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I miss my mom. Afraid it's not normal.


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I feel like I miss my mom - she died almost three years ago from a degenerative disease - whenever I go through a break-up or tough time. On some level I understand why, but really, I worry that there's something wrong with me. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Any feedback would be very appreciated. Thank you. :)

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Starry-eyed

I'm sorry about your mom passing away. There is nothing at all wrong with missing your mom. Ever. Over time it will probably come and go, and it will come on strong during hard times like break-ups or whatever difficulty.

 

I'm basically a middle-aged woman and am very close with my mom and don't know what I'd do without her. So, there is nothing wrong with you for missing your mom. Maybe you can get some support from another family member.

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I'm sorry about your mom passing away. There is nothing at all wrong with missing your mom. Ever.

I couldn't have said it any better (and I am pretty awesome with words). What you are going through is completely normal.

 

Especially when you are down, or you have emotions or moments you want to share. It's tough. Her influence lives on in you, and maybe that's what you are feeling inside.

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I think that missing someone is just the flip side of loving them. You don't stop loving someone just because they are not there and you don't stop missing them because they died.

 

At first the missing is full of pain because of the shock but eventually its a kind of remembering ... my dad died over 13 years ago and i still think of things I'd like to tell him. That's okay, its because I loved him.

 

Its never abnormal to miss someone we loved.

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Its never abnormal to miss someone we loved.

That's what I think, too. I hope my restraining order gets lifted soon, because I look weird carrying around a pair of binoculars.

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I guess I have been surrounded by so many who look down on feeling anything, particularly now, about her, that I scare myself. But I know, were she to be in my shoes, that she would miss me too, and I hope she would! You all have given me a new perspective, and I so appreciate that. I just wish she were here right now, because I know how much she loved me ... and she had such good advice. And I trusted her like no one else I have ever known. I think moms are special like that, maybe.

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Starry-eyed
That's what I think, too. I hope my restraining order gets lifted soon, because I look weird carrying around a pair of binoculars.

 

:lmao: Do restraining orders have an expiration date?

 

 

I guess I have been surrounded by so many who look down on feeling anything, particularly now, about her, that I scare myself. But I know, were she to be in my shoes, that she would miss me too, and I hope she would! You all have given me a new perspective, and I so appreciate that. I just wish she were here right now, because I know how much she loved me ... and she had such good advice. And I trusted her like no one else I have ever known. I think moms are special like that, maybe.

 

It sounds like you guys were close and that she was a great mom. That unconditional love and mom-advice are just really some of the top things in life and there just isn't anyone like that one person who will always love, comfort, and advise you. She would probably be glad at the strength and character you are devoloping as you go through life on your own now. It isn't easy.

 

That's too bad that the people around you are judgmental of your grief. They might just be suppressing their own feelings and that is not healthy; it will come back somehow, some way.

 

Just feel what you feel, Cole. Things will get better. :)

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Lost my Mom 5 years ago and there's not a week that goes by where I don't miss her and wish that I could talk to her. And that's OK, because having her in my thoughts is a way of having her with me. Be glad you two were close and strive for that with your own kids some day...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I lost my mom a number of years ago. Since then I've grown up, graduated from high school and college, got married and had a family. And at times I still miss her. It's one of those things that I don't think ever really goes away you just learn to live with it. There will always be times that you miss her more than other's for exp. the day I got married or had my children, but a part of her will always be with me. What you're feeling is perfectly normal and nothing to be concerned about.

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cole - when you think of her, and miss her, even through the sadness, are there happy memories and comforting feelings in there, too?

 

I guess I have been surrounded by so many who look down on feeling anything, particularly now, about her, that I scare myself.

I'm sorry about that. Unless you are crushed and incapacitated, or feeling signs of depression related to these feelings, it sounds like you are in a more healthy place than others who would just put their memories away on a shelf so they don't have to feel the grief.

 

Remember her - it's OK to feel the sadness (and I think perfectly normal that you would notice it especially during times of turmoil, when you would naturally look to someone like your mother for support...), and it's also OK to remember all the good stuff with a smile.

 

My father in law passed away a while back - sadly, just a few months before he would have been able to meet my newborn daughter. My mother in law still brings him up; I like to hear her memories, and I think she appreciates it when I share my memories of him with her, too.

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I actually cried when I read your post... how touching...

 

Sweetie, you're sooo normal... it is sooo normal to miss someone you loved so much.

 

Don't ever feel you're not normal... think about her as much as you want... talk to her, talk about her to your friends and family as much as you want and need to. It's good for you.

 

I wish I could give you a BIG (((((hug))))). :love:

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Missing someone who has passed is a very normal thing. That only means that they are with you. I still miss my Nana who passed away over 20 years ago. I belive that when a person has a great influence on your life that you never get over loosing them. Do you have a family member that you can talk to about your Mom, perhaps one of her siblings, you Dad or one of your siblings, or a member of your church?

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whichwayisup
I feel like I miss my mom - she died almost three years ago from a degenerative disease - whenever I go through a break-up or tough time. On some level I understand why, but really, I worry that there's something wrong with me. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Any feedback would be very appreciated. Thank you. :)

 

You'll always miss your mom. And that's completely normal!!

 

It's been 14 years now since my father died and I still miss him alot.

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I don't think missing someone who has loved you all your life is a moment of weakness! It's just a natural part of the equation when you're not with that person, you know?

 

don't overly worry about those people who think you shouldn't indulging in feelings for someone you lost – they don't know your relationship with that person, therefore, they will never "get" it. And that's not your problem, but theirs ...

 

for the record, my mom died four years ago this December and there are days I miss her oh so bad because she was my voice of sanity. And source of unconditional love, even when I was being a little shxt, lol ... when it gets really bad, I remind myself that even though she's not on this physical plane, her love for me (and mine for her) transcends the time-distance-space thing, that it's as real as the mole on my arm or the air that I breathe, and nothing can steal that from me.

 

so don't think yourself weak or bad or wrong or abnormal for missing the person who first taught you how to love ...

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I am 55 with a mother in a nursing home. She's 87.

I was always closer to Mom. And before my Dad passed over 10 years ago I asked him to give me controlling interest over my sister for her welfare.

And it's strange I feel mad still with him leaving us.

I KNEW my sister wanted to sell Mom's home. (Because she wanted the money) I had made Dad put everything in Moms name and neither of us could touch what she owned till she passed.

I took care of Mom completely when Dad passed. Till she fell and broke her hip and had to go into a nursing home.

I live in the house now. I'm responsible for the upkeep. I also am responsible for the payments to the nursing home. I also visit Mom regular... at least once a week.

Sis visits Mom once a year and she lives close to the home as do I.

 

It's normal to love your parents. AND miss them for long times when they part from us. I had a great life. We were dirt poor, but it was packed full of love. I am the youngest.

DO NOT feel guilty for missing your Mom. You loved her deeply and there is NOTHING wrong in this.

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I feel like I miss my mom - she died almost three years ago from a degenerative disease - whenever I go through a break-up or tough time. On some level I understand why, but really, I worry that there's something wrong with me. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Any feedback would be very appreciated. Thank you. :)

 

Cole, there's nothing wrong with you at all. It's completely normal to miss someone who has passed on in times of great stress and personal pain.

My mom and dad are both gone now, it's been five years for my dad, and seventeen years for my mom. I still miss them as bad as I did right after they died. I hope you will be ok, hugs to you.

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Your memories, stories, and support mean so much, and you all have reminded me how lucky I am to still have her in my life and heart - she's with me in spirit and memory, like your moms and dads are for you, and I love hearing about the love you have for them. :) Thank you for that. A big hug to all of you too! xo Cole

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love necessity
I feel like I miss my mom - she died almost three years ago from a degenerative disease - whenever I go through a break-up or tough time. On some level I understand why, but really, I worry that there's something wrong with me. Does anyone else go through the same thing?

Any feedback would be very appreciated. Thank you. :)

 

I lost my Aunt (RIP), and always think about her when I'm sad or hurt. I think it's a subconscious thing. She raised me as her own child with the rest of my cousins, so she was my mother. She passed away in 2001 of colon cancer.

Whenever I think about her, it gives me strength, and that could be why you think of her when you're feeling down? It's ok to feel like this, she was your mother, you'll never forget about her, and always know that she is in a better place shining down on you--pushing you through life...

 

Feel better soon:)

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it's normal to miss someone you love.

 

my dad has been gone for 12 years and i still miss him every day. he was a great man in my life.

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My mother died on October 5, 2000.... I think about her every day.

 

 

I told father in law how often I think of her and he told me his mother died 26 years ago and he still thinks of her daily.

 

 

Man... I tell you.. what i would do for just one more hug from her.

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