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Parents shaming me in public


Daisy-oliviaWentcher

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Daisy-oliviaWentcher

I went to my nieces birthday party. She has just turned four years old. I arrived there and my parents just said " jokingly " ( infront of my sister,brother and family friends ) " oh who are you?" I didn't know what to say. They asked me how my new flat is going. I'm in a new flat at the moment. But need to be out by september. I was living at home for three years and finally got out. They would repeatedly shame me in front of my older brother ans sister. They have their " lives in order" because they're married and have kids. I don't. Necessary see that as optimum success because I'm very much about living in the " present " rather than " worried about the future ".

 

In front of siblings and family friends they " joked" about how I'm not coming back to their place ever, how they have a lock on their door, have i found a new place for september? I've just moved into this place three weeks ago. Never mind that I'm doing really well at college and getting great grades. They are more interested in money and if i have enough. But shaming me? In public? I don't understand. I was visably hurt but they didn't understand, care or stop to reconsider. I said to my mother later that i didn't appreciate it and she said it was a joke but said " well it kind of wasn't " . I didn't feel welcomed there so i left.

 

I cried in the car on the way home. They also want me to get married because as they've said before " they want to see me off of their hands" . It's so archaic! I'm not on thier hands anyway i earn my own wage and I put myself through school.

 

I don't know why my parents don't respect me. And I'd like to plan somewhere else to go this christmas as family get togethers seem awfully dramatic.

telling a family who never addresses to pink elephants in the room are very hard to verbalise " feelings " as they tell me I'm being pathetic.

 

I'm very hurt at the moment as it happened today. Not sure how to move forward as I'm feeling very hurt.

I remember when i told my parents i got raped and they told me there was nothing i could do about it and it was just best to just move on.

Looking for encouragment and support from them was never something i couldn expect as they are emotionally closed as people. But I'm hurt, and not sure what to do or how to solve this.

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I'm so sorry to hear that, OP. It doesn't sound like you spent your life playing video games living off their dime. From what you've said, you're in school, have a job and your own place now and on your way to success. Your parents lack serious tact and etiquette. What do your siblings think? In this scenario, I don't think confronting them at a family gathering would be appropriate. It would be best to tell them in private that you do not appreciate them treating you that way in public and that it needs to stop. If it continues, I would not attend events in their presence and see your other relatives seperately.

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Sorry you're feeling so down. From the small amount you've said here I get the impression you are still pretty young and fiercly independant, I think your family may only be teasing you for having these quailities, maybe they're envious of your youth, freedom and all you have ahead of you.

I think there is a chance you are being a little over sensitive maybe.

I'm sure your family love you very much and respect you, otherwise they wouldn't be inviting you to the party in the first place!

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OP, I know it hurts, but don't take it personally even if it's from family. Some people are just like that. They are harsh with words and don't think too much about it. Surround yourself with more caring people to counteract the effects from your family.

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