow up as your parents did and work for everything. Because of having nothing they worked their butts off to get what they wanted. And now they want you to set yourself up so you have everything just as they do. But you grew up with everything so your drive and that part of you that craves is bigger but in a different way. The way you described your friends growing up. How many times did you wonder if your friends hung out with you because of your cool toys or because of your environment? I could list things for days.

 

I grew up in a low income neighborhood but I never wanted for anything.

I don’t urge my kids to do anything but what they love. As I currently do what I love not what will pay. No one and I mean no one wants to work away 60 yrs of their life away to afford the house they’re barely at that holds the clothes they wear to work and the car they use to drive to work. So they can retire at 60 To me that’s not living. If you truly Love what you do then you’ll never work a day in your life.

 

Focus on what you truly want to do and be thankful you’re in a situation where you can pursue YOUR true desires now that you have the tools to build the life you truly want. In the end you will be successful. What is most important is what you have now where you are and where you plan to go.

Edited January 19, 2019 by Osho

[Woggle]

Did a lot of that have to do with your mom? I remember you posting in one of my topics a while ago regarding the "Me Too" movement, and well you mentioned that your mom....well....you know.

 

Pretty much. I would rather face the streets than tolerate one more minute of her abuse. That is the past though because my in laws treat me like I am blood to them. As far as they are concerned I am family. As corny as it sounds Christmas, Thanksgiving and family functions mean a lot to me because I never had that growing up.

[basil67]

Not necessarily. They just literally would give me whatever I wanted when I was a kid, and they still go out of their way to do all these kind things for me. Honestly I feel that it's because I'm the baby of the family. My mom literally did my laundry for me when I was living there. If that's not spoiled, I have no ****ing idea what is. Lmfao.

 

The word 'spoiled' is synonymous with 'ruined'. A spoiled child is one which grows up thinking the world revolves around them. A child who makes demands and receives those things regardless of what kind of behaviour they exhibit. A child who grows into an adult who shuns hard work. Does this describe you?

 

The fact that you describe your parents actions as being kind makes me think that you weren't spoiled or ruined by your parents. Did the fact that your mum was kind enough to do your washing make you expect that others would always do it for you? Did they teach you the value of hard work?

[ZayKayWill]

The word 'spoiled' is synonymous with 'ruined'. A spoiled child is one which grows up thinking the world revolves around them. A child who makes demands and receives those things regardless of what kind of behaviour they exhibit. A child who grows into an adult who shuns hard work. Does this describe you?

 

The fact that you describe your parents actions as being kind makes me think that you weren't spoiled or ruined by your parents. Did the fact that your mum was kind enough to do your washing make you expect that others would always do it for you? Did they teach you the value of hard work?

 

 

 

 

Interesting. I guess when you put it that way, then I guess I'm not 'spoiled'. They supported me through college, as in they payed my tuition and pretty much payed all my living expenses and other things as well. I didn't have to work, basically. But now that I'm out of college I have a job and pretty much am on my own, plus I'm doing graduate school. If that answers your question.

[basil67]

Rather than 'spoiled', perhaps a more accurate word is 'privileged'?

[ZayKayWill]

Another upside to having two doctors in the house: My mommy lets me come home and feeds me delicious hot chicken soup while I'm sick! :D

[amaysngrace]

Yea I was. Two big houses, one at the beach, got everything I ever asked for and didn’t know the meaning of the word “no”

 

They weren’t strict, I think they were pretty burnt by the time it was my turn to be raised, but a little discipline probably would’ve served me well.

 

I’m the youngest of six. My parents really loved me, my Dad cried when I got married (I still don’t know what that’s about because he didn’t when either of my sisters did) and I was very close to the both of them. The relationship we had is worth more than all the money in this world.

 

I wouldn’t call it privileged as much as I’d call it blessed. But yea, I was definitely spoiled.

[beatcuff]

Rather than 'spoiled', perhaps a more accurate word is 'privileged'?

i agree, spoiled is seen as negative whereas privileged is seen more as an potential advantage. we recently purchased a second/vacation home that offers many activities.

my daughter this fall entered a high end US university (not ivy, next step down) from a typical middle class high school. when she was telling her HS friends we had a second home 'up north' they were confused: why do you need another home? are you moving? are your parents divorcing?... she mentioned it at the university and the comments were: just one (vacation home)? or don't you hate when you forget which house has those shoes you are looking for.

 

as for my childhood --- not even close. while not poor we had limited extras. my wife was similar. and while we have given our children 'everything' it was never top of the line --- shoes were functional but they have many: sneakers, dress, winter, hiking... they had two hockey sticks but last years model at half off, we shop at 'target' not 'macys', birthday's are their favorite meal --- that's it. christmas was downplayed: they never had to wait, if it was needed they got it then. i really try to talk up 'opportunity cost': if i spend x on y then could i later not be able to get z.

[Mx12345]

After reading your post, I do not believe you were spoiled, but you were privileged. I always think of this guy I dated 10 years ago who came from a very wealthy family whereas I grew up poorer than poor.

 

He was given everything he had, and then had to maintain his life, where as I had to work really hard, just to get what he already was given and was maintaining. Some people will tell you its harder to maintain something, than it is to initially get it. (I always think of that movie Dangerous Minds "Its harder to maintain an A than it is to earn an A" or something.)

But I completely disagree.

 

We met in college, I worked full time, and went to school full time and paid for everything myself including my car and my apartment. We had a major disagreement when he totaled his car. His car had been bought and paid for by his parents when he was in high school. When it was totaled his parents said they wouldn't buy him another one, so he used the money from the insurance and put it towards a down payment on a new car, then made payments. A few months later he said him and I were the same in that aspect. I told him we were not the same. He was maintaining a car (making payments) that was originally paid for by his parents. When I had bought my first car two years prior, I had to save for six months to put a down payment down. He by passed that entire part. He also was working part time to afford the car payments, all of his money went to that car because everything else was paid for by his parents: cell phone, apartment, tuition, spending money, everything that I had to pay for myself. And when my car had a mechanical issue, I had to put the repair on a credit card and then slowly pay it off over the course of the next six months.

 

You work in your fathers office, I'm assuming it was a job that was just given to you. You didn't have to apply, you did go to school, but had you not, your dad would have probably given you the job anyway. Having wealthy parents, youll always have that one leg up. Even if your parents are hard on you emotionally, do you pay student loans? (I'm 32 and I STILL have $9000 left, slowly chunking away at it.) You JUST moved out (I was forced out of the house at 18.) And I don't know your car situation, but maybe they bought that too?

 

My point is, yes, please feel free to vent. You do have a right to feel like you have certain things hard. But please remember, you were able to live with your parents rent free up until two months ago. you don't have student loans, you don't have a car payment (probably), you didn't have to go to yet another job interview and have them tell you, you don't have enough experience. After months of interviews after I graduated I finally took a shi**y sales job because no one would hire me because all I did in college was bartend and I had no office experience.

 

You STARTED way above what most people strive to end up at. There are people (like myself) that have to work really hard to get to the point that you started at. Remember that.

[Hopeful30]

You are not alone.

 

I grew up with an AMAZING father. Not only did he set the bar REALLY high, he made a lot of money and we were very wealthy at one point. I try to hide our wealth wherever I go and noticed that people treat me better when they think i'm from a similar or worse financial background. Just shows how much people tie money to their identity.

 

My father spoils me with love and respect. He's my protector, my angel. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing father, especially seeing as how there are so few good parents in this world. Literally not ONE man I have ever met has been as incredible as my dad, and I blame him for me having so much difficulties finding a man. I'm genuinely starting to believe he's the last of his kind.

 

Let me tell you this:

 

Anyone who judges you for the way you grew up or your circumstances is sadly too primitive to understand what holds true value. Spoiled or not spoiled, you are equal to every other human being on this planet. Allow this kind of judgement to work in your favour and point out to you who needs to be filtered from your life.

Edited February 14, 2019 by Hopeful30