Dad's making me depressed

[AmberJ]

I feel like I'm being picked on by my dad, and that it's making me depressed. I don't know what to do to make it stop, and I take his comments to heart and try to please him even though I tell myself I don't care what he thinks of me.

 

When I was younger (about 4th grade) I was overweight and overheard my dad talking about how I was "a big blob." As a 10-year-old this hurt me a lot and that summer I lost a lot of weight to put me in the normal range.

 

Over the past summer I worked a lot (about 6 days a week) and on one of my days off I spent the day lounging around, and as soon as he comes home he starts yelling about how lazy I am and what a social outcast I am, and how I should be doing more. That week, I picked up a second job and worked about 40-50 hours a week for the remainder of the summer.

 

He tells me my boyfriend and I are eating too many of their groceries, so we start grocery shopping for ourselves and write our names on the bags to keep it separate. He goes into the bags and eats some of our stuff, and I get irritated. He starts writing our last name on everything in the pantry.

 

That wasn't the first time he got mad that he couldn't take something of mine. A few months back he took my iPod headphones and liked how they felt a lot. When I saw him with them i told them I wanted them back because I had been looking for them and he got angry.

 

Lately I've been completely on edge and am terrified of what he's going to say to me next. I've cut myself to try to deal with these feelings and am generally just showing many signs of depression, and I don't think anything I do is right. I told my mom it wasn't fair for him to pick on me and she said something along the lines of "that's just how he is."

 

I want to move out but my financial situation doesn't allow it yet. What can I do to make my life a little less stressful about this?

[elSimon]

Actual Nice Post. I adulation it. Have a Abundant day.

[AmberJ]

I'll be 21 this month.

[whichwayisup]

Take your power back. Your dad doesn't understand that words hurt and he is stuck in his old ways and won't change. Accept that, but with accepting it, you need to not care what he says not let it get to you so badly, to the point of cutting. Depression and hurting yourself because your dad is too outspoken and is acting like a jerk (also not having your mom jump in and tell him off) isn't helping.

 

I am sorry that you have to deal with this, it's not easy when a parent sh.*ts on you! Look at it this way, HE has issues, and his issues are being put on you.

 

Somehow you need to build your confidence level up again! Rely on good friends and other family members that treat you well.

 

Also some counselling will help, CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) to deal with your depression and also it'll help give you coping techniques, how to handle this stuff without it affecting you in such a negative way.

 

Hope this helps.