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Trying to understand

Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 11th February 2018, 3:27 PM   #1
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Trying to understand

OK so my 25 yr old cousin was trying to plan a cruise to celebrate her graduating from college and getting accepted into grad school. She apparently has been saving up a long time from her job. Well my aunt ,mother,her stepdad,and my stepdad found out about it( she lives in a small town and some big mouth tattled when she got her passport) they are flipping the hell out. Talking about girls going off and getting kidnapped and talking about how someone this month feel off the cruise ship never to be found.She informed them shes going with friends and they are going to be in a travel group for young women. They still flipped out saying she would be a fool if she went.

They tried to get me involved ,but I dont see the issue especially since all of their old butts went on cruises routinely when we were all kids. They claim things were different(sorry but the 80s and 90s isnt that long ago HA). I stated that just like they lived life and had fun baby cousin deserves a chance to do the same. I was yelled at and told i just dont get it because im not a parent(well why ask me in the first place i was minding my own dern business ).

This type of stuff is why I hesitate to have kids of my own(that and i like my money,time,freedom,and sleep). I would hope that if i had a twenty five yr old adult child id have better things to do than micromanange them...either I raised them right or I didnt. Trying to helicopter at 25 is too little too late IMO.

Again I am taking into account I am not a parent so I ask you that are parents. What say you? Should my family elders be this upset about my 25 yr old recently graduated cousin who has her own job and even had her own place at one point(she moved out because her roommate decided they wanted to sell drugs instead having real jobs)?

Side note : If i gotta micromanage a 25 yr old i think i really will opt out of being a mom......
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Old 11th February 2018, 3:44 PM   #2
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It does seem ridiculous but it's not your fight. If asked again, remind them that your cousin in a adult who they "raised right" & that she's a college graduate with a good head on her shoulders & they need to calm down. But don't act as a go between.
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Old 11th February 2018, 5:38 PM   #3
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Well as long as they arent cruising to Syria or Iraq or somewhere like that, what is the issue? Do they know how many cruise ships there are and how many people cruise every year? They have a better shot of being in a car accident then getting kidnapped off a cruise.
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Old 11th February 2018, 8:07 PM   #4
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Human Trafficking is happening right here on our own soil and a lot of it between here and Mexico, plus all around the world. That said, if they're going as a group and going on a reputable cruise line and they are careful what cabs or transport they take, they should be okay.

There's way more human trafficking now.

But there's always been a little. In the mid-nineties, I took two of my female employees to a regional meeting in Atlanta. At the Atlanta airport, we followed the signs to the cab line outside the door. But before we could get out there, a man intercepted us and said he was the next cab in line and to come with him. Not being familiar with the custom at this airport we began following him and he led us away from the line of cabs. I asked where he was parked and he just said "not much further," but I could see the next parking was a long ways away and I told the girls, "We're not doing this. Come on," and we turned around and walked off.

Looking back, I do think he was trying something. The two girls were both beautiful and I wasn't so awful but older. He picked us out of the lobby, lied to us at the very least, and at the very least was stealing someone else's fare. At worst, he could well have been a human trafficker.

So they should research before they go and know what they're doing every step of the way.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 12th February 2018, 12:29 AM   #5
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Not your circus, not your monkeys...

But yeah, she is a responsible adult and should be able to make decisions and travel where she wishes. Your family, although probably well intended, need to stand down.

Would you consider going with her? Perhaps, they would be more comfortable if they knew she wasn't traveling alone (in a group ).

Last edited by BaileyB; 12th February 2018 at 12:33 AM..
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Old 12th February 2018, 1:32 AM   #6
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Once a child is out on his/her own working and paying his/her own bills, imo, he's/she's an adult and a parent should no longer give unsolicited advice.

Twenty-five years old and college graduate with a job paying her own bills? Parents are out of line to tell her what she should do.

That said, a wise young person asks a parent for advice; however, haven't seen many young people (including myself at that age) ask for advice from parents.
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Old 12th February 2018, 1:53 AM   #7
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Your cousin is a twenty five year old woman, not a child. Maybe this will be her opportunity to assert her independence and be treated like an adult.

I think you were right to express your opinion, even if they didn't agree.
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