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daughter and thongs


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My daughter is 11years old and in 6th grade. The other day while she was sitting down I noticed a thong sticking out of her pants. I did not confront her about them because I didn't know what to say. We live behind a shopping center with a department store so I assume she bought them on her own there. Is this normal for an eleven year old girl? I don't even know how long she has been wearing them for. Should I ask her about them? Should tell her she cannot wear them? Or should I ignore it, which I am not comfortable doing.

What should I do?

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In one of the teen/kid shoe stores in my local mall, there is a plastic bucket with thongs in it on the counter for purchase. I have seen thongs in the young girls sections of some clothing stores. Thongs are just underwear these days; almost everyone wears them.

 

If this bothers you it would make sense to talk to your daughter about it; you are her parent.

 

A lot of young girls wear sexy underwear, and a lot of clothing manufacturers are making sexy underwear for younger girls. Because this is so common now, your daughter may just be wearing what she likes to wear, and hopefully it is not any type of a warning sign. It would still be a very good idea to talk to her about this, though.

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RecordProducer

Talk to her! You should be best friends. Don't judge her. She wants to be an adult and adults wear sexy panties. She probably doesn't want her underwear to be visible under her jeans or skirt. Probably most girls at school wear them. It's no big deal. Don't lose her trust on such a stupid thing. She might need you if some big problem occurs and if you disappoint her now, she will be left all alone throughout her teenage period. The fact that she didn't "report" the thong to you is alarming. Just let her know kindly and with a smile that she can tell you everything and you will always understand her. Don't punish her for not telling you anything. Troubles begin when secrets are kept and secrets start when parents are too strict.

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quankanne

ewwwwww .... butt floss for pre-teens :sick:

 

sorry, but the idea of thong underwear just grosses me out. Why pay money for a piece of material you'd normally dig out of your bottom? I'm sure they're comfy to those women who are accustomed to wearing them, but still .... If this were me, I'd probably have the same response when asking my child about her undergarments, but in all honesty, she's old enough to dress herself even if you don't agree with what she wears. Don't make a big deal about it, and let her come to her own conclusion about whether she likes how comfortable they are/are not.

 

DO let her know that regardless of what kind of undergarments she wears, it's much, much classier to cover up and know you've got them on than it is to flaunt them for the whole world to see. That she can wear sexy clothes without having to look tacky. Hopefully this will help make decisions that are respectful of others' sensibilities as well as her own self-image.

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Why pay money for a piece of material you'd normally dig out of your bottom?

 

ROTFL!!! My thoughts precisely. Sure, buy a heap o' them and don them prior to nocturnal rompings, or when you're staying in to enjoy 'home entertainment' but to wear them as regular underwear is crazy. Then again, maybe some people have really tough groins and don't find them painful LOL

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sweetpea01

I agree with RP. Don't come off as attacking or judgemental for wearing a thong. Kids are growing up fast these days, perhaps that is the new trend (although 11 is young) and she is trying to fit in. If you could, bring it up in a non-threatening way. Say, hon, I found these in the wash, are they yours? If you don't act like you are super shocked and horrified by them, she will be more comfortable expanding on how and why she has them. It doesn't mean she is out having sex, or doing other things - probably just trying to fit in with the other girls fashion-wise. But, do explain to her that she is young, and while you might not mind her wearing them in the future, she has alternatives, such as those cute little shorts-like underwear. The name slips my mind.

 

 

 

SP

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Most likely all her friends are wearing them. Yup, wellcome to the friendsly word of socia pressure! It gets to your pants too :p!

 

Talk to her about it. Don't threatern her or yell at her, it's very easy to ridicule her.

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Originally posted by sweetpea01

such as those cute little shorts-like underwear. The name slips my mind.

 

hehe boy shorts? :) Despite the name, they are cute/sexy.

 

Wow 11! I was still playing with barbies at 11.

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Odd. I'm fairly certain that I had already responded to this thread. Apparently I was wrong.

 

Clothing lines are marketing thongs to a younger audience these days. I know that the shoe store in my mall, the children/teen shoe store, has a bucket at the counter full of thongs for purchase. Walking through department stores, I notice that there are thongs in the young girls sections, as well.

 

Apparently, this is what kids are wearing now. Your daughter might not consider the thongs anything more than regular underwear, or a trend.

 

If this is bothering you, you have every right to bring it up with your daughter; you are her mother.

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RecordProducer

This obviously has more to do with fashion than with sex. I would find it more terrible if she wore sexy clothes and make-up or dyed her hair. Cuz that's exactly how she could end up in some pervert's hands as young as she is.

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SadAndLonely

If my mom had tried too hard to be "friends" with me I don't think I would have grown up respecting her. It's like those parents who buy alcohol for their 15 year olds because they want to be "friends" with them. I'm closer to my mom at anything (and I'm 30), but it's not because she was "friends" with me. It's because she was my mother and did her job.

 

You are her mother. What you say should go. I'm not suggesting coming down hard on her, but being too friendly can really backfire, and she may not take you seriously.

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I think she's too young. Thongs with eleven? RecordProducer said it would be worse if she wore sexy clothes, but I think it's the same, sexy underwear or sexy clothes. Eleven year old kids should nott worry about this stuff.

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RecordProducer

Maybe you're right, guys, I don't know. Maybe it is a big deal, but this child obviously does things behind her mom's back. She is a rebel at heart and being close to her is probably a better strategy of manipulation in order to control her behavior. If the mom forbids thong, she will let her know who should be the last person to know what's going on in her life. At least that's what I think, but I might be wrong.

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Wearing sexy clothing is part of a trend for pre-pubescent children. The slang is "prosti-tot."

 

I don't like the trend and I think kids should be allowed to be kids. But who am I to tell parents not to allow their own children to dress like bait for child molesters.

 

Thongs for an 11 year old girl just isn't right. If I had an 11 year old daughter I'd struggle with this issue but in the end probably decide that she can't wear them regardless of how many of her friends are wearing them. Bad friend, good father.

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SixthSt.Girl

Well, it depends on the thong - thongs aren't all sexy. The Hanes packaged thongs, and the typical Wal-mart thong with the large piece of fabric in the middle aren't what I would call sexy. The stringy, lacy thong, basically a G-string, is inappropriate attire for a child. I wear thongs because they don't show panty lines with skirts and dress pants. They aren't very sexy thongs, either. Columbus is one of the only cities in Ohio that has decent clothing stores for people who aren't 50+ and plus-size. :mad:

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RecordProducer

If the poor little girl only knew we're discussing her panties here! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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Ok IMO 11 is way to young to be wearing thongs. Deffiently. But that IS MY opinion. It would be up to you, and possibly her father, weather its an issue you want to address. And as you posted a thread about it it obv is lol (sorry its WAY too early to funtion properly :p ) Anyway no disrespect but im finding it hard to understand why oyu posted this and didnt just talk to her straight out? :confused: Anyway, dont make it out a huge deal just say to her "i dont like you wearing thongs i think yure too young and i dont like the fact you done it behind my back" Or something along those lines. And deffiently let her know that you want her to be able to be honest with you and come to you.

 

I agree with the majority that she is most probably wearing them for fashion and cos maybe her friends are wearing them. I doubt its anything sexual. But this day and age you do have to be carefull wot message you send out there ;) ( And im only 16 years old! lol :laugh: )

 

Good luck :)

 

 

 

Wow, I would spank the hell out of my kid if she did that.

 

:rolleyes: That right there says alot..

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Originally posted by SadAndLonely

If my mom had tried too hard to be "friends" with me I don't think I would have grown up respecting her. It's like those parents who buy alcohol for their 15 year olds because they want to be "friends" with them. I'm closer to my mom at anything (and I'm 30), but it's not because she was "friends" with me. It's because she was my mother and did her job.

 

You are her mother. What you say should go. I'm not suggesting coming down hard on her, but being too friendly can really backfire, and she may not take you seriously.

 

Its all about getting a balance. My mum is my best friend untill i need to be told..If she needs to tell me she will but i know for a fact, and i do do it, i can go to her about anything i want really. And we have conversations like were the best buddies. And i totally respect her as a mum and as a great person. :love:

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XNemesisX

I don't see what the big deal is about her panties. My younger sister is the same age as Guest's daughter and she wears thongs. Not because of how sexy they are but because she doesn't want panty lines with certain outfits. It's just underwear.

 

Oh and my sister also puts platinum blonde streaks in her hair, wears makeup, and is VERY fashionable. (she has several Louis Vuitton purses and even a Gucci bag).

 

It's just a difference in generations. When I was that age no one cared about panty lines or designer brands to the extent they do today. I did wear makeup at 11 and highlighted my hair but that's about it. My parents would have beat me to death for sneaking thongs but with my younger sister, it's just what the kids are into these days. It doesn't mean your daughter is out showing them off to guys or anyting. :rolleyes:

 

Lighten up people.

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When 11 year old kids worry about their pantyline I find it worrisome. I understand that peer pressure is strong, but I'd expect parents to establish enough self-confidence in their kids that they can look beyond superficialities and stand up for themselves.

 

I think everybody is materialistic to some extent, but the age limit is pushed too far nowadays.

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