down hearted Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 My dad is the most amazing person you can ever meet. He is a great dad a great husband to my mom and now i find out on valentines day that he has cancer. This is why i doubt god and any other religious bullish**t, my dad has done nothing but good his whole life, he has been a great supporter and loyal loving husband to my mother and in return for valentines day we receive the news from the doctor that he has cancer after i prayed and prayed and prayed weeks before for his results to come back negative and this is what happens. My grandmother lost faith in any god or anything after her husband died and now i feel i can understand. Sometimes no matter how much you prayed its worthless and a waste. I am so angry hurt i don't know what i am feeling overall am so freaking scared for my dad and yet he is okay and still humble and smiling this makes it even worse. i don't know how to handle this, the worst part is that i do not want to leave him alone, but once my husband returns from his deployment we go back to our house and i don't want to leave am so hurt so hurt and angry i don't know what to do what to say how to act. anyone who has had cancer in their family please please advice me help me i feel so horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I'm sorry you are going through this. *hug* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I don't really have any advice - I'm just wanted to say I'm really sorry!! Help him stay positive, logical or not, I honestly believe positive attitude is one of the most important things in fighting whatever life throws at you, including this! This isn't really the same, I'm not saying it is, but couple of weeks ago one of my little boys had a seziure, we didn't know what was wrong with him, rushed him into hospital, they has him hooked up to all this machines, doing tests and I'm not a religious man but I remember half of me wanted to drop to my knees and pray and the other half...was mad, because what harm had that little boy ever done to anyone, he's 3 months - so much living to do. I get that feeling! But my boys a fighter and I'm sure your dad is too!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I don't have any specific advice, but try to calm down. Cancer is not necessarily a straight away death sentence. A few years ago, my uncle was diagnosed with myeloma. He took the tumour out and has been fine. My dad had a tumour on his kidney. Took the kidney out and didn't even need any treatment, as it was completely contained. My brother in law is currently battling a kind of lymphoma and after 2 unsuccessful auto transplants, has now received a bone marrow transplant from a donor and things are looking up. A good friend of the family had stomach cancer a couple of years ago. they removed her cancer and she had chemo. It wasn't pretty for a while, but now she looks great and has even put on some weight. So your dad may have very good chances of recovery. Find out what they are and try to remain calm. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I'm sorry that you got bad news today but I agree that it isn't necessarily a death sentence. Find out what stage he's in. Research what type it is. Is it squamous or an encapsulated tumor? Knowing these things will give you a better idea of what to expect. Two of my sisters had cancer, one died and the other has been in remission for years. My brother is also in remission and he was diagnosed in Stage 4. It's sad that you're losing your faith and are angry with God. God made the man who made the test to detect your Dad's cancer and he made the man who made the medicine to help him get well. Anyway, that's personal and between you and God. Just please know that others are thinking of you and wishing good things for you and your Dad right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Sometimes no matter how much you prayed its worthless and a waste. it's never, ever a waste to give of yourself, and your love, that way to someone. While you didn't get the answer you hoped for, you also gave your dad a very special part of you than can never be duplicated. So no, I don't believe your particular prayer was wasted, in that sense ... my heart goes out to with that diagnosis ~ part of me wished the doctor had been more mindful of the date, other part is hoping that the diagnosis ... while something very scary-sounding ... is the worst part of it. That they have caught the disease in time and that he can kick it's ass. as hard as it is, take your cue from your dad ~ his attitude may very well be what helps him get through treatment successfully, because he's looking to heal, not be mired in the hurt that this crap is dealing your family. meanwhile, keep asking, searching for answers from your doctor and hope for the best, kiddo. you are very much in my prayers, and I'm glad you're blessed with such a great dad <3 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I am sorry huni...I have been there with more people then I care to count. I agree with what folks have said. Not always a death sentence so don't go there. You will as many of us have deal with this. Most importantly...your Dad has not changed, he is still Dad. Treat him no differently! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 the diagnosis leads way to your father deciding which avenues he wants to go in for treatment. PLease be that supportive family member, love him and know that the cancer does not discriminate or decide based on someones moral standings. Its genetic, environmental and some times its an anomally. My thoughts are with your family in this time .... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author down hearted Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you all so very much for all the kind words, to hear the word cancer is just terrifying my grandmother from my mom's side died not even a year and a half ago from cancer and these news have brought us all sorts of fears and scare specially to my mother. You are all very right about treatment and I will continue to hope that he survives this. I just keep getting bad news after bad news at least for me since am pretty emotionally broken right now. My husband is coming back from deployment which I am very happy about and is expecting me to be home so am leaving my family in a week and I feel terrible. My parents more than understand but it doesn't help me feel any better I feel like I am abandoning them even if they say they love me and that I have to continue with my life and husband. My husband really wants me home and really doesn't want me to stay it's all so complicated All this has been very tough and I hope everything works out for the better I will keep my hopes and spirits high. Thanks so much everyone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I'm so sorry sweetheart. I lost my dad through cancer, it was very sudden, and I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye and how much I love him. If I could turn back time, I would go back and kiss him and tell him how much I love him. Show your dad all the love you have for him. Spoil him, kiss him all the time. But on the meanwhile, don't give up hope. My aunt, my dad's sister, won her battle with cancer and is cancer free for 10 years and counting. Be strong. Our thoughts are with you and your dad. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 anyone who has had cancer in their family please please advice me help me i feel so horrible. You don't have to answer if you don't wish. But what kind of cancer? What stage? My dad had a very aggressive prostate cancer (stage 3 I think). It had spread to his spinal cord. 30 Years later he's still kickin at 91 yrs old. Hang in there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zebra Queen Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 More hugs and well wishes. Valentine's Day while a good day for me in other respects brought news for my family as well (I found out an uncle had passed on, so I get your feelings of how the news hurt on this date). A good friend went in for surgery last year and found out he had two unrelated forms of cancer, one quite aggressive if not found at an early stage. He was lucky, in that both were not too far along and now he's in remission with an excellent chance for a full recovery. Cancer treatment can be successful in many cases, and wishing this is the case for your father and best wishes for your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Downhearted, I am so sorry to hear about your dad's cancer diagnosis. I've had a close friend and 2 uncles and my ex's mother who were diagnosed with cancer. It is the hardest thing to see your loved ones battle this horrible disease and you feel helpless and powerless. But do have hope. There is so much potential to beat the disease with new medicines and treatment. Love and support from go a long way when helping a patient fight and go through treatment. Out of my 4 loved ones, only 1 did not survive. My Uncle passed away after a 3 year battle. He was already Stage 4, advanced when the cancer was detected. The rest, fought hard and the treatements worked. They are all in remission and very healthy. The only thing you can do is be there as much as possible for your dad and those helping him through the treatment. Love him, spend as much time with him as you can and allow yourself to be supported as well. I'm sending you warm thoughts and wishes your way. (BIG HUG) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I lost my mom 2/13/2014. I fully understand the fear you have, the feelings too. Cancer is not always a death sentence. Try to become as educated as you can, keep positive for him, and know that you are not alone. Don't let this shake your faith. None of us are promised to live forever, and in perfect health. God has His reasons. Just because you don't always get what you want, does not mean He does not love and care for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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