samsungxoxo Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) It's about his view on my bf he still having a bit of trouble with. He hardly talks about it but I was surprise he still sees him as the man that took away my innocence and make me the way I am now (experienced with a diff view towards life and relationships that is)..... Is he going to get over it already. He has already expressed that like 3 times this year...... Once it was when he was looking at the family albums and he went on explaining to my mother about how innocent and naivee I was then, so pure, until he (bf) came along taking it away from me...... So why is he to blame when it's really takes two person to tango. Besides it's not like I was going to be a so called ''Innocent Doll'' forever.... So that image is gone, why can't see just get over it?? Edited October 3, 2009 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 My dad didn't live long enough to see me transition to 'young lady' and 'young woman' (and old broad .) But. I suspect he would have reacted the same way as your dad. Or maybe I just like to believe that he would have reacted that way. It is tough on you. I get that. But maybe it is tough on him, too, to have to face the fact that he can no longer just protect you from everything that he wants to protect you from? He's kind of lost the "power" to do that. (Not that parents ever really have that power, but that's what they seem to believe about their "kids".) So. Maybe your dad is kind of feeling a little helpless and useless in your life? I mean. I can see how he could be feeling that way -- I would guess that, in his mind and heart, you ARE still his "precious and innocent little angel"...just as you have been from the moment of your birth. How to help your case? Tough to say, really. Invite him to go mini-putting with you and your b/f; or get them tickets to some local sporting event; or something? And continue to go to your Dad for his input and wise counsel -- not that you need to follow everything he tells you, but more to let him know that you do still need him in your life, and love him, and admire-respect his life experiences. Maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 I think your dad has a weird sexual idealization about your virginity and just how it should have been "taken?" (funny - I thought it is a woman's TO GIVE; taken implies rape) from you...... creepy! Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 I don't think your innocence is the main issue here. Parents can have a hard time 'letting go' (letting the birds fly out of the nest), but the thing is, it sounds like your dad doesn't know your bf well enough, to see past the bad perception he's got on your bf. Maybe your bf and your dad needs to 'bond' a bit more. Either that, or your dad need to hear the situation about your bf from someone that he trusts, and slowly he might come around. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Isn't this a LD/online BF? How often has your dad met him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Isn't this a LD/online BF? How often has your dad met him?He never met him in person because he refuse to at the time. He has yet to meet him face to face when my boyfriend comes visit me at my country... Link to post Share on other sites
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