I am afraid for my niece.

[Vesna]

My brother and I were raised in a highly sexualised environment. Our mother used me as a sex object/slave from when I was about 4 yo. I didn't know of maternal sexual abuse until I was 40 and on finding out, I ran a screaming mile. DB has been in regular contact with the Birthing Unit since then as he has 'her' grandchildren. He hates going there but the kids love the beaches, etc.

 

DB is now aware of her childish tantrums and manipulation when she knows she is about to be 'deserted' and he is also aware of her obsession with female genitals. I was scared to have children, lest they be girls which would have had her cumming in her pants in anticipation. She is a sick person.

 

Here's the dilemma. She wants my brother's daughter (12) to stay with her for a week at a time without my brother being there. And I feel nauseous. This Monster will extract all the family intel that she wants from this innocent little girl, who is on the verge of being a young woman.

 

To give an example of how obsessed my mother was with my sexual organs, I didn't tell her of my first period for months. I did tell my now deceased father and we kept it a secret by burning the evidence every month. Both of us copped crap when she found out. I won't detail all the things she did to me before then.

 

Opinions, please?

[grays]

So he knows what she did to you? Is he actually considering sending his daughter?

[BaileyB]

My brother and I were raised in a highly sexualised environment. Our mother used me as a sex object/slave from when I was about 4 yo. I didn't know of maternal sexual abuse until I was 40 and on finding out, I ran a screaming mile. DB has been in regular contact with the Birthing Unit since then as he has 'her' grandchildren. He hates going there but the kids love the beaches, etc.

 

DB is now aware of her childish tantrums and manipulation when she knows she is about to be 'deserted' and he is also aware of her obsession with female genitals. I was scared to have children, lest they be girls which would have had her cumming in her pants in anticipation. She is a sick person.

 

Here's the dilemma. She wants my brother's daughter (12) to stay with her for a week at a time without my brother being there. And I feel nauseous. This Monster will extract all the family intel that she wants from this innocent little girl, who is on the verge of being a young woman.

 

To give an example of how obsessed my mother was with my sexual organs, I didn't tell her of my first period for months. I did tell my now deceased father and we kept it a secret by burning the evidence every month. Both of us copped crap when she found out. I won't detail all the things she did to me before then.

 

Opinions, please?

 

Yes, is your brother aware of the past history of sexual abuse?

 

I'm sure you are well past the statute of limitations, but could you contact CFS or the police to have the child removed from her custody. If you did that, your brother would have some explaining to do as to why he knowingly allows his daughter to stay with your mother.

[Vesna]

So he knows what she did to you? Is he actually considering sending his daughter?

 

I have told him but whether he believes me or is just humouring me is another thing. Yes, he is considering sending her.

[Vesna]

Bailey B, I am decades past that statute of limitations. 52 and am being treated for breast cancer which my brother informed her of, only to receive the silent treatment.

 

I have been in therapy for almost 10 years to rid myself of the pain and start living and this has set me back quite a bit. Very triggering.

 

My brother's ex hates our mother (and me) with a passion and she would never allow it. She is not aware of the SA but she is aware that my mother lives like a dirty pig at a level 2 - 3 squalor and that in general, it is a house full of bigots.

 

I don't know how to handle this with as minimal interference as possible. I don't want to be the one whom is implicated if I did call the CPS.

 

From when I was very little, my mother told everybody I was such a dramatic little girl who made up interesting stories. Ergo, nobody believed me and I had no help.

[SunnyWeather]

OP, I am very sorry about what has happened to you. It is important that the cycle of abuse ends.

 

It doesn't matter if the statue of limitations have passed. If the perpetrator has access to children and you think they are at risk, it is imperative (in some states a legal necessity) that CPS be informed. You don't have to have any proof, just suspicion that further abuse could occur.

 

I strongly urge you to notify the CPS in your state and tell them what you have written here.

 

I hope you can get support and help to manage the horror you went through. You don't want this to happen to another child.

 

((((hugs))))

[Vesna]

I thought I had ended the cycle of abuse when I decided not to have kids and with a mother like mine, it was understandable.

 

People are going to know if it was me whom contacted CPS. They will put two and two together.

 

Honestly, I don't trust my brother. Intuition tells me they are in collusion and I am loathe to offer any opinion to him. While he continues contact with our mother, I will always be on the back foot. How do I know that he is not reporting back everything I say?

 

He hangs around for the inheritance. He frequently talks about what great things we will have when our mother has to move, or even better, drops dead. He will be rich but I won't because I don't love her. She will mess with my head from beyond the grave if she has the chance.

 

Oh ****.

[BaileyB]

I'm so sorry that this is so hard for you.

 

I hope that your brother is just doing this to yank your chain, but why he would want to do that is beyond me... Let's home, he is bluffing and/or the child's mother will stop this.

 

IF she does go, you have a responsibility to call CFS. I know, you don't want to do it.. But, you have a responsibility to protect your neice (and your brother needs a stern talking to by the authorities).

 

I personally, would give my life for my two little nieces - they are like my own children. I could not imagine them being in harms way... I would not hesitate to make the call - my mother and brother be damned!

 

Bless you. Your neice is blessed to have an aunt who is watching over her... Take care.

[d0nnivain]

My heart breaks for you & what you went through as a child. It must have been horrible but this is where you lost me:

 

I don't know how to handle this with as minimal interference as possible. I don't want to be the one whom is implicated if I did call the CPS.

 

It may be one of the most difficult things you have ever done but if your brother is reckless enough to leave his preteen daughter alone with the predator who gave birth to you, the second you know that is happening you have to be on the phone with CPS. Think how much different your life would have been if an adult rescued you. You have to save the niece by any means possible. This isn't about you any more. It's about the child.

 

Try telling your therapist what is going on. That person will also have a legal obligation to act.

[stillafool]

If I were you I wouldn't ever have anything to do with your mother again. Let her find out and believe whatever she wants about you as you know the truth and especially the truth about her. If you have told your brother about your mother's sexual abuse of you and he didn't listen then tell your nieces mother. If she doesn't listen you can tell your niece what happened and tell her to not let her grandmother touch her.

[SunnyWeather]

Try telling your therapist what is going on. That person will also have a legal obligation to act.

 

 

YES! times a hundred.

 

OP, here's the deal, your mother could be in contact with other children you don't even know about. The sooner she is reported, the sooner she will be investigated and perhaps not given the opportunity to ruin another life.

 

Calls to CPS can be anonymous. Tell your therapist your concerns and release the burden. I strongly urge you to act sooner rather than later.

 

Please update us if you feel so inclined. There are people here who care.

[preraph]

You have a moral obligation and a legal duty to report them to

CPS. If you get no action from them, call the police.

[Vesna]

I didn't sleep at all last night and no bloody wonder. I appreciate all the responses here and naturally, it feels like a quandary.

 

My brother could be bluffing/trying to yank my chain. If so, then that is sick. He has so many of our mother's N traits but not on a malignant level. On a few occasions he has said that underage sex is permissible. Sure, 40000 years ago when human life expectancy was about 30! He has a penchant for younger women and his beautiful partner looks about 15 until she turns around. He also has a porn addiction.

 

Our mother is on a CPAP machine and has a multitude of other physical complaints. If only she kept the house as spick as she keeps her medications which are out there for all to see. She is and always has been sick. It has been 11 years since I have seen her or spoken to her and now that my bro has come out with his own versions of events, it looks like she will lose him as well once the kids are grown. She loaned him a huge amount of money to build his own home after the divorce and now I guess he feels beholden to her. Her generosity comes with a lot of strings. eg I caught her opening my mail when I was 35 and I called her on it. Response?

 

"I want that $283.47 back!!! You can sit in cold and darkness for all I care!"

 

What am I? Her bitch? Prostitute?

 

I know she is lurking on my social media, which I have left open as I have nothing to hide. She was last person to find out I have BC and she will be fuming and no doubt wondering how she can get back into my good books. I will rip up any cheque that comes my way if it has her name on it. I am doing it fine on Disability Pension. She hates that.

 

This situation has triggered something in me and in some ways, I am still in denial and I know I shouldn't be.

[Vesna]

I will be informing my therapist this week. I will ask her to call the CPS on my behalf. I feel sick, angry and v tired. Too tired to cry, even. After that, nothing else to do aside from focusing on cancer treatment.

[BaileyB]

I will be informing my therapist this week. I will ask her to call the CPS on my behalf. I feel sick, angry and v tired. Too tired to cry, even. After that, nothing else to do aside from focusing on cancer treatment.

 

It is the right thing to do.

 

If you can't make the call yourself, please tell your therapist.

 

Take care.

[Miss Clavel]

I thought I had ended the cycle of abuse when I decided not to have kids and with a mother like mine, it was understandable.

 

People are going to know if it was me whom contacted CPS. They will put two and two together.

 

Honestly, I don't trust my brother. Intuition tells me they are in collusion and I am loathe to offer any opinion to him. While he continues contact with our mother, I will always be on the back foot. How do I know that he is not reporting back everything I say?

 

He hangs around for the inheritance. He frequently talks about what great things we will have when our mother has to move, or even better, drops dead. He will be rich but I won't because I don't love her. She will mess with my head from beyond the grave if she has the chance.

 

Oh ****.

 

that's hard. just tell him, when he brings up how much moooolay he's getting that you wouldn't touch that bithchs stuff with a ten foot pole.

 

nothing of hers has ever brought happiness.

 

karma.

[stillafool]

 

I know she is lurking on my social media, which I have left open as I have nothing to hide.

 

This situation has triggered something in me and in some ways, I am still in denial and I know I shouldn't be.

 

I think it would help you to Block your mother from your social media. It will help you to not feel anxious about her knowing what is happening in your life. Maybe you should stop communication with your brother while you're dealing with your cancer treatment. His situation is causing your stress which you do not need. You need to stay calm and take care of yourself.