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dauther and clothing


momlorning

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So today I was putting away some clothing, and found that my 16 year old daughter has a few pairs of thigh high stockings and garter belts. Should I be worried about this? She has been seeing the same guy for just about two years now, I dont know how I should feel. I guess she is having sex, she has never talked to me about it. She has a lot of short skits, and high heels but I just thought that was normal. I also found a corset and some other sexy things when I was in there.

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Hmmm... I know that it's shocking to find that stuff. In your case maybe you should mention something to her about getting birth control. I know that is a hard talk but it's better then her getting pregnant at her age. If you yell at her about it she will just keep doing it. Maybe you could ask her "Since when are you allowed to wear this to School?". This should be a mother/daughter conversation. Bring her father into it might make it far worst then it really is.

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Take her to the doctor and put her on birth control. Have SOMEONE show her how to put on condoms. I really wish people would take the bull by the horns on this kind of thing...parents!!! There is nothing you can do to stop her from having sex short of locking her up. Educate her.

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Should I be worried about this?

Yes you should be worried. I had sex when I was 16 and I didn't have a clue what I was doing even though I was in a "relationship." His mom gave us condoms and used them (they teach you how to put one on from about 6th grade on..), but I should have been on the pill as well. Of course my parents knew none of this so I could never have asked my mom about going on the pill. So the inevitable happened, the condom broke, quite a few times. I never got pregnant but that was quite a scare for being 16. I didn't have sex for 3.5 years after that relationship.

 

I guess she is having sex, she has never talked to me about it.
That's because she's worried you're going to freak out on her and she's embarassed, nevermind her dad probably wanting to kick the guy's ass. So maybe you could bring it up as a discussion and mention that you don't know if she is having sex or not, but you figured it might be happening since she's been with this guy for quite some time. Tell her that you are worried about her health and so if she is having sex, you'd rather be safe about things and make sure she goes to the doctor for paps and to get birth control pills. She's going to be really embarassed so you may have to do a little prodding to get her more comfortable about talking to you about it.
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  • 2 weeks later...

:mad:

 

If she finds out you "breached her privacy" you will lose trust and therefore precious communication.

 

At the very least, I might suggest that she has already gotten some pointers about condoms and birth control pills from either her boyfriend or school nurse.

 

If not, you might say that it occurs to you that she is of an age when birth control is a thought and have some discussion about how if she is responsible, it will make you very proud.

 

And then ask if there is anything you can do to help her....

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You guess she is having sex? I would find out and hit the Dr.'s office before we have to call you gramma. I go to her as a friend then as a parent make her feel safe or you will push it away. But letting the issue of sex slide might result in some problems and I am not talking just about having children at a young age. Good Luck!

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