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Should my autistic brother date women who are also autistic or no?


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Old 17th February 2019, 4:11 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Okay thanks, I will check it out. What show was that?

And yeah I see what you mean about high intelligence, it's just most people I think, think he has low intelligence, and I think a lot of the women would too unfortunately.
next time a woman thinks your brother is of low intelligence throw these names at her.....

Dan Aykroyd – Comedic Actor
Hans Christian Andersen – Children’s Author
Benjamin Banneker – African American almanac author, surveyor, naturalist, and farmer
Susan Boyle – Singer
Tim Burton – Movie Director
Lewis Carroll – Author of “Alice in Wonderland”
Henry Cavendish – Scientist
Charles Darwin – Naturalist, Geologist, and Biologist
Emily Dickinson – Poet
Paul Dirac – Physicist
Albert Einstein – Scientist & Mathematician
Bobby Fischer – Chess Grandmaster
Bill Gates – Co-founder of the Microsoft Corporation
Temple Grandin – Animal Scientist
Daryl Hannah – Actress & Environmental Activist
Thomas Jefferson – Early American Politician
Steve Jobs – Former CEO of Apple
James Joyce – Author of “Ulysses”
Alfred Kinsey – Sexologist & Biologist
Stanley Kubrick – Film Director
Barbara McClintock – Scientist and Cytogeneticist
Michelangelo – Sculptor, Painter, Architect, Poet
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Classical Composer
Sir Isaac Newton – Mathematician, Astronomer, & Physicist
Jerry Seinfeld – Comedian
Satoshi Tajiri – Creator of Nintendo’s Pokémon
Nikola Tesla – Inventor
Andy Warhol – Artist
Ludwig Wittgenstein – Philosopher
William Butler Yeats – Poet


all autistic peeps...there has been studies about the correlation between autism and artistic genius.........seems that list sort of proves the theory......


the show was called
Quote:
The Undateables
was running on the abc i believe...quite watchable and inspiring tv.....the name might belie the shows' good intentions ....but its good tv i feel....

any woman who feels your brother is of low intelligence and she is of higher intelligence...is not right for your brother anyway.....he needs a woman to see his wonderful qualities and look a bit deeper than his social awkwardness.....a young woman who notices what is in him not what he "supposedly"lacks....i wish you luck check out groups you might be surprised what is around for your brother....does he collect anything....??
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Old 17th February 2019, 4:32 AM   #17
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He collects video games. That is another thing though, is that he spent perhaps too much money on the collection and I think he needs to find a woman who doesn't think he is foolish with money probably.

A lot of the celebrities you mention have high functioning autism though, and I think maybe why my brother is not perceived that way, is that he has low functioning autism I think.

As for these groups, I couldn't find much where I live. There is an autistic dating site, but it only had two members in our area, so I am having trouble finding resources like this.
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Old 17th February 2019, 6:10 AM   #18
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"There are a number of stereotypes about autism, including the widespread belief that autistic people are endowed with extraordinary intellectual capabilities. There may be some highly intelligent individuals who display some characteristics that casual observers deem as autistic, but studies have not pointed to a structural or functional link in the brain between exceptional intellect and autism. In fact, recent studies that measure intelligence in autism point to a tendency toward lower than average objective measures of cognitive aptitude among those with autism. "
Neurology Times
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Old 17th February 2019, 6:37 AM   #19
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From the study

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A recent Chinese study examined 27 autistic children for intelligence evaluation with the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children Fourth Edition and also for facial recognition.1 When compared with age-matched controls, the ASD group had significantly lower scores on full intelligence quotient, on verbal comprehension, perceptual reasoning, processing speed, and working memory.
1. 27 kids is a ridiculously small sample data size
2. These kids are being tested on things they are already bad at because of their diagnosis (facial recognition, perceptual reasoning, processing speed, executive functioning).

It's almost like the outcome of the study was already decided... You'd get to the same conclusion if you put a bunch of people who don't speak English and ask them to sit an English test, then evaluate their intelligence based on the results.

These kinds of studies help reinforce a stigma (I'm not saying that's your intention, elaine), not understand autism better.

OP, I have high functioning ASD, which means I've been able to learn social skills cognitively on my own by observing and mimicking.

There is no way around this - this is what your brother needs to do.

What you can do is take him out with you and your friends, and let him watch how it's done (assuming you / your friends have good social skills too). He may not pick up the social skills he needs to find himself a partner despite all best efforts; just bear that in mind. At your level, other than be supportive and give him some concrete social skills tips, there's not a lot else you can do.

Last edited by littleblackheart; 17th February 2019 at 6:51 AM..
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:03 AM   #20
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But is does make sense if there has been no functional/structural link found between exceptional intelligence and autism.
Some people with autism will be highly intelligent but others will be of average or poor intelligence, just like every one else.
We can point out exceptional members in just about any group, but a few exceptional individuals do not make it "the norm".

Autistic individuals, high functioning or not usually suffer from deficiencies in social skills and communication, have difficulty concentrating due to stress or becoming overwhelmed, and are often devoted to order and routine and may have habits that are seen as odd to others.

Yes, we can all say these things should not matter, but dating is a competitive game and those things tend to matter a lot in reality.
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:18 AM   #21
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dating is a competitive game and those things tend to matter a lot in reality.
Except the link you gave talks of autistic people being less intelligent, based on a skewed assessment. That's not the same thing as breaking down the myth of autism and high intelligence at all.

The fact is, that plenty of non autistic people struggle a lot with dating too. This is not an autism-exclusive issue; poor social skills is not the domain of autistic people, and some autists can learn better than non-autists.

Besides that, intelligence isn't really that much of a determining factor universally, in terms of finding a partner.
What would help is better understanding of what autism actually means, not sticking people into boxes.

Last edited by littleblackheart; 17th February 2019 at 7:20 AM..
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Old 17th February 2019, 7:36 AM   #22
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We don't know how intelligent the OP's brother is but as he functions like a 8-9 year old according to his brother, then that is not really conducive to dating "normal" women in their late twenties.
He needs professional help here IMO.
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Old 17th February 2019, 1:56 PM   #23
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Just keep him motivated and keep looking I'm autistic and dating a pro sportsman some find it cute but those who don't probably aren't worth his time anyway I'd say wait keep him motivated however "bad" he is someone will like him
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Old 17th February 2019, 2:15 PM   #24
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Yes, I think he should be part of a support group for autism and meet a woman there because depending how extreme he is (it's a low-to-high scale) most women can't relate.
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Old 17th February 2019, 5:00 PM   #25
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Littleblackheart is right I also have high functioning autism and I learned my social skills my mimicking my sister you just need to be a good role model for him and also do you have a partner if so is that why he wants one?
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Old 18th February 2019, 4:23 AM   #26
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Yeah I have a gf now, which probably makes him yearn for one more because of that.
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Old 18th February 2019, 12:43 PM   #27
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Just try to help him develop some social skills I don't think it would be a good idea to set him up with someone because if it didn't work out the situation would get even worse can I ask are you an attractive person if you get a lot of attention and he gets none that would make it worse
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Old 9th March 2019, 5:37 PM   #28
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Oh sorry, are you asking if I am an attractive person?
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Old 9th March 2019, 6:31 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
But after years of trying, he hasn't been able to find one woman of a normal IQ that is interested in him. What do you think?
no "normal" (whatever that is) woman is going to be able to care for him for decades. would you want to take care of someone with schizophrenia for the rest of their life?

his only hope is to date someone like him. birds of a feather flock together for a reason. have him join support groups and meet other people his own age and abilities
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Old 9th March 2019, 8:47 PM   #30
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no "normal" (whatever that is) woman is going to be able to care for him for decades. would you want to take care of someone with schizophrenia for the rest of their life?

his only hope is to date someone like him. birds of a feather flock together for a reason. have him join support groups and meet other people his own age and abilities
I don't agree and autism is nothing like schizophrenia. It's not a mental health condition. These fall into completely different categories.
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