feeling jealous

[Patty]

Im feeling very jealous.Everyone else in my family are always doing the things that I've always dreamed of doing.Its not fair.Every time I turn my back their doing something else that I would of liked to do.This really gets to me.I hope someday I get to do something that no one else has ever done in this family.Cause their always doing things that I would of liked to do so thats why Im hoping I get to do something that they never have done.

 

It always seems some of the people in my family have to be the center of attention.Then people in my family forget about me cause their always interested in their talents all the time.

 

It makes me feel left out in the family.Especially when I see my mother always going out to attend someones game in this family.She goes to her ball games every week.I wonder if she will do the same for me if I was the one in ball games or any other function.I feel very left out.I always wanted her to come to my talent shows at school.

 

Patty

[midori]

and don't worry about what your family members are doing. If someone is taking a trip to New Orleans and you've always wanted to go, save your money and plan your own trip. What does it matter if your sister went last year?

 

You should cultivate your talents and hobbies based on what you're interested in, what your strengths are, and what strengths you'd like to develop. Not on what your family does, or what they might say.

 

Your post is too vague to reply to specifically, but it kind of sounds like you don't have much confidence in yourself. Have you tried to do any of the things you'd like to do, or do you just watch other people do it and worry that, if you ever did try it yourself, that no one would pay attention? Self-defeating people not only do not accomplish anything, but they also tend to be a drain on other people's energy. No one else can give you confidence and courage to try your hand at something but yourself. If people sense that you resent their accomplishments, instead of being happy for them, they're not going to want to be around you.

 

You have to be willing to take risks: that you won't be as successful as you'd like, that other people won't respond as you would wish. Chances are that neither will be true. Pick one thing that you'd like to do, and then do it. And build from there.

[Ally Boo]

The problem with comparing ourselves to others is that we often compare our weaknesses to their strengths."

[pinkroses]

Only it's not my family I feel jealous of, it's other people around my age. I feel like I have missed out on a lot due to growing up shy. I was a late bloomer and never had many friends or much fun. Furthermore my father was an alcoholic so our home and our family were closed off from the outside world, for the most part. My mother was over-protective, and I was the type of child who tried to be good to help the dysfunction in the family. Consequently, I never had my time of rebellion or individuality or any of the other behaviors most teens exhibit. Not just the bad traits, but the good traits of breaking away and becoming independent and self-confident, etc. too. I'm quickly approaching forty now and I feel like there's so many things I never got to do, although there are some I was able to make happen.

 

The best advice I can give is to not compare yourself with anyone else, and celebrate the talents and strengths you have. Even if others don't give you the recognition and praise you desire, you can always be there for yourself. When you start feeling better about yourself, others will have a tendency to pick up on it and be drawn to you. It takes time, and I'm still trying to get there myself. It's either that, or feel stuck in a victim role.

[Debster]

Instead of thinking about doing something - go out there and do it. You control your own destiny.