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my mum and i have a massive fight on average once a week


jaxom_liam

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Im 15 and my parents always seem to find something to critiscize me about, whether its about my treatment of peers at school for example (why do u bag (insert name here) hes such a responsible younr boy*hint and u arent*)

occasionally my mother will find something i have done that i havent really noticed anyway, and just blow up about it creating a huge argument which generally goes through the motions of either u leave or i leave from her, until i just give in and nod my head and say im 100% wrong and i will never be bad again.

 

It seemed to start from halfway through last year when she caught be smoking by that same person that i critiscize telling on me. And she wonders why i complain... yeah i have to admit it was the wrong thing to do and i accepted that even though i felt she just exploded about the subject, it steadily got worse and recent such as last week, she will say for example "why havent u vacuumed i have told u 3 times today" then she goes onto listing all the bad stuff I have done over the last god know how long, and generally painting herself as such a victim and accusing me of having a victim mentality

 

I mean i'm the first to admit that im not the best kid out there and I dont always "respect my elder" i mean im on my fifth detention in 7 weeks, mainly for arguing with a teacher. But i feel that she just doesnt understand me and expects so much shes practically told me point blank go out and get a part time job and fed me the whole line of when she was my age... and so forth.

 

currently we're at peace but im just waiting for it to start up again and eventually one of these days i can see myself getting kicked out and i have to admit i would rather kill myself then go begging around at relatives or friends places. I have started to feel really depressed with the whole situation, and cant seem to take my mind off it. I have a lot of problems with arguments going on in my friendship groups which arent my parents fault but they dont seem to understand that if i snap at them then i always apologize afterwards, they also have a habit of critiscizing my friends "for example my dad goes i dont give a **** about what travis wants, and i tell him wtf was that for and he starts up again and so i told him to **** off and he says if i ever swear at him again he will hit me or something which he said in a cruder way.

 

is there any advice u could give me on how to deal with these people and i dont like to sound like a whienger, which inevitably i have but i just cant take it any more i feel that if another big argument about some minor incident happens then i would do anything... absolutely anything to get out of that situation.

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Your parents are worried about you and they think the way to help is to point out the error of your ways. You, of course, disagree with their point of view. Still, if you are hanging with people that get you smoking and doing other stuff that's not good for you, can you blame them? They want you to grow up happy and healthy and to be successful - 7 detentions is not the road to that.

 

If you start conducting yourself in a way that ends the detentions, keeps you out of trouble, and shows them that you are capable of making mature, wise decisions, they'll lighten up. I'm sure you can do that - these friends of yours won't be your friends forever; don't let them keep you from doing well in school or want misbehave with them. When they're long gone and you're prospering, you'll be happy that you stood your ground. I'm not saying they're bad, but look at it from your folks' point of view - their kid, who never was a problem before is now becoming one and they want to stop it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

hey gurl,

well hunnie first, i think you should see a counsellor.I mean i used to fight alot with my mother (mainly since my mother + father divorced).Maybe if you see a counsellor you can say exactly what you're feeling and they wont critisise you.Although you have to be willing to listen to their advice even if you dont want to take it. Trust me, talking to one really helps. (It stopped me from suicide and major depression).

You should also sit down and talk with your mother and try to sort out your problems "nicely", i know its very hard but in the end it really makes a difference.

And the detentions have to stop. They will definatly not help the situation. However, i believe if you're in class you can disagree with the teacher but there is a very fine line in their books between a simple discussion/argument and being rude or disrespectful.In the end, why dont you just agree to disagree or keep your opinions to yourself. (I know how hard it is to not say what you think, because im a very blunt person and everyone knows i say it how it is.I realise though that sometimes my opinion isnt needed and have thankfully learnt to control my tongue most of the time ...lol)

 

Goodluck and try not to get into too much trouble.

Blessed Be

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