Fiancee is ill - our fiances are upside down

[blinkk]

Hey guys, I'm new here. I'm getting a little desperate, and I know this is a love forum, so this may be the wrong place for this. What the heck- I'm asking anyway. Feel free to delete if this isn't wanted.

 

I'm recently engaged. Love my fiancee. He's awesome. We're holding off on a wedding for a long time (3-5 years maybe?) so this is a long term engagement. We live together, and he's got a teen daughter from another marriage. She lives with her mom FT. Still, she calls me mom and we often play xbox together. We get along great.

 

Onto business. My fiancee got very ill in December. He went to the ER on Dec 26 and underwent emergency surgery that night. He spent New Years in the hospital, and even now in Feb he's going to the hospital 3x a week for outpatient care. He hasn't worked since mid December. The poor guy.

 

Anyways, we're really struggling with our fiances. We were living hand to mouth before this debacle, and he hasn't worked since December. We live in CA, and we're struggling so badly I just looked into temporary welfare (please don't judge) because we're not making it. Most types of welfare in CA say you need to be supporting a child to qualify. His daughter doesn't live with us full time at the moment.

 

I've been looking for work. Got offered a PT job at a gym, but it doesn't offer much of anything. I'm thinking about taking it, regardless.

 

I'm just getting really desperate. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, or if I'm just getting something off my chest. Blahhh, sorry to be so dramatic on my entry at this site. Like I said, I don't know where to turn anymore.

[Radu]

Any family that can help ?

[CarrieT]

Has he filed for disability?

[d0nnivain]

Was he working before the sickness? There is usually a counter to unemployment benefits called state temporary disability. . . money like unemployment paid for a short time while you are too sick to work. look into that. It can usually be found through the agency that pays unemployment.

 

 

Have your FI make an appointment to talk to a social worker at the hospital. That person may have some suggestions.

 

 

Keep looking for work. Try a website called SnagAJob.com Do not take on his debt. You are not married yet so it's not your legal responsibility. It may be easier to discharge his obligations in bankruptcy if it comes to that if you aren't all mixed up in them. If the daughter's mother is still in the picture & they are amicable perhaps he can get her to voluntarily reduce some of the support payments to the daughter until he's back on his feet.

 

 

For now, run a budget & cut out whatever non-essentials you can: cable, dinners out. Shop around for cheaper car insurance & cell phone plans.

[Tayla]

Lack of cash flow combined with health concerns for a loved one is daunting. So sorry to hear of your dilema.

 

the OP's loved one no doubt is getting slammed with child support going into back pay, so that is another hurdle for this lass. I cannot understand why the courts show no mercy on these matters. He can't afford to survive yet he'll be ordered to pay the support.

 

Nonetheless, there are churchs and the Salvation Army that gives out help for rent, utilities, and medical aide. Try calling upon them.

 

And yes...take a suitable job to regroup the finances, best to gain employment and swim back to the surface then sink....

 

May things improve healthwise and financially.

[pink_sugar]

Hey guys, I'm new here. I'm getting a little desperate, and I know this is a love forum, so this may be the wrong place for this. What the heck- I'm asking anyway. Feel free to delete if this isn't wanted.

 

I'm recently engaged. Love my fiancee. He's awesome. We're holding off on a wedding for a long time (3-5 years maybe?) so this is a long term engagement. We live together, and he's got a teen daughter from another marriage. She lives with her mom FT. Still, she calls me mom and we often play xbox together. We get along great.

 

Onto business. My fiancee got very ill in December. He went to the ER on Dec 26 and underwent emergency surgery that night. He spent New Years in the hospital, and even now in Feb he's going to the hospital 3x a week for outpatient care. He hasn't worked since mid December. The poor guy.

 

Anyways, we're really struggling with our fiances. We were living hand to mouth before this debacle, and he hasn't worked since December. We live in CA, and we're struggling so badly I just looked into temporary welfare (please don't judge) because we're not making it. Most types of welfare in CA say you need to be supporting a child to qualify. His daughter doesn't live with us full time at the moment.

 

I've been looking for work. Got offered a PT job at a gym, but it doesn't offer much of anything. I'm thinking about taking it, regardless.

 

I'm just getting really desperate. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, or if I'm just getting something off my chest. Blahhh, sorry to be so dramatic on my entry at this site. Like I said, I don't know where to turn anymore.

 

 

*hugs to you OP*

 

I am in a similar situation. I lost my job in December and my husband and I were forced to leave our apartment and stay with family until we get back on our feet. Our cat also died 3 days after I lost my job. What part of CA do you reside in? I am moving from the San Francisco Bay Area and the cost of living here is outrageous. We're moving up North to where it is much more affordable. I definitely understand what you're going through. I had to get on Medi-Cal (perhaps you and your fiancee can do the same if you haven't already through CoveredCA) also look into food stamps. Things happen, don't feel ashamed if you do need assistance temporarily. PM me if you'd like to have an ear to listen.