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I can't stand my stepdad's dad anymore!


gabby898

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This started ages ago when my step dad's dad (step grandfather) started sending me some inappropriate texts. Started off with stuff like saying I look beautiful and then some texts which seemed like jokes about sex.

(bear in mind when he started sending me those texts, I had just turned 17 and he is 65 or something).

I used to ignore the inappropriate texts but that wouldn't stop him.

One day he mentioned these texts as being "mind games".

 

Then again, in one text he wrote "No mind games, I just want you". I really don't know what kind of hilarious joke that was for him.

 

Anyway, during this summer, he started texting me and talking about my bf. (he doesn't know my bf AT ALL, the only thing that he knows about him is that he is muslim.) He started calling him a bastard and calling me stupid because "I dropped my pants when he wanted me to". (which is an incorrect statement that he came up with...). And accusing all muslims of being bastards and that they all treat women horribly.

 

I told my mum at that point (by then I hadn't told her anything) and my step dad talked with his parents and his dad came and apologised personally to me.

His apology sounded sincere.

 

He started texting me again now, this time his texts are not inappropriate but in one he called me a "dickhead" and usually his texts are again kind of jokes like "so what are you getting me for xmas?" and "dont forget to carry 4 umbrellas because 2 will blow away".

 

I don't know if he's trying to be the nice guy again and make up for all those texts but right now, I still hate him and I don't want him texting me at all!

I've been ignoring those last texts too...should I ignore the texts or be nice and reply?

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desertIslandCactus

I'm so greatful you lived through it all to a young adult.. Even though you seem to get along with your stepfather .. Still they are all the ones who put you in this position.

 

Now that you're an adult, don't feel that your mother's marriage forces you to endure or tolerate anything..

 

Put a block on the old man .. (he's probably on the verge of prostrate surgery anyway) ..

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Sounds as though this story could have been far far far worse than what it is if the dirty old man had had greater proximity to you back in the day.

 

Personally, I would just text him a message telling him to **** off. If you don't want to be as direct, just block his number.

 

End of story.

 

There is no point contemplating anything else.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

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H'm.. still, got to give him some credit for keeping up with the ages and learning to text at his age, lol. 65, texting pervy messages AND still getting a rise out of it.

 

Bless.

 

I wonder what phone he has?

 

Take care,

Eve xx

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This is clearly sexual harrassment. I hope you saved your messages so you have evidence when you tell your mom. If your parents aren't going to do anything, then I suggest you take those texts to the police and file a complaint against your grandfather.

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H'm.. still, got to give him some credit for keeping up with the ages and learning to text at his age, lol. 65, texting pervy messages AND still getting a rise out of it.

 

Bless.

 

I wonder what phone he has?

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

LOL! I don't know what phone he has...

 

well, I have been ignoring him so I'm hoping he'll stop texting me altogether.

The thing is that we always spend christmas in my stepdad's parent's house so I don't know what to do this year.

 

I do realise that I'm now an adult but I don't have any other plans for xmas apart from spending it with family and I don't want to be around him...

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This is clearly sexual harrassment. I hope you saved your messages so you have evidence when you tell your mom. If your parents aren't going to do anything, then I suggest you take those texts to the police and file a complaint against your grandfather.

 

Well, I did show my mum the texts about my bf.

But I had deleted all the sexual texts and didn't tell her either...

He stopped anyway sending those sexual texts and then he apologised so I'm trying to forget about that.

I don't want him to start again though so that's why I don't know whether I should ignore him or not...?

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LOL! I don't know what phone he has...

 

well, I have been ignoring him so I'm hoping he'll stop texting me altogether.

The thing is that we always spend christmas in my stepdad's parent's house so I don't know what to do this year.

 

I do realise that I'm now an adult but I don't have any other plans for xmas apart from spending it with family and I don't want to be around him...

 

Glad you can see the funny side. Never give him a moments power - promise?

 

I just kept imagining some crusty old man texting with a wicked I-phone or something. Sorry, is that popular phone always being advertised called an I-phone? I just buy these things for the kids and don't take much notice.

 

Keep the messages and show them to a relative. This man is probably regretting not being able to do worse to you. Serious.

 

Under no circumstances meet him or talk to him at any gathering.

 

Tell on him. You owe him nothing.

 

The dirty bastard. :sick:

 

Take care,

Eve xx

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Glad you can see the funny side. Never give him a moments power - promise?

 

I just kept imagining some crusty old man texting with a wicked I-phone or something. Sorry, is that popular phone always being advertised called an I-phone? I just buy these things for the kids and don't take much notice.

 

Keep the messages and show them to a relative. This man is probably regretting not being able to do worse to you. Serious.

 

Under no circumstances meet him or talk to him at any gathering.

 

Tell on him. You owe him nothing.

 

The dirty bastard. :sick:

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

well, to be honest, I never thought that he would try anything...

He's always seemed like a nice person until he started with the texts.

 

lol no he doesn't have an iphone! I know it's definitely a camera phone though :p

 

I'll try to make other plans for xmas coz I really don't want to be around him...

thanks :)

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Make other plans. But be sure to be honest and tell people why.

 

"Because I have absolutely no intention or inclination to spend the day with an elderly creep who is still persistently sending me weird texts."

 

Honesty pays huge dividends in the long run.

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well, to be honest, I never thought that he would try anything...

He's always seemed like a nice person until he started with the texts.

 

lol no he doesn't have an iphone! I know it's definitely a camera phone though :p

 

I'll try to make other plans for xmas coz I really don't want to be around him...

thanks :)

 

It's funny how predators always manage to keep up a profile of being ok people. This does my head in as it would be better if they were physically marked somehow for all to see who they are.. but they are not.

 

H'm, it's mainly relatives and those known to a family who do this ****.

 

If you make other plans for xmas, yes, as the other poster said, be honest about it. Just as you said here in complete innocence... mention the texts and show others. I am sure he will send a few more before xmas as he gets excited about seeing you again.

 

I am glad that you are in the position you are in and this man has not had chance to hurt you but what he is doing is identifiable as psychologically harmful.

 

.. Pshhh.. about he's texting you with his camera phone as his age.. Tsk..

 

Treat this as a life lesson and observe carefully. Do not take this as being a politeness thing. Serious.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

Edited by Eve
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H'm, it's mainly relatives and those known to a family who do this ****.

 

If you make other plans for xmas, yes, as the other poster said, be honest about it. Just as you said here in complete innocence... mention the texts and show others. I am sure he will send a few more before xmas as he gets excited about seeing you again.

 

I am glad that you are in the position you are in and this man has not had chance to hurt you but what he is doing is identifiable as psychologically harmful.

 

.. Pshhh.. about he's texting you with his camera phone as his age.. Tsk..

 

Treat this as a life lesson and observe carefully. Do not take this as being a politeness thing. Serious.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

My stepdad has always hated him and used to kinda ignore him and wouldn't really speak to him unless he had to and I never knew why...

I later found out that it was because he had given consent to his wife receiving ECT, but I don't know if there were other stuff as well...

 

I would like to be honest about it, but I'm supposed to have forgiven him at this point and trying to forget everything, so that we can be a family with no hatred if you know what I mean...

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'I would like to be honest about it, but I'm supposed to have forgiven him at this point and trying to forget everything, so that we can be a family with no hatred if you know what I mean... '

So everyone knows already, or do you mean that you want to forgive him and have made steps to do this?

 

H'm, if you are looking at this from a religious perspective, the emphasis of you forgiving him is so in one way or another he will be lead to forgive himself. You cannot totally forgive him if he is behaving in a way which does not merit forgiveness, no?

 

It is not my place to tell you what to do but it would be irrational to outwardly give any forgiveness to this man if he is texting you pervy messages ever ever ever ever ever in his life... and your family do not know about this.

 

.. But I can't tell you what to do.

 

All and all, you will most probably be able to take him down if he does try anything anyway, lol. A simple push could hopefully break his hip.

 

Not sure what to say about the ECT thing..

 

Take care,

Eve xx

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'I would like to be honest about it, but I'm supposed to have forgiven him at this point and trying to forget everything, so that we can be a family with no hatred if you know what I mean... '

So everyone knows already, or do you mean that you want to forgive him and have made steps to do this?

 

H'm, if you are looking at this from a religious perspective, the emphasis of you forgiving him is so in one way or another he will be lead to forgive himself. You cannot totally forgive him if he is behaving in a way which does not merit forgiveness, no?

 

It is not my place to tell you what to do but it would be irrational to outwardly give any forgiveness to this man if he is texting you pervy messages ever ever ever ever ever in his life... and your family do not know about this.

 

.. But I can't tell you what to do.

 

All and all, you will most probably be able to take him down if he does try anything anyway, lol. A simple push could hopefully break his hip.

 

Not sure what to say about the ECT thing..

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

yeah, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the ECT thing, you can't really blame him for that I guess...

 

I want to "forgive" him just for the sake of the family, so I can be around him at xmas and stuff like that.

so by "forgive" him, I don't mean actual forgiveness, but just try to forget it or pretend it didn't happen for the sake of the family.

 

But I think he believes that I have totally forgiven and forgotten everything in a second.

He just send me a text saying "good morning, are we talking or not?"

I really don't know if I should answer, if I don't it means we're not talking! lol

I hate him...

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yeah, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the ECT thing, you can't really blame him for that I guess...

 

I want to "forgive" him just for the sake of the family, so I can be around him at xmas and stuff like that.

so by "forgive" him, I don't mean actual forgiveness, but just try to forget it or pretend it didn't happen for the sake of the family.

 

But I think he believes that I have totally forgiven and forgotten everything in a second.

He just send me a text saying "good morning, are we talking or not?"

I really don't know if I should answer, if I don't it means we're not talking! lol

I hate him...

 

Lol, I know very little about ECT too. Apparently it works for serious depression but I don't know. Maybe his lack of expression or empathy at the time stuck with your Dad. He seems to be showing a great lack of sense right now anyway.

 

All in all I would re-term the idea of 'forgiveness' in this situation to maybe one of 'tolerance' but think this is one of those times when the emphasis should be on 'shutting him down' more than any act of tolerance.

 

I just hope that with or without any further texts your family members will believe you when you them whats been going off. You never know, he could be doing this to others too or have been caught out in the past. It's always great to have a family member who is in the Police force and can do some covert checks in these scenarios.

 

Yeah, I hate him too and I don't even know him!

 

Make a decision and put an end to this. Don't carry this for one more day.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

Edited by Eve
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This is so inappropriate on so many levels. You are ignoring the texts and yet he keeps sending them. Tell you mother and be honest about not wanting to be around him.

 

Maybe during the holidays, your family will accomodate you rather than him. I think you should be with your family and step grandfather won't be invited. He is a perpetrator and I think you need your family to have full knowledge to lend their support.

 

If possible, block him from your phone. If not, change your phone number. I know changing numbers is a hassle, but I've had to do it myself. It's worth it.

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I'm trying to put an end to this.

I texted him saying that I don't want him texting me.

 

I would not be surprised at all if he has done this to others too.

 

If he continues with the texts, I'll block his number...

 

Thanks all :)

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