Need advice about psycho sister

[Karate Girl]

Hi. I need some advice. I recently came out to the west coast. Upon arriving here I have been stalked, harassed, and cyberbullied by my sister. The whole time I have been stressed out. I did not enjoy myself, or I could not relax. I recently got into the army, and I am nothing but stressed out. I live in Canada by the way. My boyfriend lives in New York. She sent him and his friends really bad lies about me. She told them that I was way older than I am, that I am a hooker, she is making up some weird fake name and putting it along side my name. She is constantly harassing me non stop. She won't stop even though I have provided her with a police report number.

 

She is spreading really bad lies about me. Saying that I was charged with attempt murder, she even called US customs on me and spread lies, then told me there is a red flag on my file. She stole a pic of my boyfriend and made a fake Facebook account using it with a pic of me he had on his. She won't stop. I feel she has some self esteem issues and that she has severe mental illness. I have moved across the country to get away from her. All my life she has been attacking me. She doesn't even want my own mother to see me, or talk to me. She kicked down the door when I was visiting my mother and 911 was called. She posted me on the dirty and it was removed right away. The police are very slow and not doing much.

 

She is very mad because her ex boyfriend reached out to me for help to stop her from harassing him as well. She accuses me of wanting him, but I'm trying to help him deal with this, cause I'm going through it. I plan on getting a peace bond done. She doesn't work and lives on government disability. I gave her driving lessons with my car and tried to help her. I took her out to eat few times, when she buys anyone anything she will throw it back in your face.

 

She stole my dog I had for two years and sold it online. She has stole many times from me. I had enough and I don't know what to do. I want to go see my boyfriend but she messed it up. She's trying to ruin my life. Its not my fault that I'm ambitious and did things with my life. All my friends hate her and said she is psycho. They told me she sent things to them. Its so bad that I wish she was dead. She is over weight. I tried to help her. She didn't want it, and wouldn't try. She keeps eating junk food, and won't exercise. Just cause I am fit she mocks me. I can't deal with this.

 

How can I get the online harassment to stop. She doesn't shower and her nails are long and very dirty. She wears the same clothes everyday. She stunk my place up like dog puss really bad. Everyone said that I am prettier than her. Its not my fault she does nothing and let herself go. What can I do to get her to stop. I was recently offered a high paying job, the guy looked me up and said no. She ruined my life already. My mother kept complaining to me that she was abusing a cat. She has killed kittens. When she looked after my dog, her and her brother abused it. Please help me with advice.

Edited December 3, 2014 by Karate Girl

[almond]

This is criminal harrassment - you need to persist with contacting the police. Unfortunately, it can be a slow process...but document everything and continue to report everything. Eventually, they will do something.

 

You need to speak with your mother, and get in touch with some services re: mental illness. Go and see them - ask for advice. This is a terribly sad story, but not one they haven't heard before. Your sister is clearly ill...if she is killing animals and being voilent, you need to call the police. Tell them she is mentally ill, and hopefully they will put her on a psych hold eventually, and start some kind of treatment.

 

Protect yourself - have no contact with her at all unless she agrees to treatment. Apply for a restraining order if you have to.

 

Go and get help for yourself - this is incredibly hard to deal with, and you could use some support and advice. A good therapist can help you navigate your way through this.

 

I feel for you and your family, and I wish you all the best <3

[darkmoon]

stop helping her ex, i can see sister is bad, but you are interfering in her life, her ex should mean no more to you than her does to her, yet you are busy playing your part in this, let him "reach out" elsewhere, to a counsellor

 

tell her you will leave her ex alone in future, stop doing what she obviously can not stand

 

or are you enjoying creating a reason to demonise her?

 

try for a truce

Edited December 3, 2014 by darkmoon

[anika99]

Everybody has to report her. Her ex should be reporting her harassment and your mother should be reporting for animal abuse. If everyone reports her behavior perhaps the police will take the situation more seriously. She does sound very mentally ill

 

 

It also does sound like you have been participating in the drama however. All the "she smells and I'm prettier" statements indicate that you have not been innocent in all these incidents. Why would you even leave your dog with this person? Cut off all contact with her, do not try to help her and do not engage in any drama with her but document everything she is doing to harass you. What does your mother say about this?

[Karate Girl]

I did call the police. There is a police report. I didn't know that she was abusing animals till the mother kept complaining to me about it. I'm at my wits ends. Its frustrating dealing with the police because they are very slow. She did a lot of damages to me already. I don't know why she keeps stalking and harassing me. Someone told me why did I bring them back in my life because its been nothing but stress and problems for me. I got a good friend that is helping me get a restraining order. Its going to take a few weeks. She tried to turn everyone against me. But they know me, and they know its all lies. I don't deserve this. I should of just stayed by myself. My mother let's her walk all over her. I told her why is she allowing this. I'm trying my best to get this dome. No about her ex, he is the one asking me to help him. He keeps bothering me to do something. There is only so much that I can do. The police are very slow, and there are laws about criminal harassment. She stressed me out big time the whole month. She doesn't even want my own mother to talk to me. This is very shellfish. Her ex called me today and I never picked up. She already did too many damages to me. No I'm not trying to demonize her, but she is putting me through a living hell. I exited their lives, that's why she wanted, now she won't leave me alone, or people I know. And my boyfriend is getting pissed. So I'm at my wits ends here

Edited December 4, 2014 by Karate Girl

[Gloria25]

Yes, dealing with someone stalking and/or harassing you is tough.

 

All I can recommend is to breathe, breathe, breathe. Document, document, document. Record, record, record.

 

Screen your calls. Don't answer.

 

Actually, if you can afford to move and/or change your contact info (i.e. telephone number) that is even better.

 

Also, avoid contact with anyone (i.e. your mother) that would leak information back to them about you.

 

I did notice you talking about how she walks all over your mother. I can't tell you what to do, but sometimes you gotta let certain things go. Unless your mom is losing her mental capabilities (and you are willing/able) to go to a court of law and prove that, you can't stop your mom from being taken advantage of. I mean, it seems like the "squeaky wheel" gets the attention in families and stuff - which means that for whatever reason (guilt, embarrassment, etc.) parents will cater to the bad and/or "helpless" ones.

 

Also, maybe by you not concerning yourself with how your sister interacts with your mom, maybe your sister will back off and let you be. I mean, you could be messing with her "meal ticket".

 

In other words, step away from the drama. In my case, if it wasn't for my mom being under my roof, I'd be clueless as to the drama going on in my family, cuz I don't care. I don't call them, I don't inquire, I keep to myself. At one point I even did not let them know where I lived and/or how to contact me.

 

We can't choose our family. But, just cuz people are linked to us by blood, does not obligate us to them. Bad people come from "somewhere", they just don't drop out of the sky. Bad people have sisters, brothers, parents - get my drift? So, if you got bad people who wear the title of "family", then do what you need to do to protect yourself and your stress level.

[darkmoon]

you discuss your sister here, ok, but what would your sister say about you?

 

just wondering, what does sister think about you?

Edited December 4, 2014 by darkmoon

[ITw]

She sounds like my cousin. My cousin stole so much money from me and other family members over the years. She stirred up so much trouble in the family and with our mutual friends. She lied so much, you couldn't believe anything that came out of her mouth. She even went as far as to steal items from my house and pawn them off. She would post crazy cryptic crap on Facebook and Twitter, almost like she was bragging about everything she was doing.

 

Even when we were onto her, she was still foolish enough to think that we couldn't see her true colors. It was weird. It was like she thought she had some kind of importance or control in our lives. I really think she thought she could steal from us forever, instead of getting a real job. I stopped answering her phone calls. She then started coming to my house at all hours of the day and night making so much noise, yelling for me to let her in and talk to her. I finally just cut her out of my life. She's just too much.

[Karate Girl]

Someone will deal with her one day. I'm moving on with my life. Main thing is I'm happy with what I do. They not part of my lives anymore and I'd like to keep it that way. I will never speak to any of them as long as I live!

[Karate Girl]

you discuss your sister here, ok, but what would your sister say about you?

 

just wondering, what does sister think about you?

 

I wrote it on here. She keeps calling me a hooker. Oh yeah just because I did preventative measure for anti aging, like I been doing it since I was 15, she throws it in my face. Like why should I let myself go. Google there are 13 year olds wearing creams. She was quick to take facial mud off me though. Lol. She let herself go and look at her today.

[bathtub-row]

Your sister's looks are the least of her worries. She needs to be committed. You're doing the right thing by eliminating her from your life. If I were you, I'd change my phone number and see if you can basically become invisible. I'm really sorry you lost a job over this, and a pet. Make sure that you never let your guard down with her. In other words, if she somehow manages to find you and wants to make up to you, don't trust her.

 

Maybe you can create things that say "genuine" on your online pages like Facebook and linkedin. When you talk to an employer, let them know that you've been a victim if cyber stalking (no need to say who it is) and let them know that unless it says "genuine", it's not for real. That's the only thing I could suggest. Or give them the actual links to those pages. There's also a way to block your sister on Facebook so that she can't see your page. Each time she creates a new page, block that one, too.

 

Even if you don't move, at least change the locks. Personally, I would move. Create a PO box so that other family members can write to you, or let them know your email address, but don't let anyone know where you live unless you're certain they won't tell your sister.

 

I can't imagine how frustrating this must be. Your sister belongs in an institution.

Edited December 9, 2014 by bathtub-row

[Karate Girl]

I just changed my number today. Went to go get a peace bond done yeaterday. The guy at the court house before he even took the papers he gave an annoyed look. He refused to do the peace bond even though I printed out a long statement, and death threats.

 

He didn't even read tge statement. Judgemental moron