Alimony

[1AQUARIAN]

Trying to work out things with H BEFORE having to go to a lawyer. Don't have any idea of what to ask for spousal support! We would have been married 25 years this September. A while back, he told me "I could have everything.house, car, furniture, etc......." BUT I wouldn't count on him continuing to feel that way when all is said and done.

How do they figure the amount of alimony? is there a "fair" amount, like percentage? I live in Florida, and have been told over 20 years is concidered long term marriage and is generally awarded alimony, espicially if my H makes a lot more than me......

Any body know???????

[Curmudgeon]

Here's some info on spousal support law in Florida from DivorceSupport.com.

Florida Spousal Support/Maintenance/Alimony Factors

 

In Florida the support payments (if any) can certainly influence how the marital property distribution is awarded, which is why it can become a very intricate part of the final outcome of any divorce. Keeping this in mind, if you and your spouse are unable to reach and agreement on this issue, the Circuit Court will order support from one spouse to the other on a case-by-case basis as follows:

 

The court may grant permanent or rehabilitative alimony to either party. The court will typically order periodic payments or payments in lump sum or a combination of both. The court may also consider marital fault, especially adultery when making an alimony award.

 

The court shall consider all relevant economic factors, including but not limited to: (1) The standard of living established while married. (2) The length of the marriage. (3) The age and health of each party. (4) The financial resources and assets of each party. (5) When applicable, the time necessary for either party to acquire sufficient education or training to enable such party to find appropriate employment. (6) The contribution of each party to the marriage, including, but not limited to, services rendered in homemaking, child care, education, and career building of the other party. (7) All sources of income available to either party. The court may consider any other factor necessary to do equity and justice between the parties.

 

The court may order any spouse who is paying alimony to purchase or maintain a life insurance policy or a bond, or to otherwise secure such alimony award should he or she predecease the obligated support period. (Florida Statutes - Chapters: 61.08)

 

You can also read more about Florida spousal support in the Florida state statutes located at: http://www.flsenate.gov/.

[1AQUARIAN]

Thanks for the web site Curmudgean.....But I was hoping to get some personal experiences advice. Can someone share with me how their experience was with getting alimony?

[Guest]

I don't live in Florida rather in Utah. I just recently got a divorce. My ex asked for a separation. He was feeling guilty and proceeded to tell me how much he would give me for child support and alimony. He was extremely generous. On the advice of a friend, I asked him to put what he was offering for support in a letter and have it notarized. He took it to work the next day and had his secretary do that. When he wanted a divorce a month later, I had a copy of that notarized letter. He was pretty angry with himself for doing it as it was more generous than the court would have given. Whether the letter would have held up in court, I have no idea. But it worked for my purposes. We tried to remain civil and did the divorce ourselves online. I was married 19 years and so will receive alimony for that long. I'm not counting on him either. He is liable just to disappear or quit his job. So, I have taken steps to protect myself by finding ways to make more income. I want to be able to take care of myself. If I can do that, the money I get will go towards our daughter's college education which he has refused to help with.

 

My best advice would be to try to remain friends until after your papers are signed. If you can get his promises in writing, do so. And yes, you are right, he will change his mind once he figures out he's being generous because of guilt. Hire an attorney if you have a lot of property and don't assume he won't be hiring one. If you don't need an attorney, still be wary and careful. Your attorney is there to protect you and your assets. The law is usually on the side of a spouse who has been in a long-term marriage and has been the victim such as in the case of infidelity or abandonment. I just don't know what Florida laws states. Be sure to get a credit report and find out where all your assets are so he doesn't hide anything. My spouse gave me the house so I quick-claimed him off the deed as soon as I could. In the end, figure out what you could do if you were totally left on your own. Could you get a better job, go back to school, sell some property or your house?

 

As far as alimony is concerned, most states have a way to figure it out. Alot depends on things like your accustomed level of living, shared debts, children staying in the house, equity in your house, etc. I would definitely try to figure out how much you need to live on. See if you can work it out with your spouse as you are more likely to reach an agreement you will both like rather than one the court will come up with. Try to be nice and friendly so you can get what you want. That definitely worked for me. Once I realized the divorce was going to happen and that it was best for me, I was sweet and nice. Now, I don't have to ever talk to him unless it is about our daughter. Also, I got him to put the money in my account through direct deposit. He originally wanted to give me a check every two weeks and I said no. He tried a few other things too like saying he couldn't do direct deposit so I called his HR department and found out how to do it and who to talk to and e-mailed him the info. He was a little mad about that.

 

Again, I'm not a lawyer, just been there, done that. I was lucky in that I acted fast on his guilt. I now earn more than he does with my own income and alimony/child support. I would get advice from others who live in your state and have gone through the same thing. And, always try to protect yourself. You deserve it.

 

Good luck, Shelly

[Trimmer]

Hi, 1AQ -

 

Another thing you might consider, go take an initial consultation with a lawyer, and treat it as an educational opportunity. In that first hour I learned a lot, and I encouraged my wife to go do the same, which she did (with a different atty.) Then we came back and started discussing things without lawyers directly involved, and it hasn't been particularly adversarial, and here's the good thing: I don't think either of us feels like we're working from a disadvantage, since we both got educated first.

 

I don't know if you have kids, but we're keeping the focus on reorganizing our family in a way that will provide for the kids, so it wouldn't serve either of our purposes to take advantage of the other. That's why it was worth both of us getting educated, and coming to the table to get it done cooperatively.

 

Shelly feels "lucky" that she "acted fast on his guilt" and got more than a court would have given her. And then he "refused" to help with their daughter's college education funding. 1AQ, if you have kids, I plead with you, put them first, and leave this dynamic out of their lives...

[1AQUARIAN]

ok, so now I'm really confused! I spoke with a lawyer today and he feels being I make a few more dollars than my husband an hour I will NOT be able to get alimony???!!! Even though I work part-time and my husband works 40+ AND has started a second job! He said with my profession (a licensed practical nurse) I CAN work full time! I thought they go go by usual "way of living"..in 25 years of marriage I either didn't work, or at the most worked part-time(actually, I think I did work full time once for like a year) That's the way my husband wanted it.

Any advice?

[catgirl1927]

I don't understand, if you have a good job, why do you need alimony? Are there children involved? Because isn't that handled separately as child support?

[1AQUARIAN]

I only work that good job part-time......I wouldn't be able to support me and me two teens. and I'm not sure if I CAN get full-time hours OR if I want to as my two teens would be home 5 evenings (I work 3P-11:30PM) a weeks alone!

[Curmudgeon]

OK, here's the issue as the court may look at it. You have a readily negotiable skill that is in high demand nationwide because there's a huge shortage of nurses across the board. Therefore, you have the potential to work fulltime and make more than enough to support yourself and the children. The children are teens and may be presumed to be more than capable of caring for themselves during your absence for work. While that may not be what you want or see as an ideal situation, it's a reality.

 

In summation, the court may be reluctant to award spousal support (and that has nothing to do with child support) because you could have a fulltime career if you wished to. Therefore, you are not necessarily dependent upon the earnings of your ex. Voluntary under-employment will likely not resonate with the court!

[1AQUARIAN]

I understand what you are saying Carmudgeon, it's makes sense. I just don't want the courts to then look at the fact that then I won't be home in the evenings when they are there and then think they'd be better off with dad who works days. Maybe I need to check into different hours.

So, they go by "I CAN make more". Even though I haven't worked full-time basically since I had kids....(22years) I was planning on working full-time after the kids had grown definately, but I was hoping to keep the same standard of living they we use to right now. This is good info.......I wasn't sure how it worked. But I understand how the court can look at it.....

Does it differ with child support?

[CastingPearls]

In a divorce, you will both be hurt financially, you will no longer be sharing household expenses. He needs to get by and so do you. The harsh reality is you will both be working longer and harder just to maintain your current standard of living. Even if he makes more money than you, even if his behavior led to your filing for divorce, if you have a skill that earns income, you are expected to work to the fullest extent you are able to support yourself. I know too well. I now work 12 hour shifts every single weekend including holidays because that is the only time my parents can help me with childcare. ( I am the CP) My ex husband is living it up and even though his income is reduced by child support, he has little or no responsibility. But I am still glad to be out of a hellish marriage. You have to be very sure of what you want. C.P.

[bkz]

I just saw a lawyer again today to make sure of my rights. Im in calif. but heres what he's told me. Im going to be wanting 50/50 custody and i'll get it so she'll get no child support nor will I. Even though my wife mostly works part time they'll go off her "earning potential" and thats almost as much as I make so she'll get very little if any alamony, more likely none. When I first told this to my wife a month or so ago she was totally pissed so I told her she should consult her lawyer again to make sure what I told her was true. Well 3 lawyers later she still hasnt gotten the anwers she wants, emagine that!!!!! Guess she'll just have to keep trying huh?

[Curmudgeon]

Depending upon your state's laws, CS can be awarded merely upon the number of minor children you have primary custody of or on an income-shares model which takes both parents' incomes into consideration. In the latter case, modification is always possible as incomes rise.