really worried about my older brother

[shadowplay]

I talked with my mother today, and apparently my older brother (28) may be presenting some symptoms of a certain type of schizophrenia. Not the kind that has psychosis as a feature, but another subtype that leads to progressive cognitive deficiencies. His memory has gotten worse, and last year he took an aptitude test in which he did significantly worse on the verbal section than he had when he was 21.

 

He's in medical school, but having difficulty with the tests because, even though he's extremely bright, his memory is so poor. He studies all the time and can't retain anything. It's hard to say whether his memory has deteriorated or medical school just presents more demands on his memory. He's plagued by constant anxiety and depression. The only small improvement is he's now on an antidepressant that has improved his mood somewhat.

 

He's become more isolated and asocial. My parents are all he has. He has literally no friends or acquaintances. He's never had a girlfriend (has asked out a bunch of girls but routinely gets rejected). And it's so hard to relate to him because he doesn't seem present. He gets obsessively focused on random things and that's all he wants to talk about.

 

A few weeks ago he had a nose job to improve his confidence, and I'm hoping it does. His nose was pretty bad to begin with, so maybe it will improve his success with girls. We'll see.

 

 

My mother used to think he had Aspergers, but she says that this schizophrenia thing seems to fit him better.

 

She's not sure, and she hasn't told anyone else about it because she doesn't want to worry them. I don't know what to do or how to help him. I'll do anything to help him. I'm just scared about how his life will be when my parents are gone. Any advice?

 

I'm so, so worried about him. We barely have a relationship anymore because I've avoided him due to his abrasive demeanor, but I feel like I need to do something.

 

My only hopeful thought is that maybe he doesn't have schizophrenia, because there's no psychosis in my family and as far as I know it's usually genetic.

Edited May 30, 2010 by shadowplay

[threebyfate]

shadow, your mother is to close too the issue hence shouldn't try to diagnose your brother (same reason I won't rely on my husband for legal advice). Has he had any diagnosis from arms-length professionals?

[shadowplay]

shadow, your mother is to close too the issue hence shouldn't try to diagnose your brother (same reason I won't rely on my husband for legal advice). Has he had any diagnosis from arms-length professionals?

 

Yes and no. He's been evaluated for things like ADHD, anxiety, depression. She told me that he's never had the kind of evaluation that would detect the symptoms of schizophrenia. Apparently there are certain tests that pick up on those features.

 

She said it's hard because he's an adult and she can't force him to see somebody. She's also scared about devastating him if she tells him what she thinks he has. It's not that she'd tell him directly since she doesn't know for sure, but she's worried if she suggests he sees somebody about it he'll get suspicious.

 

She told me there are certain drugs that can to some degree slow down/stop the progressive deterioration of what she thinks he has. When I saw her today, I suggested she meet with a psychiatrist alone and tell them about her observations and concerns, then have the psychiatrist meet with my brother. She promised me she'd do this ASAP, so I hope this leads to something.

 

I agree that my mother's too close to tell, but she also has the advantage of seeing all of his behavior while a therapist only gets a small portion. I really hope he gets an evaluation that leads to some answers.

[threebyfate]

Keep in mind that anxiety and stress does affect anyone's memory. Med school isn't a walk in the park.

 

I've had times where job stress has affected my memory too and this is without anxiety or depression.

 

I think your mother should back off from analysing her own children. Hope I don't offend but it makes me wonder if her maternal concern over emotional issues within her children due to her profession, has manifested in anxiety inflicted onto her children.

[shadowplay]

Keep in mind that anxiety and stress does affect anyone's memory. Med school isn't a walk in the park.

 

I've had times where job stress has affected my memory too and this is without anxiety or depression.

 

I think your mother should back off from analysing her own children. Hope I don't offend but it makes me wonder if her maternal concern over emotional issues within her children due to her profession, has manifested in anxiety inflicted onto her children.

 

None taken. My mother is definitely a worrier. My father's the opposite, and sort of balances her out in that respect. A bit of hypochondria seems to run in her family. Her father had a few cancer scares and was always very focused on signs of illness, a preoccupation he seemed to have passed down to her. It does sometimes stress me out. I just hope she's being paranoid and there's nothing severely wrong with my brother.

 

I really just want to see him happy, but don't know what (if anything) I can do.

[threebyfate]

None taken. My mother is definitely a worrier. My father's the opposite, and sort of balances her out in that respect. A bit of hypochondria seems to run in her family. Her father had a few cancer scares and was always very focused on signs of illness, a preoccupation he seemed to have passed down to her. It does sometimes stress me out. I just hope she's being paranoid and there's nothing severely wrong with my brother.

 

I really just want to see him happy, but don't know what (if anything) I can do.

Glad I didn't offend. I don't want to hurt or harm.

 

I don't think you can do much beyond being there when he needs an ear or shoulder. But your relationship is tentative at best since he seems to derive some form of fun from antagonizing you. Maybe ask him if he's okay in a concerned way one day?

[sb129]

Tough one. I can totally understand where you are coming from SP.

 

My brother is often on a self destruct path with regards to his health, and it worries my mother sick. The whole situation is fraught with anxiety and since my dad died my mother leans on me more for support and advice. Which can be exhausting, as I don't see the situation as his sister the way she does as a parent.

 

Sometimes I just can't be the person to give that advice- I have my own family and life. My brother is an adult, and despite his medical situation, is perfectly capable of making his own decisions about his life. We are very different people, and its hard to be sympathetic sometimes when I don't always understand things from his point of view.

 

Your brother is also an adult SP- TBF is right, you can't DO anything much except be a shoulder or an ear from time to time. Let him know you are there if he needs you for anything.

[Star Gazer]

Keep in mind that anxiety and stress does affect anyone's memory. Med school isn't a walk in the park.

 

I've had times where job stress has affected my memory too and this is without anxiety or depression.

 

I think your mother should back off from analysing her own children. Hope I don't offend but it makes me wonder if her maternal concern over emotional issues within her children due to her profession, has manifested in anxiety inflicted onto her children.

 

I was going to say all of this.