delicaterose Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hello folks I'll try to make this as short as possible, precisely to the point. I'm a 20 year old girl who's been living with mental and physical abuse for almost my whole life, from my stepmother. She took my mothers place wen i was born, bcz my real mother left us for a man (me and my brother). As a person, compared to my elder brother, i am a very weak and easily hurt person. my stepmother (who i call my mom, because she filled the role) takes advantage of that, and if anyone in the house goes against their will she'd make their lives a living hell, for ex. my brother just raised his voice over her, and she screamed to my dad that she wanted him out of the house. Im in a relationship with a great guy for two years, and she felt jealous because he was handsome and gave me everything i wanted and made me happy, so on new years she called his mom (she never spoke to his mom before) and told her your son is a rapist and he attacked my daughter, his mom broke into tears and her new year was ruined. despite that, he is still with me and always supportive of me and he keeps tellin me to hang on and to ignore her but i cant. At the least thing, she explodes in my face, and sometimes even hits me, she threw a whole tv on my small brother once and he had to go to the hospital . she always curses and prays that i die horribly and have no luck in my future, bcz i 'abuse' her (how i dont know) n she always reminds me that she made me, she bought the clothes i wear, she bought the room im in, n my father did nothing (while in fact he paid for my schooling my whole life n put a roof over my head) she calls me an ungrateful whore who uses her (ive never asked her for anything, she just bought me the stuff and reminds me im nothing) anyone who goes against her well she cuts off completely, and she has many connections in the country and is 'popular' but she always complains about me wenever she gets the chance, my dad is emotionless, he has no reaction and is cold with her and us. i made contact with my real mother and she exploded and once my real mom sent me her pictures n cz i told my bf n showed him the pix she ripped them up, and called my mother a whore (n million other things, that she was ungrateful n left u bla bla)life with her is unbearable ive taken it for 20 years and ive had enough. what i need is a solution, i cant go to a shrink (its taboo in ouur society) i cant take her to a shrink (she's too proud n wont give in to the idea that she's a nut) i think i should leave n never come back, i am afraid i will feel bad, but i have to find a solution soon, or i will go insane. Thank you for any feedback sorry this wasnt short!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Do you have a job? If not, it's time to get one, save for a few months, and then move out. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Do you have a job? If not, it's time to get one, save for a few months, and then move out. I agree - you don't say what is keeping you there. You made reference to your society - are you in a culture where a girl lives at home until she is married? Are you going to school? We can't give you input without more information. Also going forward please use complete words and sentences, this is not texting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delicaterose Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 I agree - you don't say what is keeping you there. You made reference to your society - are you in a culture where a girl lives at home until she is married? Are you going to school? We can't give you input without more information. Also going forward please use complete words and sentences, this is not texting. Sorry, I didn't know the term 'bcz' was so difficult to decipher. Thanks for taking the time to the reply anyway Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 THAT's the only part of my post you respond to? Did you post in a moment of anger, or are you truly interested in getting input and advice? I posted because your situation does not sound all that different than mine at your age - and I would like to help - but there are some unclear points in your post. If it was just a moment of anger, that is fine too. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Sorry, I didn't know the term 'bcz' was so difficult to decipher. Thanks for taking the time to the reply anyway It's not hard to decipher; it's just irritating. I asked you a question which has a great deal of bearing on your situation before I can give any sort of advice. Any chance you want to respond to the posts? Link to post Share on other sites
mavislwf Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Regardless of the cultural background you are from, you came on here for advice from people that do not know you. I say, GET OUT, and GET OUT NOW. No one deserves that sort of treatment at all- no matter where you are from or what your cultural background is. You Step mom doesn't sound stable, esp if she called your B.F.'s mom to tell her you were raped! Easier said than done, I know, but to be sane in your mind, you must get toxic people out of your life and she is no exception. Please go get help from friends and get away from her ASAP. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author delicaterose Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Regardless of the cultural background you are from, you came on here for advice from people that do not know you. I say, GET OUT, and GET OUT NOW. No one deserves that sort of treatment at all- no matter where you are from or what your cultural background is. You Step mom doesn't sound stable, esp if she called your B.F.'s mom to tell her you were raped! Easier said than done, I know, but to be sane in your mind, you must get toxic people out of your life and she is no exception. Please go get help from friends and get away from her ASAP. Good luck to you! Thank you for not being judgmental and 'irritated' by what i wrote and simply providing a solution, your feedback was very helpful. It is easier said then done, but I'll try my best to get out of this situation and have some semblance of a life. I simply have no privacy with her around, she dictates my whole life, and gets pissed over the smallest things, it's really getting me down. Thanks again i appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 As a 20 year old, its refreshing to see you carry the decency to seek help. Accepting it gracefully will go far, even from those who do ask for common courtesy to type in a coherent manner. As an adult you'll find that folks have the right to ask for clarification when a sentence structure is garbled. Folks here are supportive up to a point. You'll find that your story carried judgmental characteristics against your Fill in Mother. Yet her actions warranted such phrases. No wrong in judging so long as its befitting of the situation. Best to you in gathering peace in your life. Hope you'll stick around , there is some good on these forums and some good folks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author delicaterose Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 As a 20 year old, its refreshing to see you carry the decency to seek help. Accepting it gracefully will go far, even from those who do ask for common courtesy to type in a coherent manner. As an adult you'll find that folks have the right to ask for clarification when a sentence structure is garbled. Folks here are supportive up to a point. You'll find that your story carried judgmental characteristics against your Fill in Mother. Yet her actions warranted such phrases. No wrong in judging so long as its befitting of the situation. Best to you in gathering peace in your life. Hope you'll stick around , there is some good on these forums and some good folks! I think my writing was quite coherent, and if people on this forum are annoyed or irritated by what i wrote, i don't think they are obliged to reply in that case. Now then, as English is not my native language, and it is in fact not even spoken in my country, i can not exactly type every word to perfection. i hope you understand that, and i realized that there are good folks on this forum, i have never stated otherwise Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 What country do you reside? Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 If English is your second language, then you have an astounding fluency at it. It's very impressive. I think people assumed you were either English or American and they get tired of reading abbreviated words. It does get annoying but in your case I'd say it's acceptable. I don't know what kind of circumstances you're in in terms of the country you live in, but is there a shelter where you could live until you get your feet on the ground? Are there friends who could let you live with them? Where is your father in all this? If he's not around, I would run very far away from this woman. If he is around, then shame on him for letting you be treated this way. The truth is, you have no one who's going to protect you and you're going to have to take care of yourself. Or maybe you and your boyfriend could get married. Whatever happens, you need to get away from your stepmother as soon as possible. Stop thinking of the reasons why you can't leave and start thinking of ways that you can leave. There's a solution - you just aren't seeing it yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Joie de Vivre Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 I am so sorry to hear what a horrible family experience you had It's hard to talk sense into woman so irrational, I would suggest you go live with a relative and take your little brother with you. Make sure you get a job and save some money before you do this (cause your stepmother might cut you off financially if you move out). If you are going to move out, don't tell her beforehand since her emotions are unpredictable. I would suggest telling her after you have moved. I am not sure if you are from an asian country... but countries like taiwan, singapore and japan think it's "taboo" to move out of the parents house before getting married even when the son or daughter is well into their 20's -- which is completely insane. hope you can find the courage to do what's right for you : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 As I asked before, do you have a job? Link to post Share on other sites
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