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Do you have a good relationship with your mom/dad/brother/sister?


ZayKayWill

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Mom - Amazing woman. I have so much respect for her it's not even funny.

 

Dad - Honestly we didn't have a good relationship for a while. Very alpha "I'm always right" kind of personality. Honestly there was a point in time in when the whole family wanted him dead...He can still be a jerk sometimes but I know he would die for me. He says I'm his absolute favorite person...so I mean... gotta give him credit for that you know?

 

Brother- 11 years older than me. Computer engineer. Always got along great. I honestly can't think of one time when we fought.

 

Sister - 14 years older than me (Im 27). Love her too. Although since she tended to have some very extremist Christian views, we never exactly were 'close' but I always loved her. She treated me like her kid when I was born honestly.

 

Man. My family is pretty awesome now that I look at the big picture. Definitely super thankful to be so blessed. :/

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Yes, my parents are amazing. They definitely gave me a great childhood and continue to be my number one supporters well into adulthood.

 

I would say that they have the perfect balance of being actual parents with boundaries, but still being very open and relaxed, as well as having their own life but still always being there for me.

 

Definitely the kind of parents I aspire to be to my own child.

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Yes I do.

 

No siblings here, but both parents while they have their flaws are good. My father can still sometimes be obnoxious or silly (to put it nicely) but I cannot complain much. I am not perfect either.

 

Same with uncles, aunts and the remaining grandma. All good.

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I'm an only child. Both of my parents are gone now & I miss them.

 

Thoughout my life I had a difficult relationship with my mother. She was a Tiger Mom before that term was coined. She was a force to be reckoned with -- smart, driven, independent & a woman ahead of her time who had lived through a rough life; my grandmother was neglectful & verbally abusive after my grandfather died when my mom was 12. As I got older mom & I made peace sort of . . . it was more like a mutual respect for the other's power / anger & ability to hold a grudge. We didn't talk about anything important ever because she didn't really respect me but we co-existed. She developed Alzheimer's at the end of her life. I was her caregiver & fiercest protector.

 

I always had a great relationship with my dad. We would talk about anything & everything. He was the peace-maker between my mom & me. My heart broke for him in the 18 months between my mom's death & his. He missed the love of his life so much.

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I'm an only child. Both of my parents are gone now & I miss them.

 

Thoughout my life I had a difficult relationship with my mother. She was a Tiger Mom before that term was coined. She was a force to be reckoned with -- smart, driven, independent & a woman ahead of her time who had lived through a rough life; my grandmother was neglectful & verbally abusive after my grandfather died when my mom was 12. As I got older mom & I made peace sort of . . . it was more like a mutual respect for the other's power / anger & ability to hold a grudge. We didn't talk about anything important ever because she didn't really respect me but we co-existed. She developed Alzheimer's at the end of her life. I was her caregiver & fiercest protector.

 

I always had a great relationship with my dad. We would talk about anything & everything. He was the peace-maker between my mom & me. My heart broke for him in the 18 months between my mom's death & his. He missed the love of his life so much.

 

What happened to them if you don't mind me asking?

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littleblackheart

Yes.

 

My sisters are like best friends, even though I probably wouldn't have chosen them for friends were we not related (I don't know if that makes sense!). We rely on each other for anything and we have each other's back always. They are fabulous aunties and great women in general.

 

My parents make an extremely dysfunctional couple together but they are good people individually, my mother especially. I have a lot of respect for them for different reasons.

 

All in all, I consider myself lucky.

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My exW called my family situation 'Beaver Cleaver'

 

No problems. Mom was a little too doting for my taste as an adult but I laid out some boundaries which she respected. Parents were married for life, mom outlived dad by about 25 years and never remarried.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

My dad's been deceased for 11 years, but we had a very good relationship. Not physically affectionate, but he was very supportive and we were really good friends. He was a wonderful Pop-Pop to my kids.

 

My mom and I have butt heads a lot over the years, but we are very close. She annoys the hell out of me sometimes, but she's the most unselfish woman I know and just an all-around great Christian lady.

 

I have one sibling, an identical twin. We've always been very, very close, but the last couple of years have been very trying on our relationship. We aren't as close as we once were and it's one of the biggest stressors in my life right now.

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What happened to them if you don't mind me asking?

 

 

The died. They were in their mid 80s. She had a stroke. He had a heart attack.

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Aiuta le mani

We had our ups and downs but my family is good! My father was distant while I was a child but we have a good relationship!

My mom and I have a great relationship now! growing up, she had to struggle with me a lot!

I have an older brother and sister and younger sister! we all get along well but I am bit closer to my sisters!

I have been blessed with a supportive family that loves my children and wants the best for me and my wife!

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It was a family of 5 and I grew up alone in the home

 

Dad was brutally abusive to me.

Mom was busy running her own agenda, a very manipulative individual.

Older sister and dad was inseparable till the day he died.

Younger sister was a self centered spoiled screaming brat, at 50 yrs old she remains the same.

 

I did not shed a tear at dads funeral. I did not go travel to go to my mothers.

The only tear I had about mom was that I missed out on having a mom.

 

The good that came out of all this church going phony family is I learned exactly what not to do if I ever had a family. My kids and I are very close to this very day.

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Dad - He was my absolute hero once, i was such a daddys boy as a kid, but not any more.. I haven't spoken to him since i was 10. My sister has chosen to see him a few times in recent years, says he always asks after me but, it is what it is, I just can't

 

Mum - I don't think shes a bad person, just weak..... I've watched her go through so much man, an abusive partner in my teens, alcohol problems that she still suffers with to this day, depression... I tried, but you cant save someone from themselves so i guess i just detached from our relationship, self preservation thing.. its hard to watch someone destroy themselves.

 

When I was 15, this guy she was engaged to at the time, was abusive, he grabbed her in the kitchen and I went flying in and punched him.. he was 6'4 and built like a tank, I got a black eye, a split eyebrow (that i should have had stitched) and what I'm pretty sure was a broken rib...... and she didnt throw it out, she just made it all my fault! All i'd been trying to do was help her. We never really moved passed that.

 

I dont actively not speak to her or anything though, we just never do... I saw her last a couple of years ago she came to the hospital when i was medically discharged from army.

 

Sister (twin sister) - I'm not good enough with words to say what that girl means to me! She's a saint! It always felt like us against the world growing up! She's been my biggest cheerleader, my best friend, my organiser, my defender, my stand up comedian, a ruddy great headache, a teacher, a chef, a partner in crime. I don't know how people go through their lives without a sister like that! :laugh:

 

She got pregnant when she was 16, so that was why I signed up to serve, so i could provide for her and my nephew! (I used to send her almost all my wages home, and when I got medically discharged, i found out that all that time she'd been putting half or more of what I gave her in a bank account to give back to me!)

I love them both, endlessly :D

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JustGettingBy

My mom and I have a very close relationship. She treats me like I'm still a lot younger than I am sometimes, but other than that its good.

 

My dad and I have our differences, but still have common respect.

 

My brother and I hated each other has kids, but now as adults we get along great.

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My mother and I had a terrible relationship with because of the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse she inflicted on me. She discovered radical feminism and felt that it justified the way she treated me because it was about time men and boys had the boot on their neck. I became the punching bag for all her rage and she never showed any remorse. Despite that I forgave her because it isn't good walking around with that hatred and I was becoming no better than her by hating women.

 

My father I sort of get along with but he stood by and did nothing while it happened. When my mom would make me live on the street because she couldn't stand to even look at a male he refused to take me in because he didn't want to make her angry. That is how afraid he was of her.

 

I have no brothers or sisters.

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Eternal Sunshine

I am blessed with the most loving and supportive family I could imagine.

Even though I live in another state now, we have a family group online chat and we talk all the time.

 

My mum is the kindest person I have ever met. She is my best friend and has stood by me no matter what.

 

My dad is more reserved but we are still close. He is just not as good in expressing emotions. I tend to seek practical advice from him (i.e. mortgage, boss problems..).

 

My brother and I are also very close. We share similar sense of humor and similar interests.

 

I had a picture perfect childhood. The only downside is that they have all set a bar very high in terms of empathy and integrity. Once I was out in the adult world, I got a very rude awakening when I saw that most people are not even close to that.

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Once I was out in the adult world, I got a very rude awakening when I saw that most people are not even close to that.

 

Yeah, shocking, especially when the dynamic was reinforced by the neighborhood being the same way. It was like all of us had a community of parents helping out. Even decades later going back to the old neighborhood while caregiving a lot of those people, now elderly, were still there and it was just like old times.

 

Nothing in life is perfect, of course, and it was how the imperfections were handled that defined the experience. Lots of freedom with clear and unambiguous boundaries. Can't remember a lick of hypocrisy, the old 'do as I say not as I do' stuff. That instilled a lifetime of respect.

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Mom - raised me mostly but not fully as alone. She was a good mom to me (maybe not so much my older siblings). I can see however that for a while she treated me a bit to much like the man of the home when I was too young for that, but it was just the two of us for a long while. She died 10 years ago.

 

Dad - Left when I was 5. We kept a loose but regular connection as he moved around the world. Later when I was a young man he became very much more a father and mentor to me until he died 6 years ago. He was not a good father to my siblings - he was abusive and mentally sick for a few years with them. However 15 years after all that mess - and for 20 more years he was VERY VERY important to me and my life and well being. He knew me better than anyone, and always had my back as an adult. Miss him so much.

 

Stepdads - various. #1 was abusive bad man #2 was authoritarian but not bad man #3 was okay but I was moved out by then.

 

Siblings - All my siblings are much older - up to 12 years older than me and mostly had moved out of the home at 17/18. Age differences and the breakup of our family and their moving out - meant we were not super close, but we see each other once a year and talk on the phone once every 2-3 weeks. Connected, follow each others lives - but not deeply close.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

She got pregnant when she was 16, so that was why I signed up to serve, so i could provide for her and my nephew! (I used to send her almost all my wages home, and when I got medically discharged, i found out that all that time she'd been putting half or more of what I gave her in a bank account to give back to me!)

 

Wow, you two are good to each other! <3

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CautiouslyOptimistic
My mother and I had a terrible relationship with because of the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse she inflicted on me. She discovered radical feminism and felt that it justified the way she treated me because it was about time men and boys had the boot on their neck. I became the punching bag for all her rage and she never showed any remorse. Despite that I forgave her because it isn't good walking around with that hatred and I was becoming no better than her by hating women.

 

My father I sort of get along with but he stood by and did nothing while it happened. When my mom would make me live on the street because she couldn't stand to even look at a male he refused to take me in because he didn't want to make her angry. That is how afraid he was of her.

 

I have no brothers or sisters.

 

Heartbreaking :(.

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Not close to my mother at all. She was very cruel to me as a child and it continued into adulthood. My mother doesn't like me partly because I stand up to her. She also hates the way I won't pretend to be close to her in order to save face. My mother used to others being too afraid to call her out for her BS. Now that my mother is elderly, she wants a close relationship but I am not interested in that.

 

Close to my younger brother. I'm very proud of the man he has grown into. He's a wonderful dad.

 

Very close to my father. I am his favorite child and he adores me. I was angry with him when I was younger because he never protected me from my mother's abuse. Now I realize that he was just a weak victim. It is what it is.

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LivingWaterPlease

Dad was in the navy and quite a party boy before he married mom. He was brilliant, witty, eccentric, charismatic and abusive, having suffered PTSD from being in WW11 and going through some awful stuff. In the navy he was the champion wrestler in his weight category. When I was nine he came into a relationship with Jesus Christ and began to change into the most wonderful man you can imagine that I became very close to.

 

I could write many touching and entertaining stories about dad. Others have written stories about him that are published. He died about 18 years ago.

 

Mom is a talented, brilliant fun-loving lady and people who know/have known her always mention her beauty to me. I have never been close to her but since she has gotten quite old she is more open to being close with me which I'm thankful for.

 

I have brothers and sisters I like but am not close with at this point. We have a sister who has narcissistic borderline personality disorder and keeps our family dynamics stirred up so I have just distanced myself from being close in order to keep my sanity, lol! I do go to family functions and enjoy being with my family, though. My NBPD sister has alienated herself from our family and doesn't attend family functions, thankfully.

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LivingWaterPlease
My mother and I had a terrible relationship with because of the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse she inflicted on me. She discovered radical feminism and felt that it justified the way she treated me because it was about time men and boys had the boot on their neck. I became the punching bag for all her rage and she never showed any remorse. Despite that I forgave her because it isn't good walking around with that hatred and I was becoming no better than her by hating women.

 

My father I sort of get along with but he stood by and did nothing while it happened. When my mom would make me live on the street because she couldn't stand to even look at a male he refused to take me in because he didn't want to make her angry. That is how afraid he was of her.

 

I have no brothers or sisters.

 

Woggle, I am in awe of what a great guy you seem to be despite having gone through this. I am glad you post on LS. Hugs to you!

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Dad - He was my absolute hero once, i was such a daddys boy as a kid, but not any more.. I haven't spoken to him since i was 10. My sister has chosen to see him a few times in recent years, says he always asks after me but, it is what it is, I just can't

 

Mum - I don't think shes a bad person, just weak..... I've watched her go through so much man, an abusive partner in my teens, alcohol problems that she still suffers with to this day, depression... I tried, but you cant save someone from themselves so i guess i just detached from our relationship, self preservation thing.. its hard to watch someone destroy themselves.

 

When I was 15, this guy she was engaged to at the time, was abusive, he grabbed her in the kitchen and I went flying in and punched him.. he was 6'4 and built like a tank, I got a black eye, a split eyebrow (that i should have had stitched) and what I'm pretty sure was a broken rib...... and she didnt throw it out, she just made it all my fault! All i'd been trying to do was help her. We never really moved passed that.

 

I dont actively not speak to her or anything though, we just never do... I saw her last a couple of years ago she came to the hospital when i was medically discharged from army.

 

Sister (twin sister) - I'm not good enough with words to say what that girl means to me! She's a saint! It always felt like us against the world growing up! She's been my biggest cheerleader, my best friend, my organiser, my defender, my stand up comedian, a ruddy great headache, a teacher, a chef, a partner in crime. I don't know how people go through their lives without a sister like that! :laugh:

 

She got pregnant when she was 16, so that was why I signed up to serve, so i could provide for her and my nephew! (I used to send her almost all my wages home, and when I got medically discharged, i found out that all that time she'd been putting half or more of what I gave her in a bank account to give back to me!)

I love them both, endlessly :D

 

Casper I'm sorry that you had such lousy parents but your relationship with your sister is truly touching. I'm glad you two had each other.

 

As for me:

 

Mom - my mom was also a weak person. Needy and self centred. Not a bad person, she actually had some wonderful qualities too, but she couldn't be independent, needed a man, and needed to feel like the center of the universe. I loved her and wanted to be close to her until I was in my late twenties and started to want our relationship to go both ways. Our relationship had always been all about her. Her needs, her feelings, her demands. She was not capable of a give and take relationship and so I grew distant from her. Never stopped talking to her but just really lowered my expectations and kept her at a distance.

 

First brother - he was my first sibling, born when I was 13yrs old and I adored him and still do. He was part of the reason why my mom made me so angry. Because when my mom wound up divorced and I had left home long ago my brother was only 10yrs old and my mom unleashed all of her neediness on him. By the time he was a teenager he was literally taking care of her rather than her taking care of him. He has grown up to be a fine man who is nothing but kind and caring and I'm proud of him.

 

Second brother - he was born when I was sixteen and I had already left home. I think this brother has a mental illness or personality disorder. When he was a kid he was diagnosed with ADD but his behaviour and problems go way beyond that. He is abusive, he uses people, and he is incapable of feeling empathy or thinking of anyone else beyond himself. He also had a very toxic relationship with my mother where she had no boundaries and no rules where he was concerned. In his mind he owned her and she existed solely for him, yet he treated her with total contempt and disrespect and she acted like there was nothing wrong with a son screaming foul names at her, spitting at her, pushing her, etc. She put up with his abuse until she moved into a care home full time 8yrs ago, believing that deep down he really loved her. After she went into care and she no longer had an apartment where he could come and go as he pleased and she could no longer give him money (my other brother took over her finances and bills) my brother washed his hands of her. He has never even visited her once in the past 8yrs. Since I only ever saw him at my moms place I haven't seen him in the last 8yrs either and for the most part I'm good with that.

 

Biological father - don't have much to say about him. Didn't meet him until I was 30yrs old and then we only had a polite relationship where I would talk him a few times a year. We never got close or developed any sort of meaningful relationship. He died 15yrs after I met him.

 

Stepfather - my mom married him when I was 9 and I went to live with them fulltime. Before that I had lived with my grandma or other people. He was an alcoholic and hard drug user. I was scare of him as he was abusive. He cheated on my mom and beat her up once but she was weak and needy and never left him. When I was 11 he and my mom gave up drinking and drugs and became born again Christians. Sounds like a happy ending but it wasn't. He became a total religious fanatic who used God as a weapon. Now not only was I a disappointment to him, I was also a huge disappointment to God. He was still miserable, controlling and mean. I ran away from home at sixteen to escape him. My mom stayed married to him until I was 23 but I still saw him from time to time because he was my brothers biological father. I never had a good relationship but he did try to make amends with me and he did really help me out a couple of times so I had softened up to him somewhat. He died of liver disease 8yrs ago.

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