zoe1983 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 i just need to vent/rant real quick! So my family is visiting and we are all going for a walk and I am pushing my grandmother in her wheelchair (like a four mile walk). We start talking and she mentions how she thinks I am just going to keep gaining weight until I weight like 400 pounds like this woman she saw on T.V. She is always commenting on my weight...nothing new...so I thought I would just try to make a little joke and ignore it. So i say " Its ok....even if I was 400 pounds I know you would still love me" and she says.....no I hate fat people. Seriously my family can't seem to figure out why my self esteem is shot to hell when my grandmother is ALWAYS making comments like this!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Some people just have no idea what their stupid comments do to others. It just happens that this person is your family. My grandma always made it known that she didn't like my "long stringy red hair that is unkempt & out of control." Her belief was that a womans hair should be cut short & put in curlers. My hair is & has been long & straight & down to my butt. It was always some negative crap coming out of her mouth. But I honored her as she was my bloodline and I bit my tongue. It's hard but really the best choice is to just bite your tongue & let her make a jackass of herself. Because I have no regrets for keeping my mouth shut. However, I'm sure I'd have regrets if I had told her off. Link to post Share on other sites
Joie de Vivre Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 i just need to vent/rant real quick! So my family is visiting and we are all going for a walk and I am pushing my grandmother in her wheelchair (like a four mile walk). We start talking and she mentions how she thinks I am just going to keep gaining weight until I weight like 400 pounds like this woman she saw on T.V. She is always commenting on my weight...nothing new...so I thought I would just try to make a little joke and ignore it. So i say " Its ok....even if I was 400 pounds I know you would still love me" and she says.....no I hate fat people. Seriously my family can't seem to figure out why my self esteem is shot to hell when my grandmother is ALWAYS making comments like this!! My parents, relatives and anyone related to me use to comment on how terrible the color of my hair was when I was a teenager (I use to dye it all sorts of colors ) I don't let their criticisms phase me unless they sat down and gave me a serious talk about it. In terms of weight, my grandma also criticized my weight back in high school. She use to think all people who were fat were unmotivated and have no discipline. I would take it as a grain of salt (although I am skinny now). My suggestion is, UNLESS a doctor recommends you to lose weight, then ignore your grandma's criticism. Try to focus on talking with her about other things. Try to get her to talk about herself or talk to her about your achievements. That way she can beam with pride of instead of focusing on your weight all the time. hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Author zoe1983 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 well see thats the problem...I AM overweight. I am about 75 pounds more than I should be. Although my grandmother has been giving me crap about my weight since I was about eight years old and only about twenty pounds overweight. It has always bothered me but now its bothering me more than usual because I am getting married in May and my grandmother always told me that the reason she gave me grief about my weight was because I would never find a man that loved me while I was fat. Don't get me wrong...my fiance loves me no matter how much I weigh and and swears he never even notices when I lose or gain weight. He is so sweet! Still my grandmother's voice is always in the back of my head! Plus it doesn't help that my fiancé's grandparents also talk about how I am such a sweet girl but how I would be perfect if I could just lose the weight. Its just so frustrating...it's like no matter how much I try and no matter how much people like me...they still can't help but say...if she was only skinny.... Link to post Share on other sites
Joie de Vivre Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 well see thats the problem...I AM overweight. I am about 75 pounds more than I should be. Although my grandmother has been giving me crap about my weight since I was about eight years old and only about twenty pounds overweight. It has always bothered me but now its bothering me more than usual because I am getting married in May and my grandmother always told me that the reason she gave me grief about my weight was because I would never find a man that loved me while I was fat. Don't get me wrong...my fiance loves me no matter how much I weigh and and swears he never even notices when I lose or gain weight. He is so sweet! Still my grandmother's voice is always in the back of my head! Plus it doesn't help that my fiancé's grandparents also talk about how I am such a sweet girl but how I would be perfect if I could just lose the weight. Its just so frustrating...it's like no matter how much I try and no matter how much people like me...they still can't help but say...if she was only skinny.... Eep! that is really horrible to be taking a lot of criticism -- especially when your special day is approaching !! The great thing is, at least your fiance loves you no matter what size you are, so you don't have to put much heart into what his grandparents say. after all, how well do his grandparents know you? all they see is the surface, that's why they criticize you on a superficial level. Once they get to know you and all the wonderful facets of your personality, they will drop the weight comments or even forget about it. I have a close friend who is overweight (she has thyroid problem, thus it's really hard for her to lose weight compare to a normal person), she has a gorgeous face, really pretty clothes that suit her body shape (such as a-line dresses from Nordstroms etc). Her confidence, humor and kindness outshine her "weight issues". No one even notices or comments about her weight because of her vibrant and jolly attitude. my only suggestion is (as an ex-overweight girl) focus on enjoying your wedding planning process and also looking forward to your wedding day. Don't let harsh ridicule ruin your mood. This is a once in a life time experience, you have your WHOLE LIFE to lose weight if you wanted to Push their comments aside and enjoy your life! they obviously have no idea it's effecting you or else they will keep shut. however, if you are worried about your weight effecting your health, then I would suggest going to a doctor for a checkup after getting married. Only a doctor can make the right recommendations for you. I hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
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