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My mom befriended my old H.S bully ?


Doseofreality

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Doseofreality

She knows how he picked on me for 3 years in High School. But today while on facebook I was scrolling through my feed and I saw a post of her and him. ( Unknowing to me ) he was going to the Community College that my mom teaches at and he is a student in one of her classes.

 

I guess he won an award for Science Olimpiad or sone ****. Anyways it bugged ne how she had her arms aroynd him in the picture as if she was hugging me or something. And he was just all proud of his plaque.

 

Its been 5 years since high school but Im still uoset that she had to put it on her wall. In the comments feed she joked about making it her profile picture for the rest of the semester.

 

I dont go to college myself though.

 

My mom thinks im overracting because its been 5 years and we are adults now.

 

Is she wrong or right ??

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I also think it’s relevant how you were bullied — just a few details, how severe, was it physical. But the fact that you’re bothered by it is telling.

 

I will say that any kid who’s been mean to one of my kids is probably permanently on my **** list (and really, like there’s almost nothing worse you could do than be mean to my kid) unless there’s been some intervening factor, like I’ve had some conversation with the kid that makes me understand something about why he was being an ******* to my kid. But it’s hard to imagine that I wouldn’t hold a pretty serious grudge unless he’d been extremely repentant.

 

I’m sorry you’re feeling betrayed by your mom. I hope she’s at least willing to talk it through with you and not just blowing off your feelings about it.

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Doseofreality
I also think it’s relevant how you were bullied — just a few details, how severe, was it physical. But the fact that you’re bothered by it is telling.<snip>

 

Thanks.

 

Is this the best forum or General Relations ??

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As someone who was bullied I’d say even 15 years later it probably would still bother me. I don’t think you’re reaction is unjust. Kids who bullied my son wouldnt be off my list unless they actually tried to make amends. Still putting a picture up is quite a bit much.

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Happy Lemming

I'm 35 years removed from my high school years and the bully that ruined them. He was a neighbor down the street. In the last 10 years or so, my parents became friends with his parents. This action upset me and I asked my father, how can you be friends with any of those people after the hell their son put me through. I received a similar answer that you received, "Doseofreality", which infuriated me even more.

 

I told my Dad, please refrain from telling me anything about that family or their son, that I didn't want to hear it. Furthermore, I told him not to discuss the details of my life with that family.

 

Personally, I would be insane with anger if my parents took a picture of any kind with my childhood bully.

 

In my opinion, you are NOT overreacting at all!!

 

To this day, I still HATE him!!!

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Doseofreality
I'm 35 years removed from my high school years and the bully that ruined them. He was a neighbor down the street. In the last 10 years or so, my parents became friends with his parents. This action upset me and I asked my father, how can you be friends with any of those people after the hell their son put me through. I received a similar answer that you received, "Doseofreality", which infuriated me even more.<snip>

 

Has he ever apologized for bullying you ??

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As someone who was bullied I’d say even 15 years later it probably would still bother me. I don’t think you’re reaction is unjust. Kids who bullied my son wouldnt be off my list unless they actually tried to make amends. Still putting a picture up is quite a bit much.

 

I agree. But should I say something to her ??

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Happy Lemming
Has he ever apologized for bullying you ??

 

Of course not... and I wouldn't accept his apology, anyway. He can rot in hell for all I care.

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Doseofreality
Of course not... and I wouldn't accept his apology, anyway. He can rot in hell for all I care.

 

And they continue to hang. Im surprised you still speak to em

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Doseofreality
Of course not... and I wouldn't accept his apology, anyway. He can rot in hell for all I care.

 

At least your gf didnt cheat with him though

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Happy Lemming
And they continue to hang. Im surprised you still speak to em

 

My parents continue to be friends with the couple (father & mother of the bully), but I live cross-country from my parents. I still call my father weekly, I just tell him not to bring up those neighbors. Plenty of other things to talk about.

 

If my parents want to be friends with that couple, that is there business.

 

In my opinion, your mother should take down the pic and delete it. You are not going to get an apology from your mother (as she doesn't understand the depth of the bullying and how it affected you [day to day, back then]), but she should take it down at the very least.

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Happy Lemming
At least your gf didnt cheat with him though

 

No, my girlfriend (at that time) thought he was a jerk, as well. We both kept our distance from him (as best we could).

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Doseofreality
<snip>In my opinion, your mother should take down the pic and delete it. You are not going to get an apology from your mother (as she doesn't understand the depth of the bullying and how it affected you [day to day, back then]), but she should take it down at the very least.

 

 

Yes I agree as well thank u

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My daughter's only in 1st grade. This little kid was being mean to her at recess. She saw him out recently at this store and told me what was happening, and I was so mad, not so much at the kid, but more at the parents who is letting their son be mean to other kids. No one will be mean to my kid!

 

In other words, no, you are not overreacting. Tell your mom again how wrong it was and how it makes you feel.

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It’s very unprofessional of her to be Facebook friends with her students.

 

She should know that and if she doesn’t it explains so much.

 

You aren’t wrong for how you feel at all.

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I'd feel the same way. Also, where I live, you don't go putting your arm around students, no matter what, as it can be misconstrued. I just think you should stay outspoken about what a jerk he was and how he bullied you verbally and physically and has had no consequences for his actions.

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Doseofreality
I'd feel the same way. Also, where I live, you don't go putting your arm around students, no matter what, as it can be misconstrued. I just think you should stay outspoken about what a jerk he was and how he bullied you verbally and physically and has had no consequences for his actions.

 

Thank you I will

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Doseofreality
It’s very unprofessional of her to be Facebook friends with her students.

 

She should know that and if she doesn’t it explains so much.

 

You aren’t wrong for how you feel at all.

 

II just wonder how shell react ??

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II just wonder how shell react ??

 

Honestly if she doesn’t understand professional boundaries I wouldn’t expect too much when it comes to respecting your personal ones.

 

But I guess it’s worth a shot to mention it to her.

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Doseofreality
Honestly if she doesn’t understand professional boundaries I wouldn’t expect too much when it comes to respecting your personal ones.

 

But I guess it’s worth a shot to mention it to her.

 

It was on Campus for that award crap but ok

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So it was the school FB account? I misunderstood.

 

Regardless I’d mention how much it bothers you to her again and if she doesn’t take it down then stop going on that account since you said you aren’t even a student there.

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Doseofreality
So it was the school FB account? I misunderstood.

 

Regardless I’d mention how much it bothers you to her again and if she doesn’t take it down then stop going on that account since you said you aren’t even a student there.

 

FB Acct. The pic was taken at the School

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