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My Dad annoys me...


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I'm 25, I'm living with my parents for at least a few more months, I'm hopefully going back to university in october and I can't wait to get out. If not, I'm moving out anyway.

 

He doesn't do anything specifically 'big' that annoys me but he analyses and judges me on every little thing I do. Even if it's as trivial as buying a new shirt or going out to meet a friend I haven't seen in a while. He reads stuff into everything.

 

He *always* wants to know exactly where I am and what I'm doing and who I'm with. He doesn't stop me from going anywhere or doing anything, he just wants to know but will start texting/calling me if I'm out 30 mins later than I said I'd be. I'm twenty five. I'm not a child.

 

It's got to the point where I don't like doing anything even slightly 'out of character' because I can't be bothered to face his incessant questioning about it. For example, I don't often leave the house unless I'm meeting a friend or going to work. The other day, I decided it was a nice day and to go for a walk. All I got was endless questioning, inferences that something was 'wrong' both when I left and when I got back because I 'never just go for a walk'. Seriously? It's just annoying and makes me feel trapped and without any kind of freedom or privacy.

 

Then he'll come and tell me stuff I really have no interest in, without any prompting from me. E.g. yesterday I was talking to a friend online and he came into my room and started telling me how he's not going to have to do deliveries at work for the next few days. Stuff I *really* don't care about. he'll make a point of telling me stupid stuff about what he's doing and why he's doing it. Most of the time, I just don't care and would rather be left alone.

 

Now I don't like telling him ANYTHING at all because I can't be bothered to face the inquisition. Not that it helps much.

 

There's no real question here, I guess, I just needed to vent. I suppose I'll just have to stick it out for 3 months.

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It's your dad and he obviously loves you. My parents also call me or my brothers if we're out late. But, we've talked to our parents and told them, that we're 22, 24, etc. and that we shouldn't be treated like kids. They understand, but its natural for a parent to worry about their kids. It's obvious, your dad cares about you and wants to maybe get closer to you, by talking to you. You may find it annoying, but make some time for him too. Soon, you'll be going to uni like you said and you won't get to talk to him much anyways.

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The most difficult thing for me as the father of adult children is to except that my children have lives of their own.

 

The most wonderful thing for me as the father of adult children is to except that my children have lives of their own.

 

I left home at the age of 17, no longer able to live in the same house with a man as ignorant as my father. I returned when i was 23 & was amazed at how much he had learned in 5 short years. Mark Twain.

 

This may be the last time you and your father will have the time to really get to know one another so well. "cats in the cradle";

;)
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  • 2 weeks later...

You are lucky to have a dad asking questions.

Imagine the opposite case where he asks you nothing and does not care what you do or where you go. That is even worse. So, you are really lucky he is talking with you rather than ignoring you

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What are you doing living at home at 25??? You want to be treated like an adult but you are unable to look after yourself?

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