soccorsilly Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 My mom is in a nursing home in FL suffering fron Alzheimers. She is still able to somewhat feed herself, but she is incontinent and in a wheelchair 24-7, has a vocabulary of maybe 10 to 12 words. Every month when I go to visit her, I get more and more depressed because this is not the vibrant woman she was--or would want to be. It sounds horrible, but I just wish that her time would come. She has needed caregivers to help with most basic daily functions (declining steadily) since 1998...we did the caregivers for one shift in her home, then it evolved into 24-7, until we finally realized (admitted) that a specialized facility was the answer and we moved her in early 2000. I guess what I am asking is are there any other folks out there who are living or have lived in a similar situation? How much longer must we all endure this horrible disease? The doctors have all been evasive as to a prognosis, although her new doctor told me that she is definately in the later stages, but we HATE to see this woman in this shape. Anyone out there with any insight? Sometimes I think Dr. Kervorkian has the right idea! Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 I can't even imagine how painful it must be to see a loved one with Alzheimer's...and see the 'stranger' they've become. It's such a horrible disease, but oh so prevalent. I guess the only blessing for people in the late stages of the disease is they don't realize how the disease has taken hold of them.....but it sure can be heartbreaking for the family. Even though your Mom is not living near you, you might want to look into finding an Alzheimer's Support group near you.....they're all over the place.........a place for family members of Alzheimer's patients to support one another, etc. I think often times, it's hard for people to understand how hard it is for the family, unless they've been in those shoes. See if your local hospital where you are, or extended (long term) care homes have an Alzheimer's support group.....or search online for one. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 lo siento, SS … your family is in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with this Alzheimer's situation. I guess what I am asking is are there any other folks out there who are living or have lived in a similar situation? How much longer must we all endure this horrible disease? The doctors have all been evasive as to a prognosis, although her new doctor told me that she is definately in the later stages, but we HATE to see this woman in this shape. Anyone out there with any insight? befuddled has a good suggestion, to find a support group to help you through this. While it doesn't lessen the hurt of the impact Alzheimers has on your mama, it does give you some good tools to better deal with the situation. My grandmother was an Alzheimer's patient, though it didn't do much more than give her Swiss cheese memory and made her prone to living in the past ... I know it was hard on her kids to see her that way, but it gave me a chance to finally, fully love a frail little old lady who had been pretty mean to us kids in the past. As bad as it was to have Grandma go through that, the upside was that I learned how lovable she was ... I know there are a lot of challenges facing you, especially when you can remember a way different mom, but let your first and foremost response to the situation be love, because I think love is something everyone -- even people with failed memory and cognition -- recognizes. It won't lessen her situation, but it will give you something positive to focus on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soccorsilly Posted April 11, 2004 Author Share Posted April 11, 2004 Thanks for the tips. I have looked for a support group and there are none convenient to me. I am a single dad with three kids and self employed so my time is somewhat limited. But i did request some of their info and will see if there is a board out there specific to Alzheimers (there has to be right?) But thanks. I only found LS a few weeks ago, and I really like this--seems like a great group of folks from all walks of life young to old. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I hope you are able to find a good support group -- even if it meets in cyberspace! yeah, LoveShack is the best. I lost my mom back in December, and the community here helped keep me sane from the time we'd put her in the nursing home a year ago, through having just lost her, and even now ... just having a place to indulge in silliness and serious stuff other helped temper everything stressful I've been through the Shackers (heh heh "Shekkers") are very much a blessing just waiting to be experienced ... now, have you read any of Dave1234's posts? You'll giggle yourself silly and alleviate stress at the same time Link to post Share on other sites
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